bolso4 Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 During the next 14 days ....I'm moving to another state for grad school, been dealing with a rebound guy, preparing for the move, working a full time job..........................so i havent felt the loss of my 3 year boy friend (college sweetheart and we were our firsts), as much as I thought I should. (I loved him, ). Im just too busy! I really like the re-bound guy too so far. But im wondering, when Im done moving and settled..........will i eventually miss my first b-friend? Is there any way to avoid the grief part, or does it postpone itself no matter what you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Bleed Internal Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 During the next 14 days ....I'm moving to another state for grad school, been dealing with a rebound guy, preparing for the move, working a full time job..........................so i havent felt the loss of my 3 year boy friend (college sweetheart and we were our firsts), as much as I thought I should. (I loved him, ). Im just too busy! I really like the re-bound guy too so far. But im wondering, when Im done moving and settled..........will i eventually miss my first b-friend? Is there any way to avoid the grief part, or does it postpone itself no matter what you do? yes. after almost three weeks of being busy enough to ignore it, i had a moment to sit down and think about everything and it was a VERY difficult, painful moment. still recovering. Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Well each experiance is different I guess it depends on the person, most people will end up breaking down and it will be very painful and some accept what has happend and are ok. I just recently got out of a relationship of 3 years about 2 weeks ago and i'm doing great and i'm not all that busy, and when i'm at home and relaxing I feel fine as well, but i'm sure my situation is different then yours. Either way I hope everything works out for the best and I hope it wont be too difficult for you. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Did you break up with him, or he break up with you? Were you still in love with him when you broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bolso4 Posted August 6, 2009 Author Share Posted August 6, 2009 Did you break up with him, or he break up with you? Were you still in love with him when you broke up? It was mutual,...although I initiated it. we were both in a very tense point. Both of us are leaving to 2 different countries for grad school too.... But had I had 14 bfs before him, i guess it might not be a big deal. But he was my first, 3 years, and college sweetheart. I did love him when we broke up. Thing is i've always been a bit dominant of him ,and im trying not to show any emotion to him. Im even very happy dating my lifelong best friend at the moment. But I fear that the emotions will pop up , as soon as i finish moving away to Chicago....that i wont be thinking of my new -best friend- boyfriend.....but instead of him. Is this common? (if it were to happen?) Link to post Share on other sites
Author bolso4 Posted August 6, 2009 Author Share Posted August 6, 2009 Basically im so busy, that i dont miss him because im thinking of 6 different things 24/7, but im anxious and want to bypass the pain...........but just wondering if the pain is inevitable. Even if you postpone it for months. Link to post Share on other sites
smookie Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 How do you think you can get over something if you feel nothing? You say you love him however in your post I do not sence that one little bit ... What I sence is your excited and hyper at the same time your scared to feel anything for this guy ? One question.... How can you love something and not feel pain when it ends? How could you expect to bypass the emotional pain of the break up if you love him...ok sorry there is 2 questions ... I think that you get where I am coming from though. You will feel the saddness and the emptyness reguardless if you are busy or not... being busy is a distraction and thats it... One day i believe you will feel it.. Good Luck on this one Link to post Share on other sites
Beeotch Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 During the next 14 days ....I'm moving to another state for grad school, been dealing with a rebound guy, preparing for the move, working a full time job..........................so i havent felt the loss of my 3 year boy friend (college sweetheart and we were our firsts), as much as I thought I should. (I loved him, ). Im just too busy! I really like the re-bound guy too so far. But im wondering, when Im done moving and settled..........will i eventually miss my first b-friend? Is there any way to avoid the grief part, or does it postpone itself no matter what you do? You perhaps will come crashing down one day.... It is a normal process especially after 3 years to grieve over this relationship...unless you really did not care to begin with. My ex before this...we were in a different country after the unexpected dissolution of our relationship and I also had a lot doing and I vowed to make it not bother me. Vowed not to shed a tear or think about it. It worked for months until one night I climbed into bed and seriously out of nowhere I started bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwling over this relationship and I texted him saying how much I hated him and all this intense stuff...it surprised me. From that day forward I had to process the pain... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts