Porn

[LovedByHim]

Curious question here...

 

I don't watch much porn. Sometimes I do but it really doesn't do enough for me. I need the real thing.

 

But my "porn" comes in the form of words - of raunchy books and sex stories.

 

Is this a substitution as well? If my form of porn is simply good old smutty text, am I replacing him?

[Jersey Shortie]

It's a tough question. What do you read romance novels? I don't really think romance novels are anything equal to what porn is for variety of reasons. I would liken romance novels to video games for men. Both activities are predominately driven by one gender. Men don't masturbate to video games (at least not yet thank god but who knows what will happen ) and any woman I know doesn't masturbate to romance novels. There might be hot chicks in a video game or a hot man in a romance novel.

[Vet]

If I seem overly vitriolic and angry on this subject it is because most men are overly insensitive and selfish when it comes to this subject. And yes, of coures I have thought about why it angers me. There is no one answer to that question. I hate that most of these women portray an unrealistic ideal that in reality, we see everyday more and more women trying to meet (breast implant thread anyone). I hate that MOST porn is pretty degrading to women and doesn't treat women like people. Apparently women are just a couple of holes and a cute face. And as a woman, it is distrubting to see the level and amount of time men today spend towards porn. And sadly, I think porn, and men's love for it does say something about how men think and feel about women in terms of respect or lack of. I also think it's hurtful that men sit there and proudly say they need variety but don't even for a second consider what that is saying to a woman. Women who would like to build a relationship with a man and be special to him when he is just all to eager to see the specialness of other women and take it advantage of it for his own pleasure. I think most people are unrealistic about how deep porn runs behind closed doors and I think more men do have issues with it then not but we all live behind a pretense that anything sexual is okay. That no self control is needed or that it's actually a good thing to say that "hey at least they aren;t cheating". As if the only two options men are capable of is banging other women or thinking and looking ast banging other women in movies or on screen.

 

I don't want to keep adding to the dog pile on you, but it seems like your issue isn't with the pornography. Sure, you don't like it, and that is perfectly fine and understandable (for all the reasons you just mentioned). However, it doesn't sound like you're angry at the porn. It sounds like you're angry at men and you're focusing on the porn. I think I remember you saying that you had a guy that had a problem with it (correct me if I'm wrong), and I can understand feeling like porn has tainted the rest of the potential male prospects. Maybe I'm completely wet here.

 

It seems like you think that A) all men watch porn and B) porn is degrading to women, ergo C) all men degrade women. Is that a correct assumption? I know you'll stop me and say that you don't think it's ALL men, but be honest: you think those that don't are in the extreme vast majority, right?

 

To give you a personal anecdote: I view porn regularly, and without getting too detailed, I like the kind that doesn't features women who look like they just dropped out of high school, don't look like they're drug addled and abused, and don't look like they're enjoying it at all. Unfortunately for every party involved this is who it seems like the porn industry churns out. I think this is changing a lot though; people don't like this. I don't like feeling like I'm contributing to someone else's misery, and there are a lot of men just like me that agree with this.

 

However, I also fully realize what I'm doing is objectifying the people involved (men included in that because they're victims of this too--they're just a penis to "fill the holes and cute face" to use a crude phrase). I don't care about their needs, desires, and personal aspirations. They're just a couple of meatbags having sex. The reasons for why this is sexually arousing to me are so deeply entrenched in the patriarchal society that is the world we live in, which is the root of the problem that we're discussing.

 

Entire theses have been written on this, and we're all prisoners of the patriarchal society: no matter how hard I try, if I see a beautiful woman walking down the street, the first thought that pops into my head is not how great her personality is, and she made the decision to wear that pop-up bra and a face full of makeup because that's what she feels makes her worth something to our society, not the thoughts she has in her head. We both recognize this, and therefore we can both move past this to have a more meaningful relationship, but we're still stuck having to adhere to this behavior because this is the world we live in. I promise you that this will get better, and has. Our society is moving towards one that does not "otherize" women and includes them as equals. We are not there yet (and probably won't be in any of our lifetimes), but we will get there eventually.

 

I am a man that uses pornography. I am also a man that is married to a wonderful woman who is my equal in every facet of my life, who I treat with respect and empathy. We got together on physical attraction, but we stay together because we have a more meaningful relationship. She and I discuss this topic often, and she both knows I watch it and is also completely fine with it because she realizes that our libidos and schedules are not always compatible. She is also a pragmatic person that understands that men masturbate and to hold an expectation of me to only ever think of her when I do it is wholly unrealistic. She sees it as being totally divorced from our relationship, which it is. It doesn't effect our sex life in any regard (which is fantastic by the way).

 

In closing, I am not defending porn, because I think it's an unfortunate result of our society, but I am trying to get you to understand the other side and stop being so angry about this topic. I don't think it's worth your energy. There are a lot of guys out there that both view it and respect women; they aren't mutually exclusive.

[Vet]

It's a tough question. What do you read romance novels? I don't really think romance novels are anything equal to what porn is for variety of reasons. I would liken romance novels to video games for men. Both activities are predominately driven by one gender. Men don't masturbate to video games (at least not yet thank god but who knows what will happen ) and any woman I know doesn't masturbate to romance novels. There might be hot chicks in a video game or a hot man in a romance novel.

 

I've masturbated to erotica, and I guarantee you women do as well.

 

I have a feeling you would feel the exact same if your guy was watching pornography that was made up of completely computer generated (but very realistic) imagery. Is that a correct assumption?

[utterer of lies]

Again, I repect. What you seem to be saying is that men need both porn and real sex to feel happy with themselves. I mean, am I the only one that sees something completely bleeped up in that.

 

You fail in reading comprehension.

 

No I don't think I am mixing up different issues at all. If women had an industyr that refered to men in derogatory terms, exploited them, treated them like disposable objects, I doubt you would be saying that. But guess what? Women don't. Not to the extreme that men have through porn.

 

Yes, because men and women are treated completely different in porn. Make up your mind. Either both are objectified, or none.

 

 

I don't think most men respect women today.

 

That's exactly the point. YOU think it's like this, and this colors everything you see. It's the same as the jesus freaks seeing the hand of god in everything. You project your alleged male disrespect towards women everywhere.

 

And it's clear through the level of porn out there and how hopeless and demeaning it can be that it's pretty discouraging as a woman to see men, fathers, brothers, husbands sell out the respect of women jsut so they can see some t&A.

 

It's discouraging to you, because you project all these things into it. Men don't sell out respect for women except in your mind. Porn use is not correlated with respect or disrespect for women.

 

And I am sorry but how many men do just what you state? They either lie about their porn use or hide it and continue to use it behind their partners back. I mean that's about 70% of the male population right there.

 

If the men you chose in your life did lie and hide such things from you this says less about men and more about the type of men you chose.

 

If a man wants sexual variety, don't get into a relationship claiming you care, love and respect your woman so much. That's rather unfair to her.

 

Not everyone shares your old-fashioned, puritan views about sexual exclusivity. Care and love and respect can, but don't necessarily must include sexual exclusivity.

 

And actually, there were no tangents. I'm sorry you are unable to understand the comments I posted. I think most other people will be able to. Please go back and re-read it if you are still struggling over understanding.

 

Yeah, I'm just too dumb, it's not that you are so blinded by your preconceptions that you cannot even consider other opinions.

 

 

The insecurity comment was to obviously point out that of course women get insecure. Their man is telling them he needs variety in women to be happy and that she plain isn't good enough. If you need variety, that's fine! But dont get into a relationship and then turn around and snow your partner over telling them you need the exact opposite of what you just promised to do.

 

Why do you bring a break of trust or promises into this? Adults can talk about things and set boundaries what's ok and what's not ok in a relationship.

 

You cannot do this and you got hurt by dishonest men, but don't think everyone is like it.

 

They really aren't. Porn is a huge reflection of men's desires. And since most porn is about treating women liek they are worthless, I think it's fairly obvious the connection that is made here.How can men that are husbands, fathers and brothers turn around and say they respect women so much but in the closed doors to their rooms be watching women get called sluts and used as just a hole. Maybe this is a question men should be asking themselves.

 

Some porn shows men calling women sluts. Some porn shows a domina whipping a male slave. Everyone can choose what they like.

 

It might be hard to imagine to you, but some women want to be slapped during sex, and want to be called names. There's BDSM and other kinks, and it's far from only male fantasies that are being played out there.

 

Stop thinking everyone shares your puritan beliefs and attitudes towards sex.

 

And yes, I have some insecurities and self image issues. We all do. Don't perscute me just because I am more vocal about mine and forthright then you might be of yours.

 

That you have these insecurities is not where I see a problem. The problem is your failure to realize how much they shape the way you see the world, and how little you seem to be able to handle them in a mature way.

 

Ehen I was younger..oh about 18 or 19. I was quite happy with myself and just starting to really learn about guys. I was confident in my body even though I certainly didn't look like a model. As I got older, gained more experience and learned the kind of things men really wanted and thought were important, saw how much porn was a part of men's lives, I started to get insecure. there was a time when I first discovered men actually looked at porn that I spent somet time looking at it myself trying to undesrtand why men did. I didn't fit some idealized stereotype and still don't and never will. I didn't fit the model that apparently was what real men wanted. they didn't want loving wives with good hearts that wanted to build a life together. Men wanted 18 year old school girls that they could call four letter names. Don't sit there and berate women on "insecurtiies" when you don't have the first clue about the things women have to face DAILY when it comes to this crap. And it's not even something women can get away from! It's right there in their homes, under their nose. Women don't get a break from the world and all the preasures because men bring it right to them. Your home with a guy can't even be a safe haven.

 

You are such a victim. I really hope for you that you will realize this someday, and find a way out of this mentality.

 

And maybe you should broaden your horizon on porn a bit. There's not only the 'schoolgirl gets dominated by evil guy'-type of porn you seem to know.

 

 

Lets talk about male insecurity in their own sexuailty, ability to get women and please women. Because porn is riddled with a funny irony of both degrading to women to make men feel better and a false sense that al la man has to do is spread awomans legs and look at her to please her.

 

Ok, so your ex that treated you badly, didn't respect you also was a bad lover. Sad for you, but doesn't men everyone's like that.

 

No, this has nothing to do with being a "victim". This is about being realistic about the state of affairs today with porn and men and women.

 

It has ALL to do with you being a victim. Don't delude yourself, you are so entrenched in this mentality you don't even realize it anymore.

[missdependant]

In the first part of you senstense you say that sometimes it's true and men get just as much satisfaction from porn as having real sex, and the the second part you say no man perfers porn to real sex. So what is it?

 

 

He said "no SANE man prefers porn over real sex".

 

There you go again. Selective reading.

 

How did I know JS would turn this into another "porn is evil" thread...

[Gamine]

You fail in reading comprehension.

 

 

 

Yes, because men and women are treated completely different in porn. Make up your mind. Either both are objectified, or none.

 

 

 

That's exactly the point. YOU think it's like this, and this colors everything you see. It's the same as the jesus freaks seeing the hand of god in everything. You project your alleged male disrespect towards women everywhere.

 

 

 

It's discouraging to you, because you project all these things into it. Men don't sell out respect for women except in your mind. Porn use is not correlated with respect or disrespect for women.

 

 

 

If the men you chose in your life did lie and hide such things from you this says less about men and more about the type of men you chose.

 

 

 

Not everyone shares your old-fashioned, puritan views about sexual exclusivity. Care and love and respect can, but don't necessarily must include sexual exclusivity.

 

 

 

Yeah, I'm just too dumb, it's not that you are so blinded by your preconceptions that you cannot even consider other opinions.

 

 

 

 

Why do you bring a break of trust or promises into this? Adults can talk about things and set boundaries what's ok and what's not ok in a relationship.

 

You cannot do this and you got hurt by dishonest men, but don't think everyone is like it.

 

 

 

Some porn shows men calling women sluts. Some porn shows a domina whipping a male slave. Everyone can choose what they like.

 

It might be hard to imagine to you, but some women want to be slapped during sex, and want to be called names. There's BDSM and other kinks, and it's far from only male fantasies that are being played out there.

 

Stop thinking everyone shares your puritan beliefs and attitudes towards sex.

 

 

 

That you have these insecurities is not where I see a problem. The problem is your failure to realize how much they shape the way you see the world, and how little you seem to be able to handle them in a mature way.

 

 

 

You are such a victim. I really hope for you that you will realize this someday, and find a way out of this mentality.

 

And maybe you should broaden your horizon on porn a bit. There's not only the 'schoolgirl gets dominated by evil guy'-type of porn you seem to know.

 

 

 

 

Ok, so your ex that treated you badly, didn't respect you also was a bad lover. Sad for you, but doesn't men everyone's like that.

 

 

 

It has ALL to do with you being a victim. Don't delude yourself, you are so entrenched in this mentality you don't even realize it anymore.

 

 

Look, I don't know what your deal is but she (like me and everyone else on LS) comes to express THEIR POV. Don't use the cop out that she is projecting her issues on every single solitary man and woman in existence. Give me a break.

 

This is how she sees it and frankly I'm right there with her. I don't have self esteem issues. I just see it in the light I see it in. So does she. And you have your views.

 

And, BTW, that is the point of forums.

[Gamine]

Curious question here...

 

I don't watch much porn. Sometimes I do but it really doesn't do enough for me. I need the real thing.

 

But my "porn" comes in the form of words - of raunchy books and sex stories.

 

Is this a substitution as well? If my form of porn is simply good old smutty text, am I replacing him?

 

 

I personally come from the camp that sex isn't dirty. However I do wonder why it becomes more interesting to some when it is perceived as such.

[utterer of lies]

Look, I don't know what your deal is but she (like me and everyone else on LS) comes to express THEIR POV. Don't use the cop out that she is projecting her issues on every single solitary man and woman in existence. Give me a break.

 

It's not a cop-out, it's the only constant thing in her arguments.

 

This is how she sees it and frankly I'm right there with her. I don't have self esteem issues. I just see it in the light I see it in. So does she. And you have your views.

 

And, BTW, that is the point of forums.

 

It's annoying that her only point is that 'porn is evil because men are evil and like to disrespect and degrade 18-year-old schoolgirls', repeated ad nauseam, combined with a quasi-religious fervor and a obvious lack of self-knowledge.

 

If she doesn't want her insecurities to be part of the argument, she should not base her posts on that.

[utterer of lies]

 

How did I know JS would turn this into another "porn is evil" thread...

 

Oh, this is not the first time she does that?

 

Somehow I'm not surprised.

[Teslacoil]

Look, I don't know what your deal is but she (like me and everyone else on LS) comes to express THEIR POV. Don't use the cop out that she is projecting her issues on every single solitary man and woman in existence. Give me a break.

 

This is how she sees it and frankly I'm right there with her. I don't have self esteem issues. I just see it in the light I see it in. So does she. And you have your views.

 

And, BTW, that is the point of forums.

 

No one said you or Jersey aren't entitled to their POV. Mods aren't deleting your posts. Your POVs are simply being critiqued by others, and that's one of the reasons you/we post here in the first place, otherwise you'd just keep your opinions to yourself.

 

Utterer of Lies can be amusingly harsh sometimes though

 

Personally I agree with Vet on Jersey's anti-porn crusade. I don't think it's really about porn at all for you. You're just really insecure. You feel like real women can't compete with porn, and that real women shouldn't have to compete with porn. A man should be completely satisfied with the woman he has, put her up on a sexual pedestal and get sexual pleasure from no one or nothing else.

 

Sorry Jersey but it doesn't happen. Even if men AND women didn't have porn we'd still have imaginations and fantasies.

 

My girlfriend had sexual partners before me. I'm sure she had mind-blowing sexual experiences that didn't involve me. I'm not naive enough to think that she still doesn't think about those times occasionally. Maybe sometimes she thinks about those moments while we're in bed together! Does it bother me? No. Whatever she's doing is enhancing her enjoyment of the experience, and by extension, that enhances my enjoyment of the experience.

 

If I don't have any porn at all, and I create some imaginary woman in my mind to visualize me having sex with while I masturbate, am I not being monogamous to my partner?

 

What if I fantasize about a prior sexual experience with an ex-lover? Am I being untrue?

 

I think Jersey would say "yes" and that it was disgusting, degrading to women, and all sorts of things about how I shouldn't even need to masturbate if I'm in a committed relationship. I would challenge you to find any man in any relationship who doesn't at least occasionally masturbate, whether or not he's assisted by porn.

 

Porn is a tool of sexual fantasy. Being insecure and blasting porn because you feel like you're in competition with it is just like men being afraid of dildos and vibrators because they are replacement for our penises.

[Gamine]

It's not a cop-out, it's the only constant thing in her arguments.

 

 

 

It's annoying that her only point is that 'porn is evil because men are evil and like to disrespect and degrade 18-year-old schoolgirls', repeated ad nauseam, combined with a quasi-religious fervor and a obvious lack of self-knowledge.

 

If she doesn't want her insecurities to be part of the argument, she should not base her posts on that.

 

 

She obviously wanted to share her insecurities and did so in a very self revealing light which places her (at least in my mind) as being in touch with herself and her feelings. Simply because someone shares their vulnerabilities doesn't mean that it should be used as fodder for a put down.

 

And if the above, as you have stated, is her POV then so be it. She is entitled and you are entitled. I wonder why there's a need to bash.

 

So, JS turns every thread about porn into a porn is evil rant? Well, she's got company because here I am.

[thegoodlife]

I've never understood the men that talk about their need for a variety of visual stimuli. Is this actually a need? I'm a woman and although I do notice both attractive men and women, I've never felt an inner need to see those things and futhermore get off to them.

 

I'm not against porn though, I watch it from time to time and masturbate to it. It's fun, but definitely not something I need, or even have the desire to do very often.

[missdependant]

Look, I don't know what your deal is but she (like me and everyone else on LS) comes to express THEIR POV. Don't use the cop out that she is projecting her issues on every single solitary man and woman in existence. Give me a break.

 

This is how she sees it and frankly I'm right there with her. I don't have self esteem issues. I just see it in the light I see it in. So does she. And you have your views.

 

And, BTW, that is the point of forums.

 

JS takes over EVERY single thread that has anything to do with porn with her self-righteous "PORN IS EVIL! MEN WHO WATCH PORN ARE EVIL!!" (she doesn't comment on women who watch porn) opinions and views. She is obviously obsessed with porn herself, and actually she DOES project her issues on every single solitary man and woman in existence.. who happen to like porn.

 

The point of the forums is NOT to lurk around every single thread about a specific topic and then put people down for the things they enjoy or try and make people feel like crap about it.. but that is exactly what JS does.

[Gamine]

"You feel like real women can't compete with porn, and that real women shouldn't have to compete with porn. A man should be completely satisfied with the woman he has, put her up on a sexual pedestal and get sexual pleasure from no one or nothing else."

 

How on earth can/should an actual flesh and blood woman 'compete', as you put it, with a non responsive 2d image? The truth is that the 2d image doesn't compete with the viewer.

 

Not everyone is built for monogamy. But yes (to answer your question) once entering into a monogamous relationship a man should be 'happy with the woman he has' and not get sexual pleasure from other women. That's the point of monogamy. If you want to dumb it down, monogamy implies, absolutely that you don't get off with/from other people.

[Vet]

I've never understood the men that talk about their need for a variety of visual stimuli. Is this actually a need? I'm a woman and although I do notice both attractive men and women, I've never felt an inner need to see those things and futhermore get off to them.

 

I'm not against porn though, I watch it from time to time and masturbate to it. It's fun, but definitely not something I need, or even have the desire to do very often.

 

I would say that yes, for some (maybe even most) men, visual stimuli is a need, as in, they can not orgasm without seeing something, whether it be the partner they are having sex with or pornography. You may have never felt this need, but you also have a decidedly different sexuality.

[Gamine]

JS takes over EVERY single thread that has anything to do with porn with her self-righteous "PORN IS EVIL! MEN WHO WATCH PORN ARE EVIL!!" (she doesn't comment on women who watch porn) opinions and views. She is obviously obsessed with porn herself, and actually she DOES project her issues on every single solitary man and woman in existence.. who happen to like porn.

 

The point of the forums is NOT to lurk around every single thread about a specific topic and then put people down for the things they enjoy or try and make people feel like crap about it.. but that is exactly what JS does.

 

 

The OP was concerning POV's on porn. How is one lurking when volunteering their unpopular opinion?

 

As for my 2 cents concerning women using porn. Personally see it as voyeurism. Sex as a spectator sport. I don't see how watching other people doing it is a turn on when you are alone. It would be a wake up call for me to find someone.

 

Also, some men and women believe that sex isn't just about genitals so watching people in porn movies is almost like adults figuring out what their 'pee pee' does. I find it infantile.

[northstar1]

I enjoy porn in small doses.

 

I also enjoying having sex with my girlfriend. I would rather have sex with my girlfriend than watch porn. Who wouldn't?

 

I respect and value my girlfriend.

 

When I do not see her for a few days I will sometimes watch porn.

She knows this and doesn't care. She is secure in the fact that I am with her and knows that the porn is just a stimulus to get off.

 

Maybe I'm just weird.

[Vet]

That's the point of monogamy. If you want to dumb it down, monogamy implies, absolutely that you don't get off with/from other people.

 

The point of monogamy, in the strictest sense, is to not marry more than one person. It's taken on a different connotation to mean fidelity, but I don't think that connotation takes on the absolute definition that you don't get off from other people. Maybe it means that to you, but it definitely does not mean that to everyone.

[Teslacoil]

How on earth can/should an actual flesh and blood woman 'compete', as you put it, with a non responsive 2d image? The truth is that the 2d image doesn't compete with the viewer.

 

Not everyone is built for monogamy. But yes (to answer your question) once entering into a monogamous relationship a man should be 'happy with the woman he has' and not get sexual pleasure from other women. That's the point of monogamy. If you want to dumb it down, monogamy implies, absolutely that you don't get off with/from other people.

 

Gamine, you kind of missed my point.

 

You're don't have to compete with porn. Your perception that there is a competition going on in the first place is incorrect.

 

Men (and more generally people) fantasize. Porn is simply a tool for fantasy. You can't compete with someone's imagination, nor should you think you have to. Everyone uses their imagination to enhance their sex lives just like you use your imagination to enhance your pleasure from reading a book.

 

If porn didn't exist, men and women would still fantasize, and still masturbate. It's futile to think you need to compete with that, and it's futile to think that if your partner fantasizes about anything other than YOU, then your partner is not being loyal, faithful, or monogamous.

[Gamine]

Gamine, you kind of missed my point.

 

You're don't have to compete with porn. Your perception that there is a competition going on in the first place is incorrect.

 

Men (and more generally people) fantasize. Porn is simply a tool for fantasy. You can't compete with someone's imagination, nor should you think you have to. Everyone uses their imagination to enhance their sex lives just like you use your imagination to enhance your pleasure from reading a book.

 

If porn didn't exist, men and women would still fantasize, and still masturbate. It's futile to think you need to compete with that, and it's futile to think that if your partner fantasizes about anything other than YOU, then your partner is not being loyal, faithful, or monogamous.

 

You will note that I don't use the term 'compete' in my posts with the exception of an excerpt by another poster. As for me I don't compete. If a man sends me signals that I'm not his choice (yes, his only choice) I'm not interested. I've taken this stance since I was a teenager... trust me... my entire lifetime. I want something real and absolute or nothing at all. I don't discount the fact that men and women have imaginations, however if someone needs to take a vacation from me... maybe it should be a permanent one.

 

Just my POV and how I run my life. I am strictly a no porn zone woman... always have been... always will be.

 

And for me it isn't about competition or insecurity at all. I just think a whole lot of myself and don't fancy wasting my time with a man who would be equally happy chowing down on hamburger as he would filet mignon. Then just stick with hamburger.

[Gamine]

The point of monogamy, in the strictest sense, is to not marry more than one person. It's taken on a different connotation to mean fidelity, but I don't think that connotation takes on the absolute definition that you don't get off from other people. Maybe it means that to you, but it definitely does not mean that to everyone.

 

Actually, the word monogamy has its roots in Greek and means 'one'. And, by definition, applies unilaterally to married and unmarried as a descriptive term of fidelity. One to one.

[Vet]

Actually, the word monogamy has its roots in Greek and means 'one'. And, by definition, applies unilaterally to married and unmarried as a descriptive term of fidelity. One to one.

 

If you want to get etymological on me, mono comes from the Greek word monos for one or alone, and gamy from the Greek word gamos, which means marriage or union. It can definitely be attributed (and rightly so) to romantic or sexual relationships, but in its strictest sense it's one marriage. This is all moot though, because the point I was trying to make was that monogamy does not, as you put, absolutely mean that they don't get off from looking at or thinking about another person.

[Gamine]

If you want to get etymological on me, mono comes from the Greek word monos for one or alone, and gamy from the Greek word gamos, which means marriage or union. It can definitely be attributed (and rightly so) to romantic or sexual relationships, but in its strictest sense it's one marriage. This is all moot though, because the point I was trying to make was that monogamy does not, as you put, absolutely mean that they don't get off from looking at or thinking about another person.

 

If you get down to it one can interject 'grey areas' into every single aspect of human existence creating exceptions and variations from its absolute intent. Understood absolutely, in its strictest sense, monogamy implies one to one. If it morphs in the heart and mind to now imply that it is not to be defined, understood, or applied in an individual's life and said individual creates exceptions to include 2d women to exclusion of 3d flesh and blood women then it would seem that it is a 'variance' from the absolute. And becomes fair game for many other exceptions as the need arises.

 

In dealing with stripped down, hard truth... creating exceptions to any absolute is a 'compromise' we as human beings create to allow our free will to do as we please. Technicalities are funny things.

 

I stand behind my original statement... that porn isn't something that flesh and blood people (man or woman) competes with. I believe its fascination lies in that it doesn't compete with the viewer. And that is where the psychology fest begins.

[Vet]

If you get down to it one can interject 'grey areas' into every single aspect of human existence creating exceptions and variations from its absolute intent. Understood absolutely, in its strictest sense, monogamy implies one to one. If it morphs in the heart and mind to now imply that it is not to be defined, understood, or applied in an individual's life and said individual creates exceptions to include 2d women to exclusion of 3d flesh and blood women then it would seem that it is a 'variance' from the absolute. And becomes fair game for many other exceptions as the need arises.

 

In dealing with stripped down, hard truth... creating exceptions to any absolute is a 'compromise' we as human beings create to allow our free will to do as we please. Technicalities are funny things.

 

Sorry, I just don't buy your absolutism. You've extrapolated your stance from a definition we will work with ("one to one"), and while that extrapolation might be the way you live your life (and kudos to you for it), it's not the absolute truth you proclaim. One to one can be (and is) maintained when pornography is added to the picture. I actually find using pornography much more conducive to this than a person masturbating to a sexual fantasy of a coworker or someone they know in real life, and I hope you do too.

 

I'll ask you the same question I asked JerseyShortie, not because I wish to best you in any sort of verbal exchange, but I am genuinely curious. I know you expect your man not to look at pornography, but do you expect him to never have another sexual thought of another person? Would that be considered "cheating" to you? It seems like you have a very rigid definition of fidelity, one that would be very difficult for any person to live up to. Maybe I'm wrong though, and your only problem is with porn itself. If that's the case, would you have a problem with your man masturbating to erotica and written words? Would you have a problem with your man masturbating to cartoon pornography or even porn that was completely computer generated, but looked the exact same as the porn we have now?