Things just aren't working out.

[Young Cardinal]

Aight, I suppose I'm going to sit down and try to type this out over the course of the night.. just so I don't leave all that much out. But to the introduction first.

 

I'm on the verge of 21, a resident of Canada and rather.. troubled when it comes to finding that certain someone else or hell, even friends that I don't retain from my high schooling. And the thing is.. I don't really have that big of a problem with this as I think I should. I just kind of want someone to share it with.

 

My last relationship was long distance and lasted over two years.. a rocky road. Her family was wealthy and didn't really like me all that much and we were half the country away.. amazing connection though, and despite her family she was really a great person. But then things just started breaking down; her personal problems changed her into someone I didn't want to know and eventually working in the family business changed her into a rather ruthless, bitchy person and although we still talk now and hold some kind of hope for getting something together.. I dunno if that will ever happen.

 

Meanwhile; every other time I've tried to start something up.. I've been rejected hardcore. My type of girl is simple but I dunno.. seems to me pretty rare. Red hair, athletic and independent. I suppose the best way to put it is a girl who has played hockey or rugby.. just was always my kind of thing I guess. Love it when girls are nerdy, open to talking a lot and hell.. even loners are fine by me. Don't know what that says about me or whether it's here nor there.. back to me.

 

I consider myself smart.. maybe not as book smart as I could be, I always hated maths and sciences. For the most part people like me, I never flat out give someone a reason not to if I can help it... there's one thing that I don't really hold in common with 90 percent of people my age though. I hate going out, I really hate it and the only way that I can enjoy it is if I get off my ass drunk. Take last weekend for example; I went over to a friends place, drank and played some video games and what not.. I had a pretty damn good time. Then we went out... I was actually kind of pumped for it and when we got there I paid my five, got a drink and then ended up walking home... all the way across the city because I was.. hmm, temporarily depressed I guess? Must be a combination of the alcohol, seeing happy couples around and knowing that even if I saw my girl walking around somewhere.. I'd never be able to really talk to her.

 

So that's where I find myself right now. Everyone's out doing something and I'm here... or maybe they're just doing the same thing as I am without the internet.. but blah.

 

That's all I can think of to say right now. I can elaborate on anything. I just don't want to blabber on anymore.

[WTRanger]

You are going to get rejected, it's a fact of life. If you like girls that play hockey, then I've got to guess that you like or have played hockey, right? So if you've played, do you score a goal every time your stick hits the puck or if you're a goalie, do you stop 100% of all shots ever shot on your goal?

 

You've got to stop the fear of rejection. I know that is easier said than done. Oh! Do I know that! I'll let you in on part of my process. A few years back after coming home from a deployment, I was out to the bars with some friends that I served with. There was this girl that was looking my way, but I was too nervous to say anything to her. My friend, literally, punched me and said, "Dude! I just saw you be absolutely fearless in some of the worst urban combat anyone has seen since Hue City. You never wavered on anything, even being on point and first through the door. Yet, you're scare to talk to a girl?"

 

That got me thinking. Before we went into that city, we all prepared ourselves to die. It's a fact. All you ask of God is that he makes it quick. Everyday you live, that's just a bonus life. That's how I started treating meeting random girls that I was interested in, prepare myself to get rejected outright. Because, it's going to happen. You cannot control that, well mostly cannot control that. If you act like a douche, you'll really increase your chances of rejection. But at it's base level, you cannot control who will reject you.

 

So start small with learning to talk to girls with no fear. When you are at the checkout, if there's a girl working it, make some small talk. Even if she's old enough to be your great-great-grandma. She's still a girl. Don't hold the line up, but get used to at least saying "hi".

 

Just understand, you are going to get rejected. If I go on 100 dates, I'll reject or be rejected at least 75 times. Then after the 2nd date, that number gets smaller and so on. Stop thinking so much about it, and just hitch up your jeans and go for it. After a while, you'll get tougher skin and rejections will just roll off of you.

 

Though, it must be said that if you make it past stage one that the specter of rejection doesn't leave. In fact, this girl I really like and started to get to know, things are falling apart with her and I. It sucks, it hurts, but it's part of life. Just like in hockey, if you miss a goal or let one get by you. Oh well. You'll get the next one.

 

Stay confident, chicks dig that.

[Young Cardinal]

Nice analogy, and yes I did play hockey.. in fact the latest failure that I spoke of was a girl who I played with a few years back. I get where you were going, but I was an extremly defensive defenseman who scored maybe.. one goal in his post junior-junior-junior career.

 

Haha, just kidding.. I totally get where you're coming from.

 

I don't consider myself as having a hard time talking to women, however when I'm out today.. I will most likely try my best with the whole talkin' thing. My problem is more in the vein of appealing to the opposite sex. And it's not like I'm horrible looking (at least I think or so I've been told) or that I'm terribly awkward (although I am a bit when out of my element).

 

At most time I understand the "if you try 100 times you have a chance each time" thing, at least most of the time. It's just that a chance for me comes less often than I'd expect and my will gets broken sometimes. Seems like I'm thinking that the person that's perfect for me is ALSO sitting at home on the weekends, and that we'll never have the chance to meet each other.