phin8181 Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 Well, I found this sight a couple of years ago after I went through a rough break-up and all of you guy's stories really helped me tremendously. I have recently gone through a very rough time with another break-up and am trying to keep my chin up..... My story, I'l try to keep it brief and not ramble.... I dated this woman for 16 months. She had a 5 year old child. I became very attached to the little girl and loved this woman very much. I proposed this past Christmas (which we had been together for a little over a year at that point). She accepted and were engaged till late April. We were right in the middle of buying a house when everything went crazy. We were both a bit stressed about the house as it can be a stressful experience. The week before we were suppose to close on the house she went to South Carolina to visit some family and friends (she had lived there for about a year when she was 17, she's 25 now) One of these friends was an ex-boyfreind, which I knew about. They talked and had remained friends through the years. He had recently been diagnosed with cancer and was going through a rough time. She left on a Tuesday stating how she would miss me, she couldn't wait to get back because we would be closing on the house, etc, etc. I went to Nashville that weekend to visit a friend. On my way back from Nashville that Sunday I get a text message that says "I want to move back to South Carolina". I was floored, just in shock! We exchanged our things through her sister.....I never even saw her again. Within 1 month she quit her job, abandoned her dog at my house, packed some of her and her daughter's clothes, some toys and moved to South Carolina and moved directly in with this ex-boyfriend and his father. I am just still having some trouble getting through this.....First off, I have a decent job, I own a home, I own a car.....I consider myself a responsible person (don't get me wrong I like a good party). I was left for a guy that was diagnosed with cancer (not a fault, it happens), is on probation for I have no idea, has no car, lives with his father, and has had substance abuse problems in his past, and probably in the present. I went NC within 2 days of her making this decision, I slipped up and sent one e-mail to her 3 weeks later to wish her the best and hoped everything worked out for her (she kicked me in the teeth, why in the hell do I wish everything works out for her? ...I know, I know). Her response to the e-mail was very inconsiderate and cruel.....I have not talked to her since. I think I'm dealing with a severely bashed ego and self-esteem. I also miss the little girl.....that's really rough.... It's been 3 and half months now....and it still hurts...I've been doing the counseling thing and exercising and it seems to help. They spent all their time at my house because she lived with her mother (she moved back in with her mom after her divorce)......so needless to say its hard to be at home. I've bought new carpet, new living room furniture, new paint....trying to make it "mine" again......I still haven't got to my spare bedroom which was the little girl's room. I still have to take down the glow in the dark stars that I let her put up......(the thought of even taking them down kills me)...... I want to get back out there and date.....but I don't want to do it too soon....if that makes sense... Thanks for listening and thanks for this forum...... Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 I've never dated anyone who had kids, but I can imagine that attachment makes it alot harder. But dude I'll tell you, you seem like a really straight up good guy. Most guys flee at the thought of dating a girl with kids. You've got a place, a job- more than we can say for some. So keep your chin up bro. I've dealt with it- it just feels like more and more piles on. You'll find someone who will help you piece everything together- and when you see their face you'll know you are theirs and vice versa. Hope all goes well. Share the good! -Brian Link to post Share on other sites
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