How do I erase my EA out of my brain?

[Hotchocolate]

Most of you had seen my post on whether or not I was having a crush or full on EA. I pretty much concluded I was having an EA, although to this day I'm not sure was all in my head or if he kind of crafted it that way to keep himself squeaky clean. I also concluded he is probably a practiced serial cheater (you'll recall Bambi) and was probably seeing what he could get out me on any level.

 

Anyway, after spending some time on LS, concluded there is no good that can come of even thinking about him as an innocent crush and need to mentally move on (whether I stay in my marriage or not). I've heard about NC, but it is not technically possible. What I would like some help with is how to mentally erase him, yet still interact with him in a way that does not harm me professionally.

 

1) We work together as scientists on something breakthru, so getting a new job/transfer would be strange in our situation (and it's a big deal for us professionally -- he works for the biotech, I work for the pharma company). I am also in a somewhat subservient position to him which means I can't just turn cold, I have to remain completely professional.

 

2) I also think he has gotten use to my attention and have noticed that he gets very sensitive/passive aggressive when I pull back, don't pay enough attention to him, etc.

 

I've ensured we're not alone together, work with his other team members as much as I can, talk about his wife and my husband as much as possible (in a nice way) .

 

But the bottom line is, I am really, really sad and depressed. I ate a pint of B&J the other day. Is this normal, and will I snap out of it? How can I feel this sad over something that never happened physically?

 

Any advice is welcome.

[anne1707]

I've ensured we're not alone together, work with his other team members as much as I can

 

Good

 

talk about his wife and my husband as much as possible (in a nice way) .

 

Bad

 

 

To do NC at work, you keep it strictly work. Be polite, be professional but do not do personal - no what did you do at the weekend, how are the wife & kids etc. Just work. It's tough but it can be done (speaking from experience here)