Candygirl925 Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Has anyone ever been in a relationship with someone who has this "me and you against the world" complex? That's how the one I'm in seems to be. I've gotta constantly prove I'm on his side, no matter what. I know some of the reasons for this, (that I can't really go into on a public board), and others that are just plain annoying, (the so-called "ex")....it's just so crazy sometimes. The smallest thing comes off as a betrayal to him. And it's hard for me because I promised I would be by his side through whatever. I don't take promises lightly. Just wondering if any other ladies can relate? Link to post Share on other sites
Riles Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 I'm not sure. In my relationship we rarely agree on anything. But that does not mean we cannot compromise. We are 2 very different people, and it is always interesting. I am more strong willed/minded, and he is more outgoing. I don't know if you aren't allowed to have your own opinion and your own say if it disagree's with him, I would say find somebody else, you'll just end up his door mat eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Candygirl925 Posted November 14, 2003 Author Share Posted November 14, 2003 Well, I'm allowed to have my own opinion on things that don't really matter like music, movies, etc. Although if he's in a real b**ch of a mood he wont even let me watch what I want on TV. This would actually be a good example of how things go in our relationship....he lets me keep the remote control and tells me to change the channels until we come across something he says he wants to watch. If I stop on something I want to watch, he takes the remote from me. But if I stop on the channel he picks and then ask if I can watch something else, he'll let me. It seems like everything is a test to see if I'll listen to him or not. And, like I said, there are some serious reasons for him needing to know I'm on his side, and I've made the choice to put up with it. I was just wondering how many women can relate. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 Originally posted by Candygirl925 Well, I'm allowed to have my own opinion on things that don't really matter like music, movies, etc. Although if he's in a real b**ch of a mood he wont even let me watch what I want on TV. This would actually be a good example of how things go in our relationship....he lets me keep the remote control and tells me to change the channels until we come across something he says he wants to watch. If I stop on something I want to watch, he takes the remote from me. But if I stop on the channel he picks and then ask if I can watch something else, he'll let me. It seems like everything is a test to see if I'll listen to him or not. And, like I said, there are some serious reasons for him needing to know I'm on his side, and I've made the choice to put up with it. I was just wondering how many women can relate. Sorry but I absolutely cannot relate to this. Activities like watching television have to be mutual decisions; but you are clearly under this thumb. You're "allowed" to have your own opinions about "things that don't really matter?" Excuse me? Anyone who is so insecure that they must control others and force them to parrot their opinions is not someone I would want to be with. I don't care how "tough" his life has been or how bad his mood, there is no reason why you should have to suppress your own opinions in order to suit him. What nonsense. If he's so sure about his view of things, he should be able to withstand someone who has a different view. If he can't, it's because at the core he's weak. Not to mention controlling and manipulative. Yikes. When I lived with my ex boyfriend (who did prefer that I went along with his perspective on things, one reason why we didn't work out) the person who turned the television on was the person who decided what would be watched. But we were considerate of each other, and would come to an agreement. There is simply no way I would tolerate being with a guy who tried to boss me around as if it were his right. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 Here! Here! Midori you said it. Even when my husband and I were first dating we were considerate of each other and both of us would let the other choose (sometimes it was more "Go ahead - watch what YOU want to watch." "No, that's okay - watch what YOU want to watch" ) LOL Now we watch TV in different rooms if there is something on that I don't want to watch (or vice-versa) I'll let him watch football on the big screen and I'll go in the bedroom and read or watch a movie on the little TV. He always offers to watch football on the little TV - and I've taken him up on it a couple of times - but football should be watched on the biggest screen possible! LOL! As for the "you and me against the world" that is how hubby & I feel -- only we are a team and the problems of the world (like our current financial crisis & unemployment situation) we face together. Link to post Share on other sites
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