LovieDove24 Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 You always hear that when men really care about you, you will know it. They will move mountains to be with you, etc. I've dated and been in relationships with plenty of men, but never was there this "hot pursuit" that they claim happens when a man is really in love. I usually get the old dinner and a movie, nice conversation and a phone call here and there. Its usually pretty ho-hum, the guy does enough to get to know me and thats it--definitely no mountains being moved here. So since I've never FELT like wow, this guy really loves me (based on his actions) does this mean I've never had a man that truly loves me? Link to post Share on other sites
AlektraClementine Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 I didn't find it until the age of 30. And yes, it does exist. It's not just about finding him though. You have to be ready to let go of certain things, too. Be ready to invest in one of the good guys, even if at first you might not think he's your type. We women can't just sit around waiting for a man to move mountains. You gotta give him a reason to. Link to post Share on other sites
New Again Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Huh. I've never felt that way either. My take on it (sorry but I'm a woman) has always been that such an attitude/IDEAL is a romanticized version of real life, and it just doesn't really happen. Like that study that says women who read romance novels are less satisfied with their partners - cuz (for example) like you're saying men in those books (and movies) move mountains, pursue the woman they're into past the point of rationality, know her and understand her unlike anyone ever has, etc. And that just doesn't happen IRL. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 The "hot pursuit" portion at the beginning of the dating experience, is infatuation not love. No one falls in live THAT quickly, previous to and including, the first part of dating, unless they've known each other for years. If so, there's rarely the "hot pursuit" component of it. Why not just look for the "all in" component instead? If a man's making you his priority, you will know! Link to post Share on other sites
wontgohomewou Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 I was in love with my ex but I never really was able to show it. Guys aren't really great at expressing their feelings and such. I mean sometimes when I thought about her and realized how much I loved her I would get her a present and just tell her it's because she makes me happy. Sometimes I would call her late at night and tell her how much she means to me. Sometimes I looked at her when she slept, wept a tear at how special she is to me. Wrote a poem for her and stuff. It's just hard for a guy to really express how much the girl means to him, but I really did love her and would have seriously given anything for her. She was sweet enough not to ask me to give up anything. But after being broken up for the past 8 months I realized that the true love was one sided. It's funny how cold a girl can become in just a few months. Link to post Share on other sites
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