2ndwife4now Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 I have been married only a year, yet I find myself dreaming of having an affair. I love my husband but even on a good day the sex is mediocre, and I am frustrated. I have two sons and their father was let's say "blessed", and my husband isn't. In fact, other then his first wife, I am the only other person he has had sex with. He has very little experience. Help me ! Please help me make a sound decision, I love my husband and don't want to cheat, but it's getting to be a bit much. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 I don't think great sex makes a great relationship. I think a great relationship makes great sex. The old saying is: It's not the size of the fishing pole....but how you wiggle the worm. Whether he is "blessed" or not....really shouldn't be the issue. Maybe you should read thru some of the sex forums online....and see what you can do to teach him what it takes to satisfy you. With a few pointers....he may get to the place of rocking your world!! Give the man a chance......LOL!! Link to post Share on other sites
MIKEY Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 You need to realize that your feeling for him are much more important than anything else. If all your looking for is a "blessed" man than you run the risk of being very unhappy the rest of your life. Sex is important I agree--but in time you will learn to love it because you claim you LOVE him. In every relationship the sex parts breaks down eventually. It is not always mind blowing. But if you have a love and freindship to fall back on that is the most important thing. You love him so why risk that. You see you can teach good sex techniques in time, but what you cant teach is faithfulness and love....and you found that.....dont risk it by being a cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Felice Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 If you truly don't want to cheat-then don't.... If you must ,get out of the relationship before doing anything,otherwise there is just to much pain involved otherwise,on both sides.Think about it before you do it.I am on the recieving end of someone cheating on me,and it hurts,it hurts BAD.It's selfish and just plain wrong.Have some respect for you AND the other person. Link to post Share on other sites
wiseOLDman Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 2ndwife4now, take the situation in hand. If you love your current husband, but he lacks skills in the bedroom, begin to introduce him to some new things that YOU like or want him to do. This could certainly bring you two to a closer, more exciting, sexual relationship. I've been married nearly 20 years and have brought new things to the bedroom on occasion and spiced things up when we began to fall into a "rutt." Give this a try before you throw away the emotional security for a couple more inches. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 Heck, you can get videos and books and learn new stuff together. People seem to think sex is like athletics in that you either are born with the talent or not. Not at all so - certainly people can learn to be better in bed. Of course, they have to want to. Anyone who is offended by the suggestion that s/he could stand to learn some stuff is a problem. Sure, monkeys know how to 'do it' without a manual, but then emotional satisfaction isn't exactly high on their list of priorities Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 hmmmmm only after a year of being married and your thinking of having an affair.... maybe its not your husbands lack of love making skills perhaps hes had poor teachers.... just a thought.... Link to post Share on other sites
platonic Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 I have never thought that I was very good in bed. I am very good with the touching and caressing an the attention, but the actual intercourse....well, probaby not so good. After our first year of marriage, I went out and bought my wife a vibrator, and we used it just about everytime we had sex for the last ten years. Generally, she would orgasm 3-4 times, and was very satisfied - which of course pleased me too. At first, I was a little nervous, particularly as it became almost a necessity for us, but in time, it didn't bother me at all. It works, try it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Faerie Princess Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 And you can really get by with the smaller penis if you try, and he tries. Books, erotic manuals, and lots and lots of good old fashioned practise can improve you sex life. Are you telling him you're not satisfied? Are you suggesting he try things that will satisfy you? Are you familiar with your sexual desires so that you can? Talk with him, experiment with him and encourage him. Anyone can learn to do sex well. It's not only some magic trick for donks. (heck many well endowed guys just thrust and pump anyway.) Link to post Share on other sites
julie1971 Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 it all depends...and ill be honest with you becuz i did it recently and though my husband and i have been married less than a year - we've been together for about four..and i love him more than anything. we are also in a rut. just same old thing all the time...difference between you and me is...my husband is a great lover...he does many things that i ask for that are very kinky.... my problem was that he stopped being "in the mood" so much and was just content with our relationship with very little sex....even when he gave it to me...it was like a chore...and im at my sexual peak so it was hard for me. not that that's any excuse. but i hated him for not loving it...if that makes any sense... so i did it with a friend that came back into my life recently. it was amazing... but afterwards...i wanted to die. i cried so much that i had to leave work the next day and go home...it was wrenching..and i deserved it. now, though i will take this to my grave, i find myself trying to keep away from temptation becuz the sex "rut" still exists..but my husband is so good to me...i just cant do it again..i dont think.... so really really think about it before you do it. was the sex with your husband mediocre from the start? then if you knew that going in ...and it didn't deter you from marrying him...then why now? think very hard before you do it...once it's done - there's no going back. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Originally posted by 2ndwife4now I have been married only a year, yet I find myself dreaming of having an affair. I love my husband but even on a good day the sex is mediocre, and I am frustrated. I have two sons and their father was let's say "blessed", and my husband isn't. In fact, other then his first wife, I am the only other person he has had sex with. He has very little experience. Help me ! Please help me make a sound decision, I love my husband and don't want to cheat, but it's getting to be a bit much. Old thread.. anyway can't say I feel too sorry for ya. If being "blessed" with a big wang was a major point for you why'd you marry this guy? If you're gonna be a size queen, why hitch yourself to wee willy? Perhaps if you helped him, actually taught him things you like? If you really love him then work on that part of your relationship. Sounds like he hasn't has a good education in the subject and most guys aren't mind readers. Link to post Share on other sites
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