Now.. my letter to the wives...

[boldjack]

First off, Reg, I don't think about you at all, you are an irrelevance. Liz......you have so many admirers, among the butt-kisser brigade, I won't add to your ego. I would sometime like to have a real discussion with you, just to find out if your really as deluded as you appear. Your life is your life, you will do as you please. You may be the hottest thing north of the border, but you are by no means the most moral, or honest. Remember, I've BTDT.

[joybean72]

*clapping hands* "This is the thread that never ends...it just goes on and on my friends...." (All together now!)

[Lizzie60]

First off, Reg, I don't think about you at all, you are an irrelevance. Liz......you have so many admirers, among the butt-kisser brigade, I won't add to your ego. I would sometime like to have a real discussion with you, just to find out if your really as deluded as you appear. Your life is your life, you will do as you please. You may be the hottest thing north of the border, but you are by no means the most moral, or honest. Remember, I've BTDT.

 

Anything you want to know BJ.. I am an open book.. I have nothing to hide except any details that would give out my real identity..

 

I do not see myself as deluded as you say... I just can't understand people who do NOT understand people who are happy being single and free... Why is it that most people think that, unless you are in a loving relationship or married, you just can't be happy.. I honestly don't get it.

 

Moral.. what is moral when it comes to relationships.. I have never killed anyone or steal.. the fact that I sleep with MMs is immoral??? according to who?

 

Marriage is, IMO, a religous, stupid contract that makea everyone believe that two partners take ownership of each other for LIFE.. incredibly stupid IMO... no one owns anyone...

 

I don't 'steal' those guys.. they come to me.. PLUS.. I should add, I DON'T want them in my life for good.. so leaving their family for me is OUT of the question..

 

We even talk about their problems.. I often give them advices if they ask and if I can... because they ask me questions about their wives (because I'm a woman, I can relate)... they are not all jerks....

 

The guys I'm seeing are all professionals... good people... great fathers .. smart, good looking, respectful gentlemen... otherwise I wouldn't bother..

 

I can detect 'jerks' miles away.. because, for your information, I always meet them first for a coffee and sometimes more than once, before the 'arrangement' is done.. everything has to be clear between us... I am selective.. because I can...

 

So hope this help you to understand my point of view.

[AlektraClementine]

Alektra- this post is disturbing. First, don't ever speak for Lizzie. She can do that herself and pretty well. Second, keep your "probablies" and 'maybes' to yourself.

 

FYI, I've never seen anything less funny in my life. "Hahhahaha, look how offensive I'm being!! I'm hurting someone who's already been cut open. Look how funny it is that these people who lives have been destroyed! Ahahaha- let's all laugh at the stupid BS whose loves humiliated them. Oh, how funny their pain is!!"

 

No, I don't think it's funny at all. It's sickening. Lizzie is a lot of things, but I don't think she's sick like that. I wonder why YOU would think that is her reaction. Btw, I'm not an OW or a BS either so don't pull that bitter bullshoot explanation on me. I hope you're never as well, and if in the future you are in either position, I hope nobody laughs at you.

 

Am I hurting your feelings now? don't take it personal...

 

I don't post on either forum unless there's invitation. And your post kinda made me think wtf??

 

Wow. You certainly are taking it upon yourself to give me directives. Interesting.

 

Nope, still not hurting my feelings. Only people I love and care about have the ability to do so.

[sally4sara]

I think its pretty weird that the supposedly "boring" relationship folks seemed to have something better to do on a Friday night than to continue to kick kitty litter around a tired thread.......

[Lizzie60]

I think its pretty weird that the supposedly "boring" relationship folks seemed to have something better to do on a Friday night than to continue to kick kitty litter around a tired thread.......

 

I know.. they went to bed at 9..

[sally4sara]

I know.. they went to bed at 9..

 

If they did, it wasn't alone.

[Impudent Oyster]

.The fact is, that the letter is ridiculous. Lizzie knows this. She's probably getting a good chuckle right now knowing how many wifey panties are in wads right now.

 

I don't see a single wifey whose panties are in a wad...more than likely they're getting a good chuckle at Lizzie's expense.

[Lizzie60]

I don't see a single wifey whose panties are in a wad...more than likely they're getting a good chuckle at Lizzie's expense.

 

 

OMG.......

[Impudent Oyster]

I know.. they went to bed at 9..

 

We sure did. ;)

[Lizzie60]

I don't see a single wifey whose panties are in a wad...more than likely they're getting a good chuckle at Lizzie's expense.

 

 

... hilarious.. you're probably still entangled in them..

[Impudent Oyster]

... hilarious.. you're probably still entangled in them..

 

 

Not possible, I'm not wearing any.

[hopesndreams]

This letter is disturbing and whoever wrote this, or plagiarized it and called it their own, has diseased thoughts. I like to think that everyone has some good in them, regardless of what they have done, but this letter was written by someone that has no good in them whatsoever. To get a kick out of someone's pain is beyond words, but those that do it, hate themselves deep down, and it's all just a cover-up.

 

I believe all OW get obsessive about the wives and in turn think that wives are obsessed about them. Egotisical and sad, because it is so not true. The OW can be anyone, names don't matter, looks don't matter, the tricks they use to hang on to MM don't matter. All that matters is that the BW experiences unbearable pain and suffering and from the depths of her being she must overcome tragedy to go on with her life, with, or without the H that had caused her such agony. It takes a strong woman to forgive, an admirable woman, she not only forgives the H but the OW as well, and she knows she is the better person for it.

[Holding-On]

This letter is disturbing and whoever wrote this, or plagiarized it and called it their own, has diseased thoughts. I like to think that everyone has some good in them, regardless of what they have done, but this letter was written by someone that has no good in them whatsoever. To get a kick out of someone's pain is beyond words, but those that do it, hate themselves deep down, and it's all just a cover-up.

 

I believe all OW get obsessive about the wives and in turn think that wives are obsessed about them. Egotisical and sad, because it is so not true. The OW can be anyone, names don't matter, looks don't matter, the tricks they use to hang on to MM don't matter. All that matters is that the BW experiences unbearable pain and suffering and from the depths of her being she must overcome tragedy to go on with her life, with, or without the H that had caused her such agony. It takes a strong woman to forgive, an admirable woman, she not only forgives the H but the OW as well, and she knows she is the better person for it.

 

Hopes,

This letter is an over the top response to the letter posted in the Infidelity section. "the OW loves as she masturbates".

Mostly I am reading it as satirical. Actually I am reading both letters as farce whether their authors intended it or not.

[jj33]

Whats wrong that so many BSs need to lurk on the OW board and take offense at what is written here. Its not directed at you, its a board meant to support OW/OM and of course there are going to be things that upset you.

 

If Lizzie had posted this on the infidelity board it would have been provocative and inappropriate (not that such letters havent been posted on here by some BSs - as if we care.....)

 

But what is posted on this board is not sanitized to meet the sensitivities of BSs and is not written with them in mind.

 

yes BSs are free under the LS rules to post here but again this board isnt about you - get a life.

[Lizzie60]

Whats wrong that so many BSs need to lurk on the OW board and take offense at what is written here. Its not directed at you, its a board meant to support OW/OM and of course there are going to be things that upset you.

 

If Lizzie had posted this on the infidelity board it would have been provocative and inappropriate (not that such letters havent been posted on here by some BSs - as if we care.....)

 

But what is posted on this board is not sanitized to meet the sensitivities of BSs and is not written with them in mind.

 

yes BSs are free under the LS rules to post here but again this board isnt about you - get a life.

 

What I find odd.. and somewhat funny.. is that it is OK for the BS to post saracastic thread on the Infidelity forum.. cause, as they say.. it's THEIR forum.. and the OWs have no business there..

 

What's good for one should and HAVE to be good for the other.. it's only fair..

[jj33]

Thank you Lizzie. That was exactly my point. It would never occur to me to take offense to something posted on the infidelity thread, that is the BSs place to vent.

 

Sadly many of them are so obsessed with the aftermath of their WS's own infidelity they cant allow OW/OM who had NOTHING to do with their situation, to have their own place to vent, despite the title and purpose of the forum.

 

And so of course anything that is said on this board that suggests even remotely that a WS who doesnt leave his spouse might actually have loved the AP is very threatening to them. It blows a big hole in the cr*p so many of them have bought from their spouses.

 

Pathetic really that they cant separate their own situations and respect other people's right to vent their feelings. As a result I take so much of what they say with heaps of salt and am sometimes less kind in response to the garbage some (not all) of them post than I would be if I were posting on the infidelity boards.

 

And just to add posting by OWs is so unwelcome by some on the infidelity boards that I was giving someone very sound advice and she posted that she thought it was odd that OWs would post trying to help her, was it some sort of trap (talk about paranoid), now that is clearly not representative of many people, but it goes along with the mentality.

[SidLyon]

Whats wrong that so many BSs need to lurk on the OW board and take offense at what is written here. Its not directed at you, its a board meant to support OW/OM and of course there are going to be things that upset you.

 

If Lizzie had posted this on the infidelity board it would have been provocative and inappropriate (not that such letters havent been posted on here by some BSs - as if we care.....)

 

But what is posted on this board is not sanitized to meet the sensitivities of BSs and is not written with them in mind.

 

yes BSs are free under the LS rules to post here but again this board isnt about you - get a life.

 

I thought the OP was addressed to the wives jj - wasn't that the thread title (a letter to the wives or something similar)? Just as a letter on the Infidelity Board was addressed to OW.

 

I'm one of those that has no problems being on either board and don't give a flying f... who else is on the boards (trolls excepted). I prefer people to remain civil and not personally insulting although sometimes I fail at this myself. The straw men set up by so many posters and the ad hominems often annoy me - but it's just a forum and we are all anonymous - so, so what. I found the original letter so over the top that until now I've not commented.

 

Anyway I think the "keep off our board" is a tired old line that few pay attention to; but deliberately doing the "I've won the man" dance to deliberately hurt either the OW/BW is pretty low behaviour. As is the "he never really loved you" line (to the OW) and the "he doesn't really love you - he loves only me - but is staying for other reasons" line (to the BW).

 

As an aside - maybe it's worth starting a new thread (I dunno). This board is here to both offer support and discussion. With many "addictions" eg gambling, alcohol, cigarettes and other drugs, it is generally accepted that "no contact" is the only way to go. For OW/OM who are in toxic relationships then NC is probably right and there are many on this board willing to give out advice of this nature (ie to go NC). However others interpret "support" as meaning support on how to cope with being in an ongoing relationship with a MM/MW - definitely not so much going NC but either waiting for the MP to leave the marriage or at least coping with the A until it runs its course.

 

One thing I haven't figured out is whether NC is (as with many other addictions) the only way to deal with an A or whether there are other valid options. There is no obvious corollary with say alcohol (or is there?).

 

But possibly there are parallels with gambling - if a person had an unlimited supply of funds could they just gamble away forever and suffer no adverse consequences? Is this similar to the OW whose MM eventually leaves and they live together happily ever after?

 

S

[LucreziaBorgia]

The way I see it, the whole shebang is basically saying "my apple is better than your orange." No point in comparison. Two different things, ne'er to meet in the middle.

[Lizzie60]

One thing I haven't figured out is whether NC is (as with many other addictions) the only way to deal with an A or whether there are other valid options. There is no obvious corollary with say alcohol (or is there?).

 

I don't think that it's that simple.. each situation is different... Each addiction can lead to more addictions.. etc..

 

NC is NOT, IMO, always the best route.. just like drugs and alcohol.. you can't just stop overnight.. your system will go ballistic.. just like emotional addictions/dependency.. it's not always the best thing.. someone can just go nuts (depressed)... but I would say that, in most cases, an emotional addiction or a toxic relationship can ONLY be 'cured' with NC..

 

It's not easy.. and I don't think there is an 'generic' answer for everyone, every situations..

[Lizzie60]

The way I see it, the whole shebang is basically saying "my apple is better than your orange." No point in comparison. Two different things, ne'er to meet in the middle.

 

 

Hey LB.. you look good!!!

[tami-chan]

This letter is disturbing and whoever wrote this, or plagiarized it and called it their own, has diseased thoughts. I like to think that everyone has some good in them, regardless of what they have done, but this letter was written by someone that has no good in them whatsoever. To get a kick out of someone's pain is beyond words, but those that do it, hate themselves deep down, and it's all just a cover-up.

 

I believe all OW get obsessive about the wives and in turn think that wives are obsessed about them. Egotisical and sad, because it is so not true. The OW can be anyone, names don't matter, looks don't matter, the tricks they use to hang on to MM don't matter. All that matters is that the BW experiences unbearable pain and suffering and from the depths of her being she must overcome tragedy to go on with her life, with, or without the H that had caused her such agony. It takes a strong woman to forgive, an admirable woman, she not only forgives the H but the OW as well, and she knows she is the better person for it.

 

 

I am an xOW (for more than 4 years-2 years EA, then 2 years, EA/PA) I was never really interested about his wife (now ex-wife). The things I "know" of her were things he voluntarily mentioned to me in passing-so I do not know if that is "obsession". As a former BS (more than a decade before becoming an OW) I also was not interested in knowing about the OWs. All I ever wanted was for my h to make sure his OW(s) did not have access to me.

[Lizzie60]

I am an xOW (for more than 4 years-2 years EA, then 2 years, EA/PA) I was never really interested about his wife (now ex-wife). The things I "know" of her were things he voluntarily mentioned to me in passing-so I do not know if that is "obsession". As a former BS (more than a decade before becoming an OW) I also was not interested in knowing about the OWs. All I ever wanted was for my h to make sure his OW(s) did not have access to me.

 

I honestly think that the BS would be way more obsessed/intrigued with the OW than the other way around.. since the OW knows that the MM has a W.. and it didn't make a difference.. but when the BS finds out about the A.. she is curious about why he would go with another woman.. what she looks like.. where she works.. etc..

 

Maybe not all BS.. but I would say the vast majority..

[jj33]

I think the BS would like to THINK that the OW gets all obsessive about the wives.

 

Maybe some of the people who post do, but I would think the vast majority could care less, for all the reasons Lizzie stated. Its just not that interesting and its not what the affair is about. You typically know hes married.

 

Its just more of the myth that OWs are some pathetic species out to tear down a family - as if...

 

I think the majority of the posters who sound that way only do because of the cr*p the MMs feed them. But IRL, I have never known anyone in an A who was interested in knowing about or meeting the W.

 

Obviously it hurts the BS to think that they are that insignificant, but obviously its the case or the OP wouldnt be sleeping with their spouse.

[GreenEyedLady]

I have read plenty of stories that are in direct conflict with the statement that the W's dismiss the OW and could care less about her.

 

They check her Facebook, myspace, google her name, write her fake letters on the internet, wish bad things happen to her.

 

There are those that don't obsess, but one can look in the infidelity and even the Other Woman forum right here. How many rude letters and posts are directed straight at the OW? Just of late was the "Thank you Other Woman" post. Or the Other Woman loves like she masturbates (?). And countless others since I've become a member.

 

Why expend so much energy if she means nothing to them?

 

GEL