jay Posted May 27, 2000 Posted May 27, 2000 I am young, only 17, and very inexperienced in the dating department. I am how ever very certain something is wrong if my girlfriend feels it necessary to cheat in me. I don't know what I could have done wrong. I have tried my hardest to please her, even at my own expense. She is my first love, and even knowing that she likes someone else I am in great conflict. I still love her very much. I have thought about reverting back to friends, but when I touch her hand I can't help thinking how much I love her. I have told her to do what makes her happiest. I don't want to lose her! Please reply with any advise you(anyone reading this) might have for me. Thank you!
Tony T Posted May 27, 2000 Posted May 27, 2000 You are very lucky you can learn some things about love while you are young...and if you are an excellent student, you can avoid many of the problems others face. First, your ex, yes EX, is very young, immature, and fickle and will probably fall for dozens of guys before she is able to settle into a stable committment. At her age, she really has no need for a long term situation and neither do you, really, unless you make the choice with someone who feels the same way. Second, people tend to treat us the way we permit them to. If you allow this girl to go around with other guys and take her back with open arms each time, she will have absolutely NO respect for you whatsoever. She will also brag to her girlfriends how she is able to walk all over you and about what a wimp you are. Your reputation among the girls will be that of a guy they can crush and stomp on at will. Girls like tough guys and are attracted to MEN who put their foot down when they are doing things they know are wrong. You must simply tell this girl you can't control her behavior, neither do you wish to, and therefore you want nothing else to do with her. Tell her she can date all the guys she wants because YOU are NOT in the picture any longer. Let her know she doesn't have the morals or ethics that you value in a girl you want to date steadily. Also, ask her not to call you anymore. Then, just move on. Very quickly, word will get out that you don't put up with crap like she dishes out. Very soon, you will have many girls after you who are looking for men. Now, LISTEN UP!!!! Every girl will test you to see just what she can get away with. You let them know in advance where you draw the lines. Be reasonable. And respect their reasonable wishes as well. But when they cross the line, use your best judgement in possibly giving them ONE, and only ONE, more chance or ending it right there. When you give them one more chance, you have essentially flunked their test...so they will usually try to mess over you again. (Remember, I warned you here) If you consistently put up with crap in a relationship, that's what you'll get...and more and more of it. This EX of yours, tell her to get lost. You just don't need the aggravation. At your age, there are so many nice, sweet girls out there to choose from. But remember what I told you...they WILL TEST YOU. Be sure you let a lady, or anyone, know immediately when you feel you aren't being treated with consideration and respect. And if the behavior continues, REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE!!!! Don't ever let anyone, male or female, treat you with less than the consideration and dignity you deserve. Treat others the same way.
jay Posted May 27, 2000 Posted May 27, 2000 thank you, I believe your advise sound and set on firm basis. Once again thank you
Miranda Posted May 27, 2000 Posted May 27, 2000 Do you know for sure that she is cheating on you and that this is not a viscious rumor? If you are sure, then you DON'T want this girl. You DON'T need this girl. Let it go NOW. It will save you more heartbreak if you end it now. You deserve better.
quakeman1975 Posted May 29, 2000 Posted May 29, 2000 I had a problem very similar to yours with my wife and in order to ansewer your question you may have to give her space HENCE ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER
sabrina Posted May 29, 2000 Posted May 29, 2000 I am having the same problem with by boyfriend, well now it is ex, but I guess all I can say is that you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. You probably do love her but usually it is your first love that breaks your heart. Time will heal all wounds, so say goodbye now before things progress anymore!
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