I want it all:(

[pinky]

well I'm one of those who does want the cake and to eat it too, cant help it, ive been married for what i think is a long stable time now, to the person i knew i would be with for the rest of my life, we didnt just get married right off, even though we knew we were each other's "one" we got to know each other thoroughly before reeally getting married, all these years i never once looked at another guy and thought, hey i'd do him....not once, until recently....thing is nothing reeaally is wrong with my marriage, i love my husband, i love our life, i love everything about us, i just wanted THIS, i wanted this other guy, and i got him. At first it was consentual, but then it wasnt, and in my selfish mind i dont see why i should give it up, i know im horribly selfish, and before anyone asks, how would i feel if my husband did the same, i'll say, i would have no problem with it, and at first he didnt either but then he changed and decided he could never do "THAT" to me, thing is i dont want to give either up, i know i have to and obviously i may be crazy but im not stupid, i know i love my husband and giving up my life with him would not be worth what i may have with someone else, thing is im pretty sure i love the other guy as well, obviously not like i love my husband but i do love him, i've tried giving him up but it's to the point of not being able to stop thinking of one when im with the other, in my crazy head i can see us all living together, especially since neither one wants to give me up:( i'm soo confused somedays i just want to go far away by myself but as i said i dont want to give them up, they're both great guys, i mean these are ideal guys, sense of humors, honest, respectful, yet they can be the funny jerks women end up having crushes on, but when it gets down to it they're truly great guys, hardworking, will do anything for me, and they love me soo much, they seriosuly love me, im not sure how i ended up with two of them since i feel ive been such a horrible person to both of them, ive told them both how they should just give me up, mainly to the other guy, i feel this is unfair to him, and i dont want him to miss his chance at finding the person he's really supposed to be with while wasting time with me, but he wont give me up, ..i never thought it was possible to love two people, but now i wonder why not:( besides the fact that they'd probably both kill each other:(

[Arabess]

I have a friend who was in your situation and when her husband found out....it was devastating for the whole family. Her teenage kids, her in laws, their friends, her family.....EVERYONE knew. She was humiliated and felt like the biggest tramp in the world!!! She lost her home, her security, her self respect and the respect of the people she most loved. She almost committed suicide over it.

 

SOOOOOO.... really give this some thought....cause the end result can be a great big mess.