ferarri Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Woke up Monday morning to find my girlfriend of 2 years had left during the night, leaving a note saying sorry, not to contact her, mind made up. We had just moved into our flat 3 weeks ago, and things had been ok, no arguing at all, we had great sex twice on nite she left. So i call her she says she had grown up a lot in the two years since we met, i'm 33 her 22, she doesn't love me half as much as before, she thought our relationship going knowhere, and she wanted to be on her own. We split for a month back in may, then she came back to me saying it was the right thing as she missed and loved me, and then she does this unexpectedly, she's now back with her mum, and it's sure over as far as i can see, i can't really understand how she can up an go after 2 years in a loving relationship, with lots of travelling and doing so much together, is she totally heart less? i'm not going to stoop and beg but i thought i was worth more than that, what a way to leave! any idea what went thru her head? i can't think of how her love faded to this so unexpectdedly. Link to post Share on other sites
cliche_boy Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 perhapps u were dominant and never listened to a problem she had with you and when she did try to say something you would give her a vicious responce - making you unapproachable? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 That's a big leap, cliche. I think that feelings in relationships die slowly but people don't admit it at first, thinking the feelings might rekindle. Then, when it becomes obvious that the feelings are gone, the relationship ends. It seems as though it's sudden, but it never is. Link to post Share on other sites
cliche_boy Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 it was a suggestion, notice the question mark at the end. He asked us what "might" have caused it, we aint her, we cant say for sure, all we can do is speculate... which is what hes asking for. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled1 Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Originally posted by cliche_boy it was a suggestion, notice the question mark at the end. He asked us what "might" have caused it, we aint her, we cant say for sure, all we can do is speculate... which is what hes asking for. Well if he was so rotten and unapproachable, I would wonder why she took the step of moving in with him, and also having sex with him twice only a mere few hours before she rudely and heartlessly and cowardly ran out on him. If someone treats you so rotten and you're not happy with them, you generally don't live with them, nor do you want to be intimate with them just hours before you bail in the dark of the night. My thoughts are that she's young and selfish. I would have to wonder, too, why a 33 yr old man would want to be with a 22 yr old? A 22 yr old is still finding their own identity, still trying to figure out their place in the world, is nowhere ready to really settle down, is generally still in the "me me me" mode...having fun, going out with friends, not really wanting to be tied down yet. After 2 years together, if all she could do was check out on you, like she did, in the middle of the night, she isn't much of a human being. After 2 years together, she should have at least been able to respect you enough to sit down with you face to face to at least tell you she wasn't happy/wanted out. To screw you then sneak away, leaving nothing more than a note and instructions for you to leave her alone, that is not much of a human being.......surely not someone you want to waste any more of your time or heart or energy on. We'd expect more from our friends, let alone our partner. Link to post Share on other sites
cliche_boy Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 When people leave unexpectedly without warning it is in most cases because problems have built up in their heads and they havent talked about it. Usually caused by lack of communication, being too scared of the reaction. Im not talking about a loud yelling threating responce, just a discrediting responce without anything to argue or discuss, eg. interrupting with with "na, ya wrong" before they can finish, then silence. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Untrue. Some people won't communicate because they think there will be a 'discrediting response' as you put it. It takes courage - guts - BALLS - to be honest. Period. Maybe people grow up too sheletered and coddled and too afraid to deal with any sort of potential difficulty. I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
cliche_boy Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 huh? but thats exactly what i just said, take away the "un" bit of untrue and it would make more sence. Link to post Share on other sites
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