confusion - episode II

[mal]

I have already posted here about my predicament once before and those who read that post would therefore be familiar with my situation. What I want people's opinions about is how long does it take love to wear off completely?? Is it a variable depending on the situation?? Or is it an absolute with time the only factor?? What is actually upsetting me is the fact that my former girlfriend has decided to get married to this guy only 3 ½ months after we broke up and after only 3 weeks of seeing him. I think that this post is mostly my ego that is hurting. I of course understand that people need to and do move on and some are more resilient than others, but to put out of mind completely someone that you swore undying love for in such a short time…… I think that I'm probably writing this for two reasons. one - that I just need to hear bad things about this girl to feel good and two - that I need to get this out of my system and to let some steam out so thanks for reading and if anyone has any comments, they'd be most welcome.

 

mal

[LT]

Sorry to break this news to ya...there is no set time for the pain wearing off. But the good news is that it will.

 

Some things that will help: 1) don't obsess or idealize your former sweetheart. 2) It's ok to be angry at her current actions, but recognize that her actions have nothing to do with her past with you. I.e., she's not marrying this guy to deliberately hurt you. But you are feeling hurt about it...and that's ok, just realize that's where the angers coming from... and 3) Realize that she was not right for you. Repeat this to yourself until you come to truly understand its validity. The simple fact is that if she didn't feel you were right for her then she was not the right person for you. 4) Lastly, there IS someone out there who will be perfect for you! Deal with the emotional dregs from this situation yourself so you'll be ready for it when it comes your way! )

 

LT

I have already posted here about my predicament once before and those who read that post would therefore be familiar with my situation. What I want people's opinions about is how long does it take love to wear off completely?? Is it a variable depending on the situation?? Or is it an absolute with time the only factor?? What is actually upsetting me is the fact that my former girlfriend has decided to get married to this guy only 3 ½ months after we broke up and after only 3 weeks of seeing him. I think that this post is mostly my ego that is hurting. I of course understand that people need to and do move on and some are more resilient than others, but to put out of mind completely someone that you swore undying love for in such a short time&& I think that I'm probably writing this for two reasons. one - that I just need to hear bad things about this girl to feel good and two - that I need to get this out of my system and to let some steam out so thanks for reading and if anyone has any comments, they'd be most welcome. mal

[Tony T]

It is not necessary to hear bad things about your ex to feel good. Wish her well.

 

Unfortunately, her relationship will be full of problems. She is obviously on the rebound. You should thank your lucky stars that this very confused, mentally chaotic young lady is no longer in your life.

 

The great thing is that you can go on with your life and find something great for yourself. There are no rules, parameters, or guidelines for just how long it will take you to heal from this. Just feel what you feel, go on with your life, and let time do its thing.

 

For your sake, don't obsess on what's happening in this lady's life. Don't try to keep up with her and don't judge her decisions. You can screw your mind to pieces doing that. Concentrate on yourself and doing things that make you happy. Never give any other human being the power to make you miserable.

 

There's even a chance she's getting married to this guy for no other reason than to hurt YOU. It may be a conscious or subconscious act of vengeance on her part. I urge you not to get sucked into it if that be the case.

 

Get yourself together, try to muster up a spirit of newness, freedom and adventure, and know that the best times of your life are just ahead of you.