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Is there something going on? or am I just paranoid?


Infusion

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I am currently in a stable relationship with a girl, but sometimes it bothers me that her friend (a guy) is very close to her, and they seem to talk in their own language too, so to speak. That doesn't bother me too much, what bothers me though is that sometimes she would tell me that she loves him and that he loves her. Now I know she means love as in love for a friend, but there are lots that I don't know between them, because they have known each other for 6 years, vs. only 2 and a half for me. And I can't help but feel a little weird at times when she brings him along and all three of us go places. More interestingly though is that I have heard from her friends that her friend had previously asked a few guys out. I know he's not straight but I am not sure if he's bi or just gay. So that bothers me sometimes because I am left in the dark about that. Once my girlfriend hinted to me that it 'upsets god' but that doens't tell me too much and she wouldn't tell me any more without him agreeing to (she didn't end up asking him because it's weird, as she told me). Also, when he tells my girlfriend that he loves her (and I know about it because my girlfriend tells me about it, so i think she's probably not hiding anything), he always adds that he loves her "as a friend, strictly as a friend" Maybe I am a little paranoid... I know that my girlfriend loves me and she tells me sometimes too, but I really can't help but think of that guy as more than just a friend because I am not sure what he is, I need someone else to look at it from another perspective for me. And I am not saying that I don't trust her, but it's more like I don't trust her friend, because I barely know him and I think he once tried hitting on me too. I would truly appreciate your help, thanks.

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i doubt theres anything going on - doesn't sound like it to me. Sounds like they're just good friends, and him adding 'as a friend, strictly as a friend' even reinforces the fact that they're just friends - nothing more. I think he adds that just so she doesn't start to get the wrong idea - which can sometimes be a good idea - as some people can take things totally the wrong way than it was intended as I've experienced before...

 

You could always ask her more about her friend - or talk to him if it really bothers you.

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Thanks for your reply,

 

On a few occassions I have asked her, but not directly. It started out with her saying that she helped him with something the christmas before, but I didn't understand what she meant. I tried to ask her but she got upset and said that she'll tell me one day, then later on she just said that she'll only tell me if her friend has nothing against it. It turned out that she never wanted to ask because she told me it's very weird to ask him such a question. I had a feeling it was something terrible and she told me that it upsets god when I asked her about it. So yeah, I guess I do agree with you, i think it was a little bit of jealousy on my part knowing that he is a guy too, and even though he may not be straight, i don't know of his real sexual orientation, that was probably the biggest problem I had. Thanks again!

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