Lizzie60 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I guess you men were right all along... You have to pay for it, either way. ................ You are too much OB!!! Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I guess you men were right all along... You have to pay for it, either way. I get the sense that many of these men posting here just see their partners as a hole to jack off into and clean the house (sorry if this sounds hard, but this is what it feels like). Why shouldn't the wife/girlfriend want some financial compensation if this is the case? They are basically just live in hookers. Link to post Share on other sites
Vet Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I get the sense that many of these men posting here just see their partners as a hole to jack off into and clean the house (sorry if this sounds hard, but this is what it feels like). Why shouldn't the wife/girlfriend want some financial compensation if this is the case? They are basically just live in hookers. These are the types of guys who are too cheap to look at it like that. Any guy that says you have to pay women to be with you either doesn't know what a real relationship is or wants the very wrong type of woman. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 These are the types of guys who are too cheap to look at it like that. Any guy that says you have to pay women to be with you either doesn't know what a real relationship is or wants the very wrong type of woman. This is true. I couldn't be in a relationship like that. It would feel to empty for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodamnpragmatic Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I get the sense that many of these men posting here just see their partners as a hole to jack off into and clean the house (sorry if this sounds hard, but this is what it feels like). Why shouldn't the wife/girlfriend want some financial compensation if this is the case? They are basically just live in hookers. Incredible!!!!! You can't be serious that this is what you read from the OP.... Yes a little crass the OP and his other thread, but what exactly did others post to tell you we want our spouse's to clean house and provide a hole.... Really pathetic the hatred you convey reading into a post.... Can you imagine a male say that all she wanted was someone to provide sperm for kids, help look after them and provide a meal ticket (tongue in cheek) when they file for divorce.... Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I really wish women would get this. When a man in a committed relationship is being sexually rejected, it's not just the act that's being turned down. It's the fact that she's rejecting him totally, I get this completely. And, if women are honest about it, I think they would feel the same way if their man turned them down repeatedly. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodamnpragmatic Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I like to think of attention as currency. So if your giving all these other women your attention, why expect your wife to give anything to you? Maybe you should give her a gift certificate to a beauty salon if manicures are so important? It would be a gentle and intimate way of suggesting that you like that foophy stuff. Yes he may like the foophy stuff as you call it..... However stay on point.... The crux of the post is no sex..... The other stuff is just window dressing.... Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Yes he may like the foophy stuff as you call it..... However stay on point.... The crux of the post is no sex..... The other stuff is just window dressing.... This is on point. The OP wants the wife to take care of all the house work, including kids, and wants her to look like a perfectly groomed barbie doll. As someone sugested on the other thread, he should let her quit her job and buy her a membership to the gym. I'll also add that he should watch the kids while she works out and gets her nails done. Maybe then he'll be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 come on, there's clearly more than that. They should sit down, talk frankly and find out what's wrong. Otherwise, MC... good (and expensive) way to solve your problems or ruin your marriage forever (like mine)... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Hey.. I just thought about it.. maybe the guy that came to my room while on vacation... had the same problem with his W.. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Hey.. I just thought about it.. maybe the guy that came to my room while on vacation... had the same problem with his W.. Ok- but you take gifts from men and don't clean up after them and don't watch their children so they can go have sex with other women. In all seriousness, don't you think that these women(wives/girlfriends) would be happier if they had a taste of what you get? How about the husbands give gifts to their wives and clean the house and watch the kids so that the wives can go have sex with other men? This sounds like a solution to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 This is on point. The OP wants the wife to take care of all the house work, including kids, and wants her to look like a perfectly groomed barbie doll. As someone sugested on the other thread, he should let her quit her job and buy her a membership to the gym. I'll also add that he should watch the kids while she works out and gets her nails done. Maybe then he'll be happy.Maybe the OP would be more willing to help with the house work and the kids if she'd be more active sexually. Just sayin... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Ok- but you take gifts from men and don't clean up after them and don't watch their children so they can go have sex with other women. In all seriousness, don't you think that these women(wives/girlfriends) would be happier if they had a taste of what you get? How about the husbands give gifts to their wives and clean the house and watch the kids so that the wives can go have sex with other men? This sounds like a solution to me! Huh?? I didn't take any gifst from this guy.. he was extremely attractive.. We had starred at each other during breakfast that morning.. We later met at the bar... I invited him.. Link to post Share on other sites
Gamine Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Perhaps people should stop doing things for one another expecting to get something and do thing for one another just because you love and care about them. There was a comment on one of the posts that suggested that men give in order to get sex and when sex doesn't come they feel rejected. Control freaks. Men and women aren't gumball machines. Insert a nickel and get a prize. There are ways to nurture one another in addition to sex. The guys who balk at the very wise suggestion concerning pampering her (shopping, haircuts, nails, etc...) and intimate lovemaking vs. getting laid, are perhaps the ones at odds with their wives in the bedroom. If you buy a woman flowers and champagne and attempt to use it like the nickel in the gumball machine... she will most definitely pick up on that and perhaps that is why she blew you off. Stop trying to control the woman in you life... here's a dinner out...here's a vacation... here are flowers... with the intention of getting something. When you start doing it because you love her... you might be surprised at what happens. Demands don't work with anyone. It is a huge turnoff. Link to post Share on other sites
Gamine Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Huh?? I didn't take any gifst from this guy.. he was extremely attractive.. We had starred at each other during breakfast that morning.. We later met at the bar... I invited him.. I wonder what has gone wrong in your life, Lizzie60. Why not help out all of those single guys hanging around instead of luring dudes back to your room for sexual servicing? I mean they'd probably be far more grateful. But then, again, perhaps it wouldn't be as exciting for you if you aren't devaluing someone through the act of sex... Makes me wonder. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 There are ways to nurture one another in addition to sex. The guys who balk at the very wise suggestion concerning pampering her (shopping, haircuts, nails, etc...) and intimate lovemaking vs. getting laid, are perhaps the ones at odds with their wives in the bedroom.I think you're missing the point. The guy would be much more likely to do those sorts of things if his lady was more sexually active. But if the OPs wife, literally or otherwise, gives out the impression that, "I'll only have sex with you if you pamper me with shopping, haircuts, nails, etc.", there's a term for that as well:Control freaks. Men and women aren't gumball machines. Insert a nickel and get a prize.It all starts in the bedroom with sexual intimacy. All of it. When sex is continually denied, the rest of the relationship suffers.I wonder what has gone wrong in your life, Lizzie60.Unbelievable. Just unbelievable. If that's not hugely judgemental, I dunno what is. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Maybe the OP would be more willing to help with the house work and the kids if she'd be more active sexually. Just sayin... So the OP shouldn't wipe his own @$$ and take care of his own kids?? If the wife died, would he let his kids starve and die and hire a nurse to take care of him since his wife could no longer service him?? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I agree with Thad... some women just won't bulge in the sex department even if their H gets her flowers, do the cooking, take care of the kids.. Strange.. but I wonder what they think.. there is a limit to a man's patience.. then they get all upside down when they catch their H cheating.. There is a woman, very close to me.. who is having this problem.. sex is sooo not important anymore.. she would completely go without.. her H does everything to get some.. help her around the house, with the kids, etc.. but he still doesn't get any.. They are 'argumenting' a lot about that issue. I warned her... she HAS to find ways to get intimate with him again.. or he will get it somehow... it's that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 :It all starts in the bedroom with sexual intimacy. All of it. When sex is continually denied, the rest of the relationship suffers.Unbelievable. Just unbelievable. If that's not hugely judgemental, I dunno what is. You have no understanding of how a relationship works. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Huh?? I didn't take any gifst from this guy.. he was extremely attractive.. We had starred at each other during breakfast that morning.. We later met at the bar... I invited him.. Oops! I misunderstood your other posts where you said you had sex with men for gifts. Maybe it's just some men? Either way, at least it's better then bieng expected to wipe a man's @$$ and have sex with him without getting anything else in return. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 So the OP shouldn't wipe his own @$$ and take care of his own kids?? If the wife died, would he let his kids starve and die and hire a nurse to take care of him since his wife could no longer service him??Oh fercrissakes. Now you're just talking nonsense, and to expect any rational argument from you when you make assertions like that is just ridiculous.You have no understanding of how a relationship works.If you truly believe that it's perfectly OK for a woman to withhold lovemaking as a basic quid pro quo for, say, doing the dishes or cleaning the windows, you're absolutely entitled to believe that. It's no different than if a man insisting on sex before he'll take out the garbage. I personally think it's bunk, but hey, whatever floats your boat. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Perhaps people should stop doing things for one another expecting to get something and do thing for one another just because you love and care about them. There was a comment on one of the posts that suggested that men give in order to get sex and when sex doesn't come they feel rejected. Control freaks. Men and women aren't gumball machines. Insert a nickel and get a prize. There are ways to nurture one another in addition to sex. The guys who balk at the very wise suggestion concerning pampering her (shopping, haircuts, nails, etc...) and intimate lovemaking vs. getting laid, are perhaps the ones at odds with their wives in the bedroom. If you buy a woman flowers and champagne and attempt to use it like the nickel in the gumball machine... she will most definitely pick up on that and perhaps that is why she blew you off. Stop trying to control the woman in you life... here's a dinner out...here's a vacation... here are flowers... with the intention of getting something. When you start doing it because you love her... you might be surprised at what happens. Demands don't work with anyone. It is a huge turnoff. easily said, but when the love is not reciprocated and you are still in a marriage, what do you do? This sex thing, in my opinion, is a blown out of proportion. If sex dwindles, the reason is usually that the wife/husband has gone off the other half. Or the other half is not number 1 priority anymore. Children are. Or your midlife crisis, whatever. I just wish couple could be honest with each other. Like my wife said to me once, I still like you enough to have sex with you every now and then, but I would do without if I could... not a pleasant thing to hear, but at least she was being honest. I feel sorry for those men/women who try and find a reason for the lack of sex. I don't anymore. My wife's gone off me. She is having sex with me to keep the family together... We can do whatever we like, but sex will not return and what you get is pity sex... To say that we have to love our partners unconditionally is BS. Love has to reciprocated. If we - men - are not loved back - and that includes sex - is unfair to assume that the onus must be all on us... what about our needs and our need for love? Seems a one way street to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Yikes OP, I feel for you. Regardless of the reason it would suck to have sex only one on a ten day vacation. I know there are reasons why someone would not want sex with their spouse it still hurts the rejected partner. You know...people that feel sexy are sexy...try making your wife feel like the hottest thing on two legs and see if she turns it around. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 OK for a woman to withhold lovemaking as a basic quid pro quo for, say, doing the dishes or cleaning the windows, you're absolutely entitled to believe that. It's no different than if a man insisting on sex before he'll take out the garbage. I personally think it's bunk, but hey, whatever floats your boat. Are men exempt from cleaning up their own crap? You act like women are little more than domestic servants who are supposed to cook, clean and then spread for a man just so they can have a roof over their head. How sad to be in a relationship where one person is considered to be so much lower than the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 If we - men - are not loved back - and that includes sex - is unfair to assume that the onus must be all on us... what about our needs and our need for love? Seems a one way street to me.Didn't you get the memo? Men's needs are 'selfish,' and intimacy with our partners is only doled out when we jump through ill-defined and quickly-moving hoops. Sexual intimacy is reduced to a transaction - do X, Y and Z in a particular order in a particular way and, if the winds are blowing the proper way and Venus is in conjunction with Mars, maybe, just maybe, you might be rewarded with intimacy. Short of abuse or infidelity, I can think of no better way to destroy a relationship than to use sex as a bargaining chip, as some posters would have you believe. I stand by my original assertion: It all starts in the bedroom. Link to post Share on other sites
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