confusedcookie Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 so i was wondering how it works? who calls back after a fight? or who initiates contact first? the person that was wrong? always the guy because... just because? what happens if both parties thought they were right? if the guy was wrong and the girl still called him back first, would you think less of her (like she did the "chasing") what do you guys think? my opinion before was that the guy should always call first regardless of whether the girl or guy was in the wrong..lol sometimes i would text him first and he would call me back... Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 so i was wondering how it works? who calls back after a fight? or who initiates contact first? the person that was wrong? always the guy because... just because? what happens if both parties thought they were right? if the guy was wrong and the girl still called him back first, would you think less of her (like she did the "chasing") what do you guys think? my opinion before was that the guy should always call first regardless of whether the girl or guy was in the wrong..lol sometimes i would text him first and he would call me back... If the guy was wrong, he should call. If the girl was wrong, SHE should call. Why on earth does the guy need to call if the girl was in the wrong? If a man has a problem with a girl calling after a fight when she was wrong, then that relationship is bogus anyhow. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I think the important question is what was the fight about. But obviously if the guy apologizes first he can expect makeup sex. Isn't that why they're always the first ones to say i'm sorry? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedcookie Posted August 8, 2009 Author Share Posted August 8, 2009 haha, just making sure... i don't know, i always thought that it was a little like the "who asks for the first date" thing, that the man wants to do it first or else they feel like "interested"? so what happens if both are stubborn and refuse to admit defeat? is that when you know that there's a problem? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 haha, just making sure... i don't know, i always thought that it was a little like the "who asks for the first date" thing, that the man wants to do it first or else they feel like "interested"? so what happens if both are stubborn and refuse to admit defeat? is that when you know that there's a problem? Depending on the subject of the fight, if you really want to win, then obviously you are foolish in wanting to end a (good) relationship because of your pride. What happen to compromise? And normall if one really cares about the relationship, it doesn't matter who started the fight, right? One would still call or text the SO to see how they're doing and wondering if they're still mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedcookie Posted August 8, 2009 Author Share Posted August 8, 2009 And normall if one really cares about the relationship, it doesn't matter who started the fight, right? One would still call or text the SO to see how they're doing and wondering if they're still mad. yes exactly, and i've always wondered who made the first contact or initiation? so taking that, it would mean that whoever cared more about the relationship would put their first step forward? for example, my bf use to always call first, and now he doesn't and he waits, and to me, i think it means that he cares less now? for me, i when like the roles are reversed, i care more, and i call him now first after a fight Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 yes exactly, and i've always wondered who made the first contact or initiation? so taking that, it would mean that whoever cared more about the relationship would put their first step forward? for example, my bf use to always call first, and now he doesn't and he waits, and to me, i think it means that he cares less now? for me, i when like the roles are reversed, i care more, and i call him now first after a fight well why do you think he waits instead of initiating? maybe you are the one at fault? Or is he too stubborn to just call? The way you put it, it seems the both of you do have some issues to work out. Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 the person that was wrong? Yeah that's how it works...:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I think it depends. If you want to be a doormat then I see problem calling first even though you were right. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Whoever needs the relationship more usually calls first... Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Whoever needs the relationship more usually calls first... That's another way to look at it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedcookie Posted August 8, 2009 Author Share Posted August 8, 2009 Whoever needs the relationship more usually calls first... that's what i'm worried, i can't even subjectively look at the issues anymore, first i feel like i'm right, then after a while, i feel like i overreacted, and maybe it is my fault, hence him not calling... Link to post Share on other sites
AlektraClementine Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 My fiance always calls first after fights. He's always the one in the wrong, though. Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 that's what i'm worried, i can't even subjectively look at the issues anymore, first i feel like i'm right, then after a while, i feel like i overreacted, and maybe it is my fault, hence him not calling... Stop looking at it as who is right or wrong, or who needs the relationship more than the other, or who cares more than other... that's a no win game, because it means someone is "more" than the other and the other is then by definition "less" than the other. Who initiates contact first doesn't have anything as to who was in the "wrong". It's more than likely that you are both partially responsible for the fight. It doesn't matter who initiates contact first or not, what matters is that someone, anyone, just iniates the contact to start the process of making up and ending the stalemate. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 If its a fight over something where its hard to tell who is in the wrong then I think the more mature person tries to make up first. If I get in a fight where there isn't a clear bad guy then if my gf starts saying sorry first I just say sorry right back to her and don't even think about if that meant she cared more or what ever. If some one is clearly in the wrong then I think it is that persons responsibility to make things right. The way you think about fights is a little one sided, you should focus more on why you are fighting then who calls to say sorry first Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 My fiance always calls first after fights. He's always the one in the wrong, though. :lmao::lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodlife Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I think it does depend on what the fight was about and not always just who was right vs. who was wrong because it's not always that black and white. Also, I think there should be some balance. You shouldn't always be the first one to call, and you also shouldn't always be the one to wait for the call. I used to be the one that called first, regardless. But it soon became a pattern and I ended up letting myself get walked all over a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
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