Shakalaka Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I am clearly the coward. I couldn't overcome my parents pressuring me into breaking up with my different-race boyfriend, and we had a depressing but amiable breakup. Neither of us wanted to break up in the first place, but decided we would just stay friends. A month later, I met an older guy at a party, clicked, and ended up in bed with him a week later. I know I was clearly in the wrong. Even if you click with a person, that should not serve as a reason to sleep with them. I ended up telling my ex about the other guy and what happened with him. He was clearly upset, as was I towards myself. We both put it behind us, and I continued to keep in close touch with the older guy to the point where we both considered dating. Now, as I am willing to go and try out a possible new relationship, waiting for the other guy to make a final decision, my ex dropped a bomb on me and said that he wants me back...regardless of the fact that I'd slept with another guy only a month after we broke up. During the relationship he was the perfect boyfriend and a good friend. I still do have feelings for him, but I still want to see what other people are like. Keep in mind that we were broken up when the sex with the other guy happened. I know it hurt him a lot, but I can't undo what I did...but we have never cheated on each other while in a relationship. What should I do? Should I go back to my ex who still has feelings for me regardless of my actions, or do I not deserve him? Should I see what other people are like, or am I missing out on a promising second chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I am clearly the coward. I couldn't overcome my parents pressuring me into breaking up with my different-race boyfriend, and we had a depressing but amiable breakup. Neither of us wanted to break up in the first place, but decided we would just stay friends. A month later, I met an older guy at a party, clicked, and ended up in bed with him a week later. I know I was clearly in the wrong. Even if you click with a person, that should not serve as a reason to sleep with them. I ended up telling my ex about the other guy and what happened with him. He was clearly upset, as was I towards myself. We both put it behind us, and I continued to keep in close touch with the older guy to the point where we both considered dating. Now, as I am willing to go and try out a possible new relationship, waiting for the other guy to make a final decision, my ex dropped a bomb on me and said that he wants me back...regardless of the fact that I'd slept with another guy only a month after we broke up. During the relationship he was the perfect boyfriend and a good friend. I still do have feelings for him, but I still want to see what other people are like. Keep in mind that we were broken up when the sex with the other guy happened. I know it hurt him a lot, but I can't undo what I did...but we have never cheated on each other while in a relationship. What should I do? Should I go back to my ex who still has feelings for me regardless of my actions, or do I not deserve him? Should I see what other people are like, or am I missing out on a promising second chance? If you still want to see what's out there then there is no point of you being with your BF. It's not wrong to want to see what's out there, just make sure you are not attached to any guy. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I think it's too late to go back at this point. If you get back together, you'll still want to experience other guys and you'll still have your parents' disapproval to deal with. You'll just end up hurting him again. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I think it's too late to go back at this point. If you get back together, you'll still want to experience other guys and you'll still have your parents' disapproval to deal with. You'll just end up hurting him again. I agree with norajane. You mentioned your parents' disapproval early on in your post but never went back to that. Can you deal with that aspect of things? If you can't, then don't bother. I could not seriously date or marry someone that my parents didn't approve of -- when I was younger I always argued that I could, but the older you get, the more important you realize your family are. Even if you decide they will just have to accept it, you still mention wanting to see other guys. Just because your ex was the perfect bf while dating doesn't mean he's right for you or you should be with him. There are dozens of guys who would probably be great bf's - you have to find the one who's right for you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
fakobako Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 i hate it when parents get involved with my relationships. you need to nip that in the butt real quick. but, now YOU need to figure out what YOU wanna do. not what someone else wants. why not make a list of the two guys. i know it sounds 1st grade-ish, but just try it. write down what each of them brings into your life. happiness, laughter, is he nice, money expectations, fun, does he get jealous easily, temper? write the good and the bad and take a look at it and compare. sounds totally stupid and unfair to maybe both guys, but it helps some people. and dont feel bad about what you did with the older guy a month after you broke up. you were broken up, he needs to understand that and get over it. theres no way of you knowing if he was with someone else, so leave it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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