julia1978 Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Me and my boyfriend had a fast-moving intense relationship. I fell in love very quickly...and still love him very much. But...there are some red flags that have been raised. He has a drinking problem...and a temper problem. Sometimes he feels like throwing stuff or flipping people off just because he feels like it. A lot of the time, he is sweet and gentle...but in an instant, he can become very enraged and angry. I notice myself walking on eggshells around him and trying not to upset him. He has called me bitch, whore, stupid, and he has told me "F--- you" and flipped me off. Sometimes he belittles me...and I get angry at him, and somehow he twists it around that I can't "handle" his personality or that I'm too sensitive. He tells me that he is just joking when he calls me those names. He also has a great heart and spent 26 hours hand-carving a picture frame for me. He shows me a lot of love...but also shows me a lot of anger. I am the kind of person that tends to overthink things. He says he is joking when he calls me names...so it might be because I am too sensitive. But I think that maybe this is a form of abuse. Do you think my boyfriend may be abusive? Or am I just being sensitive? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Some questions for you: Have you asked him to make his jokes more funny? AND to stop calling you bad names? Is he planning to get help for the drinking problem? Does he ever throw stuff at you? Are you afraid he will? There's no reason you should "handle" his personality... if you enjoy being with him - good; if not - too bad for him I guess! my 2c, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Julia Many of the things he does are signs of abuse. People think abusers are all bad - not so else women wouldn't stay with them. They are as you describe; abusive but also good at times. However, the abuse outweighs the good - or should. He's bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyX Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 You could just as well be describing my X- husband. He has a Jekyl and Hyde personality....I doubt things will get better. You would be smart to get out of it now. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I remember an ex boyfriend being like that. He never really called me names but he kept on accusing me of cheating on him and he raised his voice at me at times for no reason. I also started to feel like he was controlling me and I remember walking on eggshells around him too. To stop him from raising his voice over nothing. When he starting yelling at me infront of my friends at my friend's 21st that was the last straw and I ended up dumping him. Her brother's gave him a couple of briuses too. That was a brithday she won't forget. What you are describing maybe emotional abuse. Hopefully he might be able to get help for his drinking and what other things maybe bothering him. Instead of taking it out on you. Link to post Share on other sites
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