Would You Tell

[Reggie]

I'd think you should just let this go....

 

Let him learn on his own who this woman really is. I'd offer him the truth if he'd ask, But I wouldnt interfere because you might make things worse.

 

Let her ruin her life if she wants but if you butt in it might look like your being a stalker or idiot ex who cant let go.

 

Yep, I can see this is right.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Yep, I can see this is right.

 

Believe it or not I'd would want to warn him to but but I've done something like this before and let's just say that when it was over they blaimed me anyway's for interering. So I have this policy if it aint got nothing to do with me or my interests I stay out of it. and only if they ask for an opinion or help do I involve myself.

 

Who knows maybe this man is not all right in the head and she may get a taste of her own medicine. She might screw over the wrong guy. Sometimes in life karma happens in unexpected ways.

 

I seen it happen, especially to me. lol. it might happen to her to. just protect your kids and live your life. forget what happens to her.

[Gamine]

Believe it or not I'd would want to warn him to but but I've done something like this before and let's just say that when it was over they blaimed me anyway's for interering. So I have this policy if it aint got nothing to do with me or my interests I stay out of it. and only if they ask for an opinion or help do I involve myself.

 

Who knows maybe this man is not all right in the head and she may get a taste of her own medicine. She might screw over the wrong guy. Sometimes in life karma happens in unexpected ways.

 

I seen it happen, especially to me. lol. it might happen to her to. just protect your kids and live your life. forget what happens to her.

 

Yes, but she is their mother. And, what she goes through so do they. Perhaps her parents can be coerced into having a frank discussion with her and this fella... perhaps with a priest or minister present.

 

Reggie, you are in a rock and a hard place. On one hand you can't turn a blind eye... for what happens to the mother happens to your children. On the other hand, you don't want to 'appear' to be a psycho stalker. there has to be a way whereby they, as a couple, at some appropriate point in time have to deal with putting their cards on the table. She is the mother of your children and while you may not be concerned with his or her well being and the fruitfulness of their relationship... I'd be freaked out over the kids and the crap they will be put through if it isn't 100%.

[jwi71]

Yes, but she is their mother. And, what she goes through so do they. Perhaps her parents can be coerced into having a frank discussion with her and this fella... perhaps with a priest or minister present.

 

Reggie, you are in a rock and a hard place. On one hand you can't turn a blind eye... for what happens to the mother happens to your children. On the other hand, you don't want to 'appear' to be a psycho stalker. there has to be a way whereby they, as a couple, at some appropriate point in time have to deal with putting their cards on the table. She is the mother of your children and while you may not be concerned with his or her well being and the fruitfulness of their relationship... I'd be freaked out over the kids and the crap they will be put through if it isn't 100%.

 

Reggie can only control and affect himself, not her or anyone else. If SHE chooses that path there is NOTHING Reggie can do or say to stop her. All, in my view, that Reggie can do is sit the xW down and speak of his concerns for his children. It ends there. HE can't protect his children from HER or her decisions. What the xW chooses is what she chooses. Nothing to be done.

 

All you can do Reggie is hope she chooses well and love your kids. Yes, it sucks in the short term. But its all you can do. Your kids WILL figure it out. In time. I know its little consolation. Honestly, Im in the same boat with my xW...she says and does the stupidest things...and it affects my kids. And all I can do is love them, be safe for them and steady for them. Be there. That's my role now. All you can do.

 

Be strong. Kids aren't stupid. They WILL figure it out. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But they will. They day will come when you see the recognition and role YOU played in their lives. They WILL understand.

 

Its all I, you or anyone else in this boat can do. Be the safe place for them.

 

JW

[Chrome Barracuda]

Like i said before as long as the kids arent negatively impacted directly from this woman, reggie shouldnt care. Let her ruin her own life. The minute she hurts your children is when you should be concerned.

[Reggie]

Yep, it is a tough spot. I know nothing about this particular young man, although , from what I am told, he is successful and he was never involved with her when she was cheating.

I, indircetly, did bring pressure to bear on the relationship with the OM, with whom she moved in along with the kids. My desemination of info to her folks and my kids re him and his role, led to his ostracization. This, apparently had an adverse effect on their relationship and it died after about a year. I expect having the opportunity to see each other in the light of day as they truly are , also played a role in the relationship's demise. This was a good thing, IMO, as I did not want my kids associating with him.

My XWw is a very good looking woman and she targets relatively naive men, like me at the time, who are financially succesful. I would imagine this young guy is a decent type, successful and someone , due to his interest in academic pusuits along with the use of pocketprotectors and thick eyeglasses, has not had much of this type of attention , at least until his ship came in, financially. She'll work on him no doubt.

But, he has done nothing that would indicate he is a bad guy or would be a bad influence on my kids. I cannot object to his presence. I was merely thinking about whether i would have appreciated this type of info on the X prior to getting involved.

I'm pretty sure that I would not have heeded advice, at that time, due to my stupidity and the visual stimulation she offered.

One impediment to this relationship is the widespread knowledge that ins now out there re her infidelity. Normally, this might be ignored or not beleived. However, in my situation, my in-laws are very much aware of the cheating and very disapproving.

I continue to be invited to the in-laws house each week to eat and to go on golf vactions with all my XW's brothers, uncles and her dad. This was a source of consternation for the OM, as , undoubtedly, he had been fed some information from her re my monster status.

I expect this type of dynamic will arouse some curiousity in the new guy, as well.

But, I perceive no threat to my kids.

[Reggie]

jiwi, you are right. That is how I've conducted myself to this point and it seems the kids are okay. Thye are doing very well in school, have many friends, and we have a very good relationship. They all know about the cheating and I have never criticized their mom to them, I simply answered their questions truthfully.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Yep, it is a tough spot. I know nothing about this particular young man, although , from what I am told, he is successful and he was never involved with her when she was cheating.

I, indircetly, did bring pressure to bear on the relationship with the OM, with whom she moved in along with the kids. My desemination of info to her folks and my kids re him and his role, led to his ostracization. This, apparently had an adverse effect on their relationship and it died after about a year. I expect having the opportunity to see each other in the light of day as they truly are , also played a role in the relationship's demise. This was a good thing, IMO, as I did not want my kids associating with him.

My XWw is a very good looking woman and she targets relatively naive men, like me at the time, who are financially succesful. I would imagine this young guy is a decent type, successful and someone , due to his interest in academic pusuits along with the use of pocketprotectors and thick eyeglasses, has not had much of this type of attention , at least until his ship came in, financially. She'll work on him no doubt.

But, he has done nothing that would indicate he is a bad guy or would be a bad influence on my kids. I cannot object to his presence. I was merely thinking about whether i would have appreciated this type of info on the X prior to getting involved.

I'm pretty sure that I would not have heeded advice, at that time, due to my stupidity and the visual stimulation she offered.

One impediment to this relationship is the widespread knowledge that ins now out there re her infidelity. Normally, this might be ignored or not beleived. However, in my situation, my in-laws are very much aware of the cheating and very disapproving.

I continue to be invited to the in-laws house each week to eat and to go on golf vactions with all my XW's brothers, uncles and her dad. This was a source of consternation for the OM, as , undoubtedly, he had been fed some information from her re my monster status.

I expect this type of dynamic will arouse some curiousity in the new guy, as well.

But, I perceive no threat to my kids.

 

She's gonna bump into the wrong man who isnt gonna take anything she does sitting down. If there is one thing that might push a man over the edge is his emotions and his money!

 

As long as your kids are safe reggie is all that matters!

[tami-chan]

I'd love to. Where shall I begin?

Begin anywhere you want...last time I check I am not in control of this site..

 

Reg, don't start...last time you tried you went crying to the moderators !

[Reggie]

I've never been to the moderators, except to be disciplined myself, TC. I like our exchanges, although they are not much of a challenge,:bunny:

[tami-chan]

I've never been to the moderators, except to be disciplined myself, TC. I like our exchanges, although they are not much of a challenge,:bunny:

 

sure.... pathetic liar or just in denial.....hmmm...

[Reggie]

I'm serious TC. I mean "duh", "ahem".,would I lie to you?

[Reggie]

Oh, shoot . Forgot a "hmmmm...".

[tami-chan]

I'm serious TC. I mean "duh", "ahem".,would I lie to you?

 

 

I have not been rude to you in your thread. I have responded with sincerity, but if you choose to be your usual rude and sarcastic self, I can absolutely go that route too..

 

lie to me? you have...what's to stop you?

 

and you know why you are where you are in your life? that's right, cause you are far from brilliant yourself.

[Reggie]

Well , just tone down the "duhs" etc. That stuff is for kids.

[tami-chan]

Well , just tone down the "duhs" etc. That stuff is for kids.

 

Duh....get over your self...no wait..get over your x-wives....and do a better job advertising yourself on those websites!

[Reggie]

I've received many positive responses on the Bipolar dating site, FYI.

[Reggie]

What does "duh" mean , btw. Is it some type of Oriental dumpling?

[tami-chan]

LOL...well, hmmmm....let's see...why would you think about food on YOUR thread? are you fat? Because constantly thinking about food is quite nasty.

[Dexter Morgan]

its hilarious to see tami trying to get Reggie's goat and failing miserably.

[Reggie]

LOL...well, hmmmm....let's see...why would you think about food on YOUR thread? are you fat? Because constantly thinking about food is quite nasty.

 

I love food. I think about it a lot. I could lose some weight, I guess. I did not realize it was nasty to think about food constantly. Thanks for setting me straight.

[tami-chan]

Now you know... oh, it's nasty to constantly think about ex-wives too...! not that you do....just saying...

[Reggie]

Now you know... oh, it's nasty to constantly think about ex-wives too...! not that you do....just saying...

Or to stay in a marriage for 16 years, post cheating and allow one's husband to force her to have sex against her will. Sounds a bit dysfunctional(or nasty, to me:))

[tami-chan]

whoa...getting directly personal...LOL...but I agree with the above...ugh...!!! . Still no regrets, So I stayed in the marriage<shrug> at least I am not crying like a victim<and assigning psych labels to excuse behaviors> and looking for hook-ups on websites (pathetic:rolleyes:). I am looking forward to being divorced ( I know, about time, right?), moving to my new home and new life .

[Reggie]

Your "hookups" were with a married guy, a lawyer whose "legalese" turned you on:rolleyes: ahem... Meantime, you modeled a loveless marriage for your daughter and squandered your youth,TC.