Porn

[fral945]

And considering that most porn is made up of a limited age group and look in women, of course women get insecure!

 

And I'm sure you know this from your many yrs of watching porn.

 

As a porn viewer for many years, I can tell you there is quite a variety out there in terms of age and looks. Key word being VARIETY. Looking at the same thing all the time gets old. Porn satisfies our desire for a variety of visual stimulation.

[Els]

Porn's the best!

 

I would've had a much less orgasm-filled teenagehood without it.

[Jersey Shortie]

And I'm sure you know this from your many yrs of watching porn.

 

As a porn viewer for many years, I can tell you there is quite a variety out there in terms of age and looks. Key word being VARIETY. Looking at the same thing all the time gets old. Porn satisfies our desire for a variety of visual stimulation.

 

I don't need to be a porn watcher for years to understand what it's about. While I am sure there are ages and other looks. The truth remains that the majority of it focuses on a limited type. And yes, when you add in the aspect of variety how can you not blame women for being insecure? You are basically tellign women they are replaceable and unimportant and sometimes men get just as much satisfaction apparently from the variety in porn that they can get as they do a real life partner. The fact is, men might be visually oriented but how is that a justification to spend your time pathetically in front of your computer waking it to girls who couldn't give a flying heck about you? I have much more respect for men that interact in the real world and spend their free time with family and hobbies then destressing infront of their computers with penis in hand. And to be honest, most women have more respect for men like that as well. Back in the day porn was all hush hush. Now they are actually proud of their ability to use it! As if it something a monkey couldn't do! It totally speaks of men's inablity to relate or respect women. On top of their inability to control themselves.

 

 

Yeah! There is no such thing as people that use moderation in their actions! I guess the fact that there is pornography of amateur couples who enjoy each other (and taping it), of women who are above 35 and have a realistic look, of written erotica, etc., etc., etc. doesn't really matter, right? It's so much easier to toss all of it and every man into one bucket, right? Makes the world a lot easier to deal with when everything's just black and white.

 

How many men do you think are watching above 35 year old realistic women have sex compared to 20 year old collage girls? Oh yeah but that's right! Lets expect women to be light years ahead of men and not be insecure while men make excuses in justifying their own weaknesses. Who cares if the women you said you loved bore yoru children and does your laundry and shopping. What matters is being able to see implanted 20 year olds. Again, because in most young men today, that is what is more important to them. Not reality. Not who women really are. But fake ideals and carictures of what women wished owmen were based on mens' own self insecurites. Instead of standing up for women, especially their own, they rather subcomb to their own desirse and self gratify themselvse above all else. How many times to we hear the excuse that "men are men" ANd thus everything to do is okay.

[Vet]

How many men do you think are watching above 35 year old realistic women have sex compared to 20 year old collage girls? Oh yeah but that's right! Lets expect women to be light years ahead of men and not be insecure while men make excuses in justifying their own weaknesses. Who cares if the women you said you loved bore yoru children and does your laundry and shopping. What matters is being able to see implanted 20 year olds. Again, because in most young men today, that is what is more important to them. Not reality. Not who women really are. But fake ideals and carictures of what women wished owmen were based on mens' own self insecurites. Instead of standing up for women, especially their own, they rather subcomb to their own desirse and self gratify themselvse above all else. How many times to we hear the excuse that "men are men" ANd thus everything to do is okay.

 

It's probably much, much more than you think and/or give credit to. Thanks for proving my point though; it is much easier to deal with the world in binary terms.

 

As an aside, you seem overly vitriolic and angry about this topic. Have you ever thought about why it angers you so much, or do you really care this much that there are men out there looking at naked women (who may or may not fit some ideal you have in your head)?

[utterer of lies]

role of porn

 

With one of my last gfs, I remember coming home sometimes and 'catching' her watching hardcore tentacle rape hentai (sick japanese cartoons). She didn't hide it or anything, or bother to turn it off when she heard me.

 

It was always a pleasant surprise. I don't like hentai myself, but it put her in the mood, and usually was the start of a great evening...

[utterer of lies]

And yes, when you add in the aspect of variety how can you not blame women for being insecure? You are basically tellign women they are replaceable and unimportant and sometimes men get just as much satisfaction apparently from the variety in porn that they can get as they do a real life partner.

 

Sexually, yes. This is true sometimes, even if you do not like the thought. But in an R, sex is just one part of many, and no sane man prefers porn to real sex.

 

The fact is, men might be visually oriented but how is that a justification to spend your time pathetically in front of your computer waking it to girls who couldn't give a flying heck about you? I have much more respect for men that interact in the real world and spend their free time with family and hobbies then destressing infront of their computers with penis in hand.

 

But that's not the alternative. The alternative is to seek variety in the real world. If the partner is ready for and happy in an open relationship, that's not a problem. A lot of people are not ready or willing for that, and need only go to the infidelity board here to see what happens then....

 

And to be honest, most women have more respect for men like that as well. Back in the day porn was all hush hush. Now they are actually proud of their ability to use it! As if it something a monkey couldn't do! It totally speaks of men's inablity to relate or respect women. On top of their inability to control themselves.

 

They, because sex is something dirty, something people should be a ashamed of, and not a natural part of human life that should be enjoyed and celebrated.

 

Ouch.

 

 

How many men do you think are watching above 35 year old realistic women have sex compared to 20 year old collage girls?

 

Google 'MILF'.

 

People have all kinds of preferences, fetishes, whatever. Who are you to judge them? As long as it's all happening between consenting adults, you have no say in the matter.

 

Oh yeah but that's right! Lets expect women to be light years ahead of men and not be insecure while men make excuses in justifying their own weaknesses.

 

Don't expect everyone to repress their sexuality just because you have problems with accepting yourself and cannot deal with your insecurities in an mature way.

 

Who cares if the women you said you loved bore yoru children and does your laundry and shopping. What matters is being able to see implanted 20 year olds. Again, because in most young men today, that is what is more important to them.

 

If your partner thinks porn actresses are more important than you, there is a problem. But the problem in this case is not porn, it's the lack of respect and love your partner has for you.

[missdependant]

With one of my last gfs, I remember coming home sometimes and 'catching' her watching hardcore tentacle rape hentai (sick japanese cartoons). She didn't hide it or anything, or bother to turn it off when she heard me.

 

It was always a pleasant surprise. I don't like hentai myself, but it put her in the mood, and usually was the start of a great evening...

 

 

I think hentai is hilarious, I'm sorry. I just do.

[Chubbi]

I think hentai is hilarious, I'm sorry. I just do.

 

 

The tentacle hentai is pretty funny when you think about it, but earlier I used to like it. I'm like Elswyth: I love porn- have been watching it for years. I wonder if that's the reason I don't have sex because I put my desires elsewhere?? Can porn misdirect desires?

[utterer of lies]

I think hentai is hilarious, I'm sorry. I just do.

 

I guess it's just a women's thing.

 

Just to clarify: I have no problem with hentai, or with watching it. It's just that I wouldn't watch it on my own...

[You'reasian]

Porn is there to fullfill men in a way that clearly real women can't. After all women can't remain 18 year old school girls forever. However, men will go their whole life wishing for just that. So they settle for real women and satsify themselves through porn. Where it makes men look like kings of the world in their minds. Although I think it makes both men and women look like drudges..

 

And not every guy's junk has rabbit ears, spins, vibrates and is 13" long with forearm thickness - the point is that, porn or non-partner sex, rather, gets people off.

 

Wanna get your guy off porn? Tackle his ass and molest him lol

 

Anyway, men spend more time then ever in history viewing porn. Is this really female insecurity or male insecurity with their own sexuality? But it's not like men are going to stop viewing porn. That's truely what is important to them. Not real life women who actually care for them. Many women have learned that sometimes its just not worth even tryign any more. Hence the reason men stop getting sex and women stop trying to meet unrealistic ideals. It's a sad time when a woman can get more comfort from a cupcake but it's also true that in today's world, that's just the case. the more porn men watch, the more apathetic they are to women, the more hardcore porn becomes..and the cycle continues deepening each second. The boys growing up today will be so entrenched in porn they probably don't even know what a real woman's body should be and are riddles with unrealistic ideals about what they want a woman's to be.

 

Sorry that you can't find a guy to comfort you the way you need to. If you want a guy whose sweet like a cupcake, don't expect him to be the Alpha protective type either - you can't have it both ways (except in Disney)

 

What kind of guys do you like, JS?

[Jersey Shortie]

It's probably much, much more than you think and/or give credit to. Thanks for proving my point though; it is much easier to deal with the world in binary terms.

 

As an aside, you seem overly vitriolic and angry about this topic. Have you ever thought about why it angers you so much, or do you really care this much that there are men out there looking at naked women (who may or may not fit some ideal you have in your head)?

 

If I seem overly vitriolic and angry on this subject it is because most men are overly insensitive and selfish when it comes to this subject. And yes, of coures I have thought about why it angers me. There is no one answer to that question. I hate that most of these women portray an unrealistic ideal that in reality, we see everyday more and more women trying to meet (breast implant thread anyone). I hate that MOST porn is pretty degrading to women and doesn't treat women like people. Apparently women are just a couple of holes and a cute face. And as a woman, it is distrubting to see the level and amount of time men today spend towards porn. And sadly, I think porn, and men's love for it does say something about how men think and feel about women in terms of respect or lack of. I also think it's hurtful that men sit there and proudly say they need variety but don't even for a second consider what that is saying to a woman. Women who would like to build a relationship with a man and be special to him when he is just all to eager to see the specialness of other women and take it advantage of it for his own pleasure. I think most people are unrealistic about how deep porn runs behind closed doors and I think more men do have issues with it then not but we all live behind a pretense that anything sexual is okay. That no self control is needed or that it's actually a good thing to say that "hey at least they aren;t cheating". As if the only two options men are capable of is banging other women or thinking and looking ast banging other women in movies or on screen.

[Jersey Shortie]

Sexually, yes. This is true sometimes, even if you do not like the thought. But in an R, sex is just one part of many, and no sane man prefers porn to real sex.

 

In the first part of you senstense you say that sometimes it's true and men get just as much satisfaction from porn as having real sex, and the the second part you say no man perfers porn to real sex. So what is it?

 

I have heard men say many times that no man perfers porn to real sex but I can't help but think that is something men tell themselves to make themselves feel better when the truth is they perfer both real sex and porn because they just can't be happy or respect the woman in their life. WHich goes back to variety and basically telling women they are **** that don't deserve monogomy in the face of his all important manilness. It's not men that pay this price. It's the women that actually care for the men that do.

 

 

But that's not the alternative. The alternative is to seek variety in the real world. If the partner is ready for and happy in an open relationship, that's not a problem

.

 

You seriously have to be kidding. So the only actions men are capable of is looking at porn and thinking and wishing they could sleep with other women or actually going out and doing it. It seems you have a very low opinion of men. And maybe that's the real problem here. Maybe we live in a point in history where women stopped making certain expectations for men and men stopped making them for themselves and now we live in the drudgery of the status que where we make lame jokes about the average joes no being able to use self control or actually do something more worth while and stress relieving.

 

They, because sex is something dirty, something people should be a ashamed of, and not a natural part of human life that should be enjoyed and celebrated.

 

Ouch.

 

Who said anything about not celebrating sexuality? I am sorry, celebrating sexuality isn't sitting infront of your computer downloading internet porn of some fake situation with fake women pretending they love everything the man is doing when any real woman knows that what those men are doing in the movies shows they don't have a first clue about how to turn a woman on or touch her. Natural seuxality isn't sitting infront of an electronic device "exploring". If you really want to celebrate sexuality, treat women like equals and really invovle them in your lives and don't look to porn to make you feel like you are now really celebrating sexuality.

 

Google 'MILF'.

 

People have all kinds of preferences, fetishes, whatever. Who are you to judge them? As long as it's all happening between consenting adults, you have no say in the matter.

 

I'm unclear even why you are arguing this. It has nothing to do with what I mentioned. Did I say there were not other kinds of porn or that people should look at what I say they should look at ? No. I didn't. What I did say that while there are other types out there the majority of things men are most likely looking at is of a avery limited type and age group of women. Then men wonder why women are insecure! Gee, could it be because you are saying thatoyu need variety and you need it in the form of an 18 year old school girl.

 

 

 

Don't expect everyone to repress their sexuality just because you have problems with accepting yourself and cannot deal with your insecurities in an mature way.

 

Again, what are you even talking about? Why do you make the assumption that because I don't agree with porn that I have a repressed sexuality? Isnt' that pretty limiting of you yourself? I never once told a man he could or couldn't look at porn. YOu don't know how I conduct myself in relationships and you are no authority on my ability to deal maturely with this issue.

 

 

 

If your partner thinks porn actresses are more important than you, there is a problem. But the problem in this case is not porn, it's the lack of respect and love your partner has for you.

 

Again, what are oyu even talking about? I mean did you read anything posted?????? I didn't say that a man thought porn actresses where more important. I do think men hold porn very close toa level of important. Women come here all the time struggling with the issue and time and time again men are quick to defend the porn and quick to berate the real woman. That sends a big message right there about what is really important to men.

[Jersey Shortie]

And not every guy's junk has rabbit ears, spins, vibrates and is 13" long with forearm thickness - the point is that, porn or non-partner sex, rather, gets people off.

 

 

Well I don't even own anything like you mentioned because I want the real thing.

 

 

Wanna get your guy off porn? Tackle his ass and molest him lol

 

Why is it my responsiblity to get "my" guy off porn? Are men inable to do this themselves? Sorry but I dislike the mentality that you make it rest on the woman's shouldesr and give men no responsiblity. If he wants his ass tackle and molested then maybe he should put the porn down..Oh sorry, right. Right next to food and shelter men need porn to survive.

 

What kind of guys do you like, JS?

 

The kind that really want to respect women and rather engage in real life then spend half of it trying to escape it through movies with naked women.

[Gamine]

Well I don't even own anything like you mentioned because I want the real thing.

 

 

 

 

Why is it my responsiblity to get "my" guy off porn? Are men inable to do this themselves? Sorry but I dislike the mentality that you make it rest on the woman's shouldesr and give men no responsiblity. If he wants his ass tackle and molested then maybe he should put the porn down..Oh sorry, right. Right next to food and shelter men need porn to survive.

 

 

 

The kind that really want to respect women and rather engage in real life then spend half of it trying to escape it through movies with naked women.

 

I'm here to support my homegirl (I'm also a Jersey girl) on this issue.

 

Bottom line? There are a great many women who have utter contempt and anger for men who use women for sport.

 

Dudes who have sexual relations (fantasy, mental, manual) with a 2d image or need a 2d image to warm up in preparation to be with a real woman have to seriously reflect on their sexual wiring. I'd be sick to my stomach knowing that my fella had to look at another woman naked and/or having sex with some guy/girls in order to 'stomach' having the real thing. For me there could not be a bigger turn off if he tried.

 

It is voyeurism plain and simple. Unless there is some magical way a man's penis can jump though the screen and actual have sex with the on screen vixens he isn't experiencing sexual variety. He's watching other people have sex... that doesn't constitute having a new sexual partner yourself... therefore it isn't sexual variety. It is make believe mental sex and voyeurism. It isn't sex and doesn't have anything to do with actual sex. It cannot be gratifying or satisfying... because if it were... it would not be 'needed' so often.

 

There are women all over LS who post on the devastation of porn in their relationships and how it utterly destroys the way they feel about the man in their life. Certainly, there are females that are ambivalent, and there are those who are into it. But there are those women who view it as the antidote to female viagra. Most women in this camp see it as a sign of sexual weakness... not prowess.

 

If my fella has to make believe he is having sex with someone else to get turned onto me... well, I'd rather not have him at all and find a man who can be turned on by me.

 

I believe that a married couple who decide on monogamy should stick with monogamy and not delude themselves into believing that 'pretending', lusting after another woman, etc... isn't compromising that. Nothing, in fact, could be further from the truth.

 

I am not a fan of sex as sport.

[You'reasian]

Well I don't even own anything like you mentioned because I want the real thing.

 

Why is it my responsiblity to get "my" guy off porn? Are men inable to do this themselves? Sorry but I dislike the mentality that you make it rest on the woman's shouldesr and give men no responsiblity. If he wants his ass tackle and molested then maybe he should put the porn down..Oh sorry, right. Right next to food and shelter men need porn to survive. .

 

Porn is your problem; not a guys. Its bad that guys are picking porn rather than you - I don't know what to make of that?

 

Most guys prefer the real thing over porn - but when games are involved, it makes porn a more attractive alternative. So, keep rejecting the dudes that approach you and then blame them again for ditching you and looking at porn.

 

The kind that really want to respect women and rather engage in real life then spend half of it trying to escape it through movies with naked women.

 

Do you respect men? Because respect is a give and take thing. You can demand respect but if you give none - you aint' gettin none.

[LovedByHim]

I'm insecure as all hell, but I don't mind that my boyfriend watches porn. He is in a camp up north working in the oilfield and there is a reason they give those poor boys the porn channel in their rooms. They aren't getting any tail, they work long and hard days and they are away from their women! Gotta try to appease those boys somehow!

 

I'm not pleased with the thought of my boyfriend looking at other women. He's sometimes went to the peelers too which tugs a bit on my jealousy strings, but he is my man and I am his woman and I trust him completely. I don't think I'm the most attractive of women but he sure seems to think so.

 

Anyways, back to topic...

 

Porn makes men randy as all hell. After 15 days of him working like a dog up north, it really, really does not make a damned difference if he wanked off to porn the night before. At least I wouldn't notice a difference *ahem*

 

If he turned me down to watch some porn then yes, I'd be a little miffed. But do I care that my man is getting a bit of satisfaction from sex tapes? Not a bit. Maybe I'm just weird.

 

Don't worry so much, ladies.

[utterer of lies]

In the first part of you senstense you say that sometimes it's true and men get just as much satisfaction from porn as having real sex, and the the second part you say no man perfers porn to real sex. So what is it?

 

Sex is better than porn, obviously. But the urge vanishes after both, for a while.

 

I have heard men say many times that no man perfers porn to real sex but I can't help but think that is something men tell themselves to make themselves feel better when the truth is they perfer both real sex and porn because they just can't be happy or respect the woman in their life.

 

You mix up different issues. Respect for your partner has nothing to do with porn.

 

The one exception I can see might be if on the partners strongly objects to porn, but the other still continues to use it. But this implies a host of other problems which have nothing to do with porn itself.

 

WHich goes back to variety and basically telling women they are **** that don't deserve monogomy in the face of his all important manilness. It's not men that pay this price. It's the women that actually care for the men that do.

 

'deserve monogamy'? Where does this come from? Some people regardless of gender are happier with monogamy, others are happier without.

 

You seriously have to be kidding. So the only actions men are capable of is looking at porn and thinking and wishing they could sleep with other women or actually going out and doing it. It seems you have a very low opinion of men. And maybe that's the real problem here. Maybe we live in a point in history where women stopped making certain expectations for men and men stopped making them for themselves and now we live in the drudgery of the status que where we make lame jokes about the average joes no being able to use self control or actually do something more worth while and stress relieving.

 

The topic was sexual variety. You always go off on some tangent and end with your insecurities. Please explain how to get sexual variety with 'something more worthwhile and stress-relieving' than sex?

 

Natural seuxality isn't sitting infront of an electronic device "exploring". If you really want to celebrate sexuality, treat women like equals and really invovle them in your lives and don't look to porn to make you feel like you are now really celebrating sexuality.

 

Again, what does treating women as equals and involving them in life have to do with porn? That's two separate issues.

 

It seems to me you had a bad partner that treated you like **** and watched porn, and now you project all his issues with respecting you, treating you right and the sex you had onto porn.

 

I'm unclear even why you are arguing this. It has nothing to do with what I mentioned. Did I say there were not other kinds of porn or that people should look at what I say they should look at ? No. I didn't. What I did say that while there are other types out there the majority of things men are most likely looking at is of a avery limited type and age group of women. Then men wonder why women are insecure! Gee, could it be because you are saying thatoyu need variety and you need it in the form of an 18 year old school girl.

 

You clearly have issues with your age and self-image that eclipse any reasonable opinion you might have on porn.

 

It is not surprising in the least that women who have a sense of self-worth and are happy with themselves have no issues with porn, while girls who are insecure and have heaps of complexes blame porn for all the evil in the world.

 

 

Again, what are you even talking about? Why do you make the assumption that because I don't agree with porn that I have a repressed sexuality? Isnt' that pretty limiting of you yourself? I never once told a man he could or couldn't look at porn. YOu don't know how I conduct myself in relationships and you are no authority on my ability to deal maturely with this issue.

 

Exactly, I can only read what you write, and the image you send out is pretty clear.

 

Again, what are oyu even talking about? I mean did you read anything posted??????

 

Better than you, it seems.

 

I didn't say that a man thought porn actresses where more important. I do think men hold porn very close toa level of important. Women come here all the time struggling with the issue and time and time again men are quick to defend the porn and quick to berate the real woman. That sends a big message right there about what is really important to men.

 

You put yourself in the role of the absolute victim and then wonder why people treat you like one. But this is your choice.

[Gamine]

I'm insecure as all hell, but I don't mind that my boyfriend watches porn. He is in a camp up north working in the oilfield and there is a reason they give those poor boys the porn channel in their rooms. They aren't getting any tail, they work long and hard days and they are away from their women! Gotta try to appease those boys somehow!

 

I'm not pleased with the thought of my boyfriend looking at other women. He's sometimes went to the peelers too which tugs a bit on my jealousy strings, but he is my man and I am his woman and I trust him completely. I don't think I'm the most attractive of women but he sure seems to think so.

 

Anyways, back to topic...

 

Porn makes men randy as all hell. After 15 days of him working like a dog up north, it really, really does not make a damned difference if he wanked off to porn the night before. At least I wouldn't notice a difference *ahem*

 

If he turned me down to watch some porn then yes, I'd be a little miffed. But do I care that my man is getting a bit of satisfaction from sex tapes? Not a bit. Maybe I'm just weird.

 

Don't worry so much, ladies.

 

What would you do if your guy returned from his gig and sat in front of his computer taking care of himself watching the newest and latest porn? Told you how hot the women are and suggested you change your hair to look like one of them on the screen? Or bought you an outfit to wear that looked like one of his favorite porn girls? You go to bed... he's up for hours watching... you get up he's already at the computer.

 

Now how do you feel?

 

Just a question.

[Els]

Dudes who have sexual relations (fantasy, mental, manual) with a 2d image or need a 2d image to warm up in preparation to be with a real woman have to seriously reflect on their sexual wiring. I'd be sick to my stomach knowing that my fella had to look at another woman naked and/or having sex with some guy/girls in order to 'stomach' having the real thing. For me there could not be a bigger turn off if he tried.

 

This is a definite problem if he HAS to do it. C'mon now, you can't just look at the WORST that people can do with an object and use that to describe the object in its entirety. What about the people (not just dudes) who use porn to aid their masturbation when they aren't in relationships, or when their partner is away, or when their partner doesn't feel like having sex? What about people who watch porn together with their partner (porn which both parties enjoy) and then get it on together?

 

It is voyeurism plain and simple. Unless there is some magical way a man's penis can jump though the screen and actual have sex with the on screen vixens he isn't experiencing sexual variety. He's watching other people have sex... that doesn't constitute having a new sexual partner yourself... therefore it isn't sexual variety. It is make believe mental sex and voyeurism. It isn't sex and doesn't have anything to do with actual sex. It cannot be gratifying or satisfying... because if it were... it would not be 'needed' so often.

 

Those are all very good points... for the opposing party. Indeed if you don't view porn as a replacement for sex and nothing to do with real sex... it should be even less offensive to you and should not make you insecure when your partner uses it.

 

There are women all over LS who post on the devastation of porn in their relationships and how it utterly destroys the way they feel about the man in their life.

 

Would you say that any form of alcohol is all-around bad since there are many people who allow alcohol to destroy their relationship? It's about the user and not the object.

 

If my fella has to make believe he is having sex with someone else to get turned onto me... well, I'd rather not have him at all and find a man who can be turned on by me.

 

Yes yes this is a definite problem!! 'Enjoys porn' and 'needs porn to even attempt real sex' are two very different things!

 

I believe that a married couple who decide on monogamy should stick with monogamy and not delude themselves into believing that 'pretending', lusting after another woman, etc... isn't compromising that. Nothing, in fact, could be further from the truth.

 

I am not a fan of sex as sport.

 

First you said porn has nothing to do with actual sex, now you're saying that porn is the antithesis of monogamy and that it constitutes 'sex as sport'. Which is it?

[Els]

You go to bed... he's up for hours watching... you get up he's already at the computer.

 

Now how do you feel?

 

Just a question.

 

Again with the extremes. This is a definite problem as well... NOBODY would say it wasn't a problem for someone to spend HOURS a day watching porn. Geez.

[Gamine]

This is a definite problem if he HAS to do it. C'mon now, you can't just look at the WORST that people can do with an object and use that to describe the object in its entirety. What about the people (not just dudes) who use porn to aid their masturbation when they aren't in relationships, or when their partner is away, or when their partner doesn't feel like having sex? What about people who watch porn together with their partner (porn which both parties enjoy) and then get it on together?

 

 

 

Those are all very good points... for the opposing party. Indeed if you don't view porn as a replacement for sex and nothing to do with real sex... it should be even less offensive to you and should not make you insecure when your partner uses it.

 

 

 

Would you say that any form of alcohol is all-around bad since there are many people who allow alcohol to destroy their relationship? It's about the user and not the object.

 

 

 

Yes yes this is a definite problem!! 'Enjoys porn' and 'needs porn to even attempt real sex' are two very different things!

 

 

 

First you said porn has nothing to do with actual sex, now you're saying that porn is the antithesis of monogamy and that it constitutes 'sex as sport'. Which is it?

 

 

Monogamy is monogamy. People can examine virtually every aspect of the human existence and arrive at 'acceptable degrees of anything. Including monogamy.

 

If my guy watches porn repeatedly and has sex with these women 'virtually' is he monogamous? Really monogamous. Monogamous in the most real way a person can be? Or is monogamy just a technicality in this case?

 

Sex as sport... I'd have more respect for a guy who played the field than who played with himself. A real woman.

 

As for the various issues I've cited, they apply in unison or separately depending upon the situation. If a guy isn't committed then obviously monogamy is not an issue, but sex for sport... objectifying men and/or women... as sex toys is a problem. A guy who uses porn as a substitution for finding a real woman and engaging his senses is using porn as an escapism.

 

There is a highly addictive nature to porn and studies show that it escalates... and can warp guys minds. I'm talking about porn... not Playboy.

[Els]

You didn't answer any of my questions. Maybe I'll need to repeat them.

 

What about the people (not just dudes) who use porn to aid their masturbation when they aren't in relationships, or when their partner is away, or when their partner doesn't feel like having sex? What about people who watch porn together with their partner (porn which both parties enjoy) and then get it on together?

 

Would you say that any form of alcohol is all-around bad since there are many people who allow alcohol to destroy their relationship?

 

Just to make sure of your views before I answer you only to have you contradict.

 

I've gotta say, wow, you prefer that your guy go around sleeping with other women, as per 'I'd have more respect for a guy who played the field than who played with himself.'?? Your guy must be immensely lucky then. Most of them try to restrict themselves to porn, but they definitely won't need to with you!

[LovedByHim]

What would you do if your guy returned from his gig and sat in front of his computer taking care of himself watching the newest and latest porn? Told you how hot the women are and suggested you change your hair to look like one of them on the screen? Or bought you an outfit to wear that looked like one of his favorite porn girls? You go to bed... he's up for hours watching... you get up he's already at the computer.

 

Now how do you feel?

 

Just a question.

 

That's completely different. If my man started telling me to be pretend to be someone I'm not for sexual gratification purposes, then of course I'd be pissed. It's a little beyond a hobby then but I think that you're really reaching here. That sounds really extreme and mind-gamish.

 

When I'm around, no. My man does not use porn. The thing is that if I was courageous enough to MAKE a tape with him, that would be his main source of smut. So I am considering

[Gamine]

You didn't answer any of my questions. Maybe I'll need to repeat them.

 

What about the people (not just dudes) who use porn to aid their masturbation when they aren't in relationships, or when their partner is away, or when their partner doesn't feel like having sex? What about people who watch porn together with their partner (porn which both parties enjoy) and then get it on together?

 

Would you say that any form of alcohol is all-around bad since there are many people who allow alcohol to destroy their relationship?

 

Just to make sure of your views before I answer you only to have you contradict.

 

I've gotta say, wow, you prefer that your guy go around sleeping with other women, as per 'I'd have more respect for a guy who played the field than who played with himself.'?? Your guy must be immensely lucky then. Most of them try to restrict themselves to porn, but they definitely won't need to with you!

 

I actually did answer your questions. Read the response and apply the statements to the situations you have cited.

 

It also goes without saying that I would be seriously pissed off if my guy used a 2d image as his alternate sex partner to me when I'm not 'available'. As for needing porn as a couple to get turned on? I think they'd better find another partner... someone who turns them on without a surrogate.

[Jersey Shortie]

Gamine:

Most women in this camp see it as a sign of sexual weakness... not prowess.

 

 

I think that is pretty key here. And should really be noted doubley or even tripley. Even if women don't mind the porn, or put up with it or don't like it. Not one woman thinks a man is better, stronger, deserving of more respect when he is sitting infront of his computer/tv/magazine pathetically working himself over for the girls in it. I mean that's just the plain truth. Porn is a huge weakness for men. And it makes men look weak. I think at the heart of that men do understand that and that is why they spend so much time trying to defend themselves in light-hearted joking ways about how "virile" they are and "sexual". So virile and sexual now means how many times you can spank it to an image of a woman? Geez, come on guys. Don't you want better for yourselves.

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You'reasian

Porn is your problem; not a guys. Its bad that guys are picking porn rather than you - I don't know what to make of that?

 

I don't remember saying that guys picked porn over me. Infact, I remeber saying that I think most men rather pick both the real woman and the porn. It's never a matter of men picking just porn. It's the fact that men choose to not use self-control and want it both ways. They don't really want to be committed to a woman. They want a woman that loves them sure, and real sex. But they also still want a variety of young pretty women on the side. As a woman, it plain sucks. It's like men don't give a crap about us.

 

I do remember being very clear about my issues with porn and my issues with how men engage with porn and view it. To say that porn is my problem and not men is completely ridiculous! If men didn't sell their souls for a couple naked boobs on screen, alot more women would be more willing to work harder with men and actually probably respect them more for it. Porn is the problem dude. And yes so are men. If you can't even admit to that, I have no idea what to tell you. That's kind of sad.

 

Most guys prefer the real thing over porn -

 

Do they? Or are so many men ingrained with technology that it's come to a point and time when men prefer to have both. Maybe men don't prefer the real thing all that much anymore. With porn being a billion dollar industry, that doesn't sound like men prefer the real thing. Perhaps men prefer having a warm body and woman that loves them and on the side having as many women as his imaganation can handle because maybe men today are incapable of really being happy with jsut themselves and their women. And that would turn around to male insecurity.

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LovedbyHim:

Don't worry so much, ladies.

 

Well LovedbyHim, I know you are trying to help but it doesn't really help to tell women for something to not bother them when it's clearly an issue that many women face. I reallyhate when people causually say that kind of stuff. It would be like me saying "Oh you SHOULD worry". I doubt that would make you turn around and say "oh hey you're right!"

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utterer of lies:

Sex is better than porn, obviously. But the urge vanishes after both, for a while.

 

Again, I repect. What you seem to be saying is that men need both porn and real sex to feel happy with themselves. I mean, am I the only one that sees something completely bleeped up in that.

 

 

You mix up different issues. Respect for your partner has nothing to do with porn.

 

The one exception I can see might be if on the partners strongly objects to porn, but the other still continues to use it. But this implies a host of other problems which have nothing to do with porn itself.

 

No I don't think I am mixing up different issues at all. If women had an industyr that refered to men in derogatory terms, exploited them, treated them like disposable objects, I doubt you would be saying that. But guess what? Women don't. Not to the extreme that men have through porn.

 

I don't think most men respect women today. And it's clear through the level of porn out there and how hopeless and demeaning it can be that it's pretty discouraging as a woman to see men, fathers, brothers, husbands sell out the respect of women jsut so they can see some t&A.

 

And I am sorry but how many men do just what you state? They either lie about their porn use or hide it and continue to use it behind their partners back. I mean that's about 70% of the male population right there.

 

 

The topic was sexual variety. You always go off on some tangent and end with your insecurities. Please explain how to get sexual variety with 'something more worthwhile and stress-relieving' than sex?

 

If a man wants sexual variety, don't get into a relationship claiming you care, love and respect your woman so much. That's rather unfair to her. And actually, there were no tangents. I'm sorry you are unable to understand the comments I posted. I think most other people will be able to. Please go back and re-read it if you are still struggling over understanding.

 

The insecurity comment was to obviously point out that of course women get insecure. Their man is telling them he needs variety in women to be happy and that she plain isn't good enough. If you need variety, that's fine! But dont get into a relationship and then turn around and snow your partner over telling them you need the exact opposite of what you just promised to do.

 

 

Would you say that any form of alcohol is all-around bad since there are many people who allow alcohol to destroy their relationship? It's about the user and not the object.

 

 

Again, what does treating women as equals and involving them in life have to do with porn? That's two separate issues.

 

They really aren't. Porn is a huge reflection of men's desires. And since most porn is about treating women liek they are worthless, I think it's fairly obvious the connection that is made here. How can men that are husbands, fathers and brothers turn around and say they respect women so much but in the closed doors to their rooms be watching women get called sluts and used as just a hole. Maybe this is a question men should be asking themselves.

 

It seems to me you had a bad partner that treated you like **** and watched porn, and now you project all his issues with respecting you, treating you right and the sex you had onto porn.

 

No, I just have my eyes open to the world around me and listen to other women and the issues they face on this subject.

 

 

You clearly have issues with your age and self-image that eclipse any reasonable opinion you might have on porn.

 

Right, you think I am so unreasonable and that's why you are wasting your time trying to prove poitns with me. Please don't be so insulting of yourself and of myself. I am perfectly rational here. As you are. Disagreement in opinions doesn't give you fair licenses to completely point my points down as nothing more then unreasonable.

 

And yes, I have some insecurities and self image issues. We all do. Don't perscute me just because I am more vocal about mine and forthright then you might be of yours. Ehen I was younger..oh about 18 or 19. I was quite happy with myself and just starting to really learn about guys. I was confident in my body even though I certainly didn't look like a model. As I got older, gained more experience and learned the kind of things men really wanted and thought were important, saw how much porn was a part of men's lives, I started to get insecure. there was a time when I first discovered men actually looked at porn that I spent somet time looking at it myself trying to undesrtand why men did. I didn't fit some idealized stereotype and still don't and never will. I didn't fit the model that apparently was what real men wanted. they didn't want loving wives with good hearts that wanted to build a life together. Men wanted 18 year old school girls that they could call four letter names. Don't sit there and berate women on "insecurtiies" when you don't have the first clue about the things women have to face DAILY when it comes to this crap. And it's not even something women can get away from! It's right there in their homes, under their nose. Women don't get a break from the world and all the preasures because men bring it right to them. Your home with a guy can't even be a safe haven.

 

It is not surprising in the least that women who have a sense of self-worth and are happy with themselves have no issues with porn, while girls who are insecure and have heaps of complexes blame porn for all the evil in the world.

 

It's not surprising that men feel so insecure with themselves they rather attack and put women do instead of undestanding how these insecurities can come about. It's not surprising that this billion dollar porn industry pretty much is built on every male insecurtiy and creates a false world where all men are studs and all pretty wome nwant to be with them. If you want to talk about insecurity, lets talk about it. Lets talk about male insecurity in their own sexuailty, ability to get women and please women. Because porn is riddled with a funny irony of both degrading to women to make men feel better and a false sense that al la man has to do is spread awomans legs and look at her to please her.

 

Exactly, I can only read what you write, and the image you send out is pretty clear.

 

Based on your own reasoning the only thing you should be able to base your opinion on is that I don't like porn. Because we never made one talk about my sexual prolictivities. If you base someone's image on their acceptance of porn, that's rather limiting yourself.

 

You put yourself in the role of the absolute victim and then wonder why people treat you like one. But this is your choice.

 

No, this has nothing to do with being a "victim". This is about being realistic about the state of affairs today with porn and men and women.