RamiTia Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 I am standing on the edge with one of my male friends. I can tell he's into me, I'm just not sure if he would only want to be having sex or if he would be open to a relationship. I'm paranoid b/c he's a college age guy and I really buy into the stereotype. How can I tell if he only wants to have sex with me? Or what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 There's really no way to tell for sure what he wants. Sure, you can look for signs of respect and whether he treats people and you with kindness and generosity, or whether he's a selfish guy and treats people like they are there to be used. But, there are no guarantees. Except that pretty much every guy does want sex! Whether he wants more than that, only he knows for sure. All you can do is see how he treats you, and if you feel good about it, then do what feels comfortable to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Simple: don't have sex with him, just date. If all he wants is sex, the relationship won't last very long without it. If he dates you for a good few months and you develop an emotional connection, then you can consider sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Dolos Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Something else to consider is how long have you known him? Personally i would be far less likely to have sex with a girl I've been friends with for awhile and want nothing else. All that's going to do is complicate the friendship, especially if she wants more, and you seem to. If you haven't known each other long, then it could go either way. Best thing to do is what the person above me said, just date him and don't have sex until you feel comfortable doing it, if hes really into you he will wait, if he just wants sex he will move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RamiTia Posted August 7, 2009 Author Share Posted August 7, 2009 I know exactly what you mean, Dolos. We've been friends for a while, and when his gf broke up with him a couple months ago, I was one, if not the only, person that he contacted to talk about it. Ever since then, I knew that just hooking up with him was no longer an option. It's just difficult to judge when I haven't seen him around many other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
EddieN Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 This is coming from a college guy. Be honest with him when you start going out. Get intimate with him but stop him if he goes past the line you don't want to cross. Let him know that you are open to having sex but only after you feel comfortable (I've had some girls in the past tell me they don't have sex and that just made me run. I'm open for a relationship but sex is just as important!). Most importantly, don't lead him on. If you tell him you're open to having sex but are not ready for it and months and months go by without it, then you're not being honest with him. If he is into you then he will wait to a certain extent, but guys have sexual needs and no matter how much a guy likes a girl, if she's putting up a sexual barrier then he's going to be looking into other girls. There's no real way to know what his intentions are. Some guys can be deceptive and stick around a girl for a month or two, get in her pants a few times, and then distance himself. Other guys are not just in it for sex. I wouldn't mind just having sex, but I think a relationship would be more fulfilling for me. This is of course all speculation from me. I haven't had much experience with girls of of now. Link to post Share on other sites
Dolos Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I forgot to mention it in my first post, but I'm a college guy too, so that's where my pov is coming from. It seems like if he was willing to open up to you after his last gf broke up with him (And not many, if any, others) its not likely he just wants to have sex with you and nothing else. It could all be an elaborate deception, but that doesn't seem likely. If he wanted nothing but sex he could get it in significantly easier ways that don't involve mind ****ing a friend. I agree with the above poster too, just be honest. I too probably wouldn't date a girl who was waiting for sex until marriage, but i would wait to a certain extent for a girl i really liked. Link to post Share on other sites
Charles1978 Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Just about every friend of mine who is currently married... about 8 or so of them... met their wife in college. Get past the steriotype and go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
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