Lauriebell82 Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Ugh, this long engagement thing is getting to me. I really wish we would have been able to get married earlier but fiance's brother has school plans still on the weekends up until June. And unfortunately summer months go really fast for weddings so there weren't any left. I'm impatient I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 The wedding date will be here before you know it We still haven't set a date, or made up our minds about anything Enjoy being engaged, you only have a year to be a fiance. Why is the long engagement (I don't think it's so long) getting to you? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 What's on your mind, LB? Why are you frustrated? Back when he wouldn't propose, you believed you'd be happy just to get engaged. All you wanted was for him to propose. You longed for it every minute. Why the impatience now? Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Think a switch will go off on your wedding day and something in your relationship will change? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I swear I'm your polar opposite, LB! Six months have flown by for me, with only a year to go. It's getting spooky close. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I swear I'm your polar opposite, LB! Six months have flown by for me, with only a year to go. It's getting spooky close. Jeez I know the feeling. A year come and gone and less than 6 to go..... I think it is mostly due to being a floral designer; I don't want to plan anything! Can't we just do JOP in PJs? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Jeez I know the feeling. A year come and gone and less than 6 to go..... I think it is mostly due to being a floral designer; I don't want to plan anything! Can't we just do JOP in PJs? We're doing JOP (we call them Marriage Commissioners here) for the ceremony but in more formal attire due to the party reception afterwards. You haven't planned anything and you've got six months to go? Get moving!! Link to post Share on other sites
Maggs Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I think most engagements are traditionally one year anyway. And as I'm finding out, it's only because it takes that long to plan everything! You live with your fiance right, LB? IMO, there's going to be nothing different once you're married apart from another ring on your finger and a piece of paper saying you're married. I think you're pretty lucky actually! I'd like my engagement to be shorter too (it's 15 months) but that's because my fiance and I live about 3000 miles away, in 2 separate countries and getting married finally means we can be together again. We see each other 3...maybe 4 times a year if we're lucky. So we're doing our best to plan a wedding apart, and pay for his flights to come and see me throughout the year. Just enjoy the time to do things at a relaxed pace. Rather than rushing through it all. Plus you've got time to save more for it, rather than going into debt by doing it fast. There are up sides to more than a year engagement! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 I think most engagements are traditionally one year anyway. And as I'm finding out, it's only because it takes that long to plan everything! You live with your fiance right, LB? IMO, there's going to be nothing different once you're married apart from another ring on your finger and a piece of paper saying you're married. I think you're pretty lucky actually! I'd like my engagement to be shorter too (it's 15 months) but that's because my fiance and I live about 3000 miles away, in 2 separate countries and getting married finally means we can be together again. We see each other 3...maybe 4 times a year if we're lucky. So we're doing our best to plan a wedding apart, and pay for his flights to come and see me throughout the year. Just enjoy the time to do things at a relaxed pace. Rather than rushing through it all. Plus you've got time to save more for it, rather than going into debt by doing it fast. There are up sides to more than a year engagement! True. My mom said the same thing about us living together, it's not going to be any different a year from now then it is currently. We already booked the church and reception and now it's like too early to really plan anything else and I'm in "planning mode." It is only like a little over a year away now and I've heard it goes fast. I think Im most frustrated because we could have had an earlier date (May 1st, 2010) but his brother is graduating two weeks later and had stuff to do that weekend for school. The soonest date they had following that was September 18th, 2010. So it's like I was kind of backed into a corner. I realize that his brother is the best man and all but I still don't see why he couldn't have figured something out for that weekend being that it was like a year in advance. So maybe I'm just sour about that. Oh and the people on this site can atest to the fact that I'm not a "relaxed pace" kinda girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Don't be worried about the could-of's or the what others do kinda stuff.. Your guy loves you and wants to marry you.. you both set a date and the time is clicking off.. It will get here before you know it... The engagements that get too long are the ones that happen and they don't set a date and then 4-6 years later she looks back and figures out that he used the engagement as a bone to keep her around.. that isn't what is happening in your case.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 Don't be worried about the could-of's or the what others do kinda stuff.. Your guy loves you and wants to marry you.. you both set a date and the time is clicking off.. It will get here before you know it... The engagements that get too long are the ones that happen and they don't set a date and then 4-6 years later she looks back and figures out that he used the engagement as a bone to keep her around.. that isn't what is happening in your case.. You are right, I'm just getting anxious and excited and now we are at a hault with the planning. It will be worth it to get married at this place, as it is absolutely "jaw-dropping" beautiful. Another place just would not have been the same. It's just agonizing having to wait!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Teslacoil Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I think Im most frustrated because we could have had an earlier date (May 1st, 2010) but his brother is graduating two weeks later and had stuff to do that weekend for school. Man that sounds weird. He has school plans a year in advance 2 weeks before his graduation? What, is he going to be abroad or something? I hope it's a pretty big deal! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Take some yoga or meditation classes or something. Your whole quality of life would change if you could "live in the moment" and savor each moment rather than constantly looking forward to and anticipating your life. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Man that sounds weird. He has school plans a year in advance 2 weeks before his graduation? What, is he going to be abroad or something? I hope it's a pretty big deal! Maybe he'll still be studying for his final exams, or preparing final papers? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 Man that sounds weird. He has school plans a year in advance 2 weeks before his graduation? What, is he going to be abroad or something? I hope it's a pretty big deal! Yeah I guess their schedule is mapped out over the course of the upcoming year or something. I don't know what he has going on, some kind of concert or something (he goes to a music school) and the performance counts for like credits or something. I still think that he could have tried to work something out with his professors and ask if he could make up the work somehow because it is a year in advance. Maybe he'll still be studying for his final exams, or preparing final papers? I guess that too, I'm sure he could have taken off a Friday and Saturday for his brother's wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
MindoverMatter Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Yeah I guess their schedule is mapped out over the course of the upcoming year or something. I don't know what he has going on, some kind of concert or something (he goes to a music school) and the performance counts for like credits or something. I still think that he could have tried to work something out with his professors and ask if he could make up the work somehow because it is a year in advance.If he has to take part in the concert, meaning actively play there, then no, nothing could have been done to make up for it. They won't do another concert to suit his needs, and the credits as well as the exposure to an audience IS extremely important. I agree with norajane on the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
Jo78 Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Why shouldn't you plan? That doesn't mean that you have to book something right away, correct? Think about your honeymoon. Where do you guys want to go? Pick your bridesmaids and start searching for dresses that match you color scheme. Think about what you want to do for favors and out-of-town-guest welcome baskets. That kind of thing. Just make sure that this is not the only thing you ever talk about. Because that can just get a little annoying for your friends who are not planning a wedding right now and can't relate. Time will go by quicker than you know it. Enjoy just being engaged! Enjoy it while you still can! My coworker is getting married in less than a month and she is a nervous wreck! She even told me had she known what's involved in planning a wedding, she would have eloped. And she looooves planning, lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Keoki Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Back when he wouldn't propose, you believed you'd be happy just to get engaged. All you wanted was for him to propose. You longed for it every minute. Why the impatience now? Think a switch will go off on your wedding day and something in your relationship will change? What's the rush, LB? What does the difference of 4 months make, in terms of a life-long marriage? Your fiance's brother's participation in the wedding should be as important to you as it is to your fiance... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 What's the rush, LB? What does the difference of 4 months make, in terms of a life-long marriage? Your fiance's brother's participation in the wedding should be as important to you as it is to your fiance... That's exactly what my fiance said.And it IS important to me to that his brother participate in the wedding, I wouldn't have wanted to replace him or anything. I guess I'm just so excited that I don't want to wait! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Your whole quality of life would change if you could "live in the moment" and savor each moment rather than constantly looking forward to and anticipating your life. Oh LB, chill out! I know how you feel to be excited about getting married, but the wedding itself will be over so quickly your feet will barely touch the ground. All that planning and then in a flash poof!-its all over. The things that I loved before we got married I still love now- hanging out together, enjoying eachothers lives.. our wedding was less than a year ago and while it was a great day, it wasn't the pinnacle of our relationship. I am really excited about our baby arriving- BUT BUT BUT I am not in toooo much of a hurry. We only have two months left together as just a couple- and after we become parents, things will definitely change. relax and live in the now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 8, 2009 Author Share Posted August 8, 2009 Oh LB, chill out! I know how you feel to be excited about getting married, but the wedding itself will be over so quickly your feet will barely touch the ground. All that planning and then in a flash poof!-its all over. The things that I loved before we got married I still love now- hanging out together, enjoying eachothers lives.. our wedding was less than a year ago and while it was a great day, it wasn't the pinnacle of our relationship. I am really excited about our baby arriving- BUT BUT BUT I am not in toooo much of a hurry. We only have two months left together as just a couple- and after we become parents, things will definitely change. relax and live in the now. Oh wow, you are due soon! I'm trying to chill, it's so exciting though! But yeah I heard it goes fast. We have already been engaged for 3 months already! It def. doesn't seem that long. It will be worth the wait though, as our venue kicks butt!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Don't forget that you are living pretty much as you will be when you are married- so you should be enjoying that too! Link to post Share on other sites
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