stampdaddy Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 well, I hope you are doing OK.. But I gotta a feeling your all wrapped up in MW again and ignoring us for the moment. You WILL be back, and we WILL be here... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tx_hrt Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 Hey SD!! H was out of town Wed & Thurs with kid. We planned on spending both days together. I cooked a wonderful dinner on Wed and spent the night together. Thurs we got into a big fight and I told her many many things about how I feel about her and how she has hurt me. I told her I didn't want any contact with her and that I am through with her. I then hung up the phone on her. She called and called and called. I answered and then hung up. I later just would not answer. I felt so good about my decision. Until this morning...she called and I was weak!! I am seeing a therapist on Monday. Never done that before and don't know what to expect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tx_hrt Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 What makes this so hard is that I love this woman!! No contact is not what I want. I want her!! I know eveyone says that she is a cheater and do you really want to be with a cheater? I know I shouldn't want her but, I do!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tx_hrt Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 Help me!!! Give me strength Link to post Share on other sites
4everloveu Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Help me!!! Give me strength I'm sorry to hear that you hurt. I know it very hard and difficult to go NC with someone that you truely love. Someone that I know is in the same situation, but it a very long term A. He couldn't do it to her, after 10 yrs. Just take it day by day. I hope you feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
stampdaddy Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I was gonna ask what the fight was about, but my guess would be something petty. I remember a few of these, and they were ALL because there are some underlying issue cause DIRECTLY because of the affair. 1.) you have underlying resentment because she wont choose you, leave her marriage, and especially now that you are here on LS and your eyes have been opened a little to what is what, you can snap at any time 2.) she has underlying issues that NOW she knows that you are slipping right through her fingers, knows that she wont do anything about it, knows that you are FREE to move on while she stays "stuck" where she is at.. NEITHER of these work well, and NEITHER of these would exist if this wasnt an affair Link to post Share on other sites
4everloveu Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I was gonna ask what the fight was about, but my guess would be something petty. I remember a few of these, and they were ALL because there are some underlying issue cause DIRECTLY because of the affair. 1.) you have underlying resentment because she wont choose you, leave her marriage, and especially now that you are here on LS and your eyes have been opened a little to what is what, you can snap at any time 2.) she has underlying issues that NOW she knows that you are slipping right through her fingers, knows that she wont do anything about it, knows that you are FREE to move on while she stays "stuck" where she is at.. NEITHER of these work well, and NEITHER of these would exist if this wasnt an affair Stamp, what I don't understand is someone that I know, his MW have no intenstion to leave her marriage. She just string him along, and he willing to wait for her for that 1% that she will divorce. It's been 10 years, how long do he have to wait for his MW. He complainted to me, it painful but too in love with her. Link to post Share on other sites
stampdaddy Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I am seeing a therapist on Monday. Never done that before and don't know what to expect. could go either way, but any good one is going to tell you EXACTLY what we tell you. WALK AWAY. Not fro "her", but from the "affair", it is not going to work this way... Link to post Share on other sites
stampdaddy Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Stamp, what I don't understand is someone that I know, his MW have no intenstion to leave her marriage. She just string him along, and he willing to wait for her for that 1% that she will divorce. It's been 10 years, how long do he have to wait for his MW. He complainted to me, it painful but too in love with her. FOREVER, he will wait! Link to post Share on other sites
4everloveu Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 FOREVER, he will wait! Maybe until one day he lose his hope on waiting. Or wait until it get burst by her husband. His therapy told him to leave the affair, his friend tell him to leave the affair. But he can't do it. He said it's too long if he let go for now. Link to post Share on other sites
stampdaddy Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Maybe until one day he lose his hope on waiting. Or wait until it get burst by her husband. His therapy told him to leave the affair, his friend tell him to leave the affair. But he can't do it. He said it's too long if he let go for now. yeah, he's right, so whats another 10-20 years? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tx_hrt Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 Why does it hurt so bad? Why can't we let go? MW has done nothing but give me grief, sadness, hurt, pain. I give everything and she gives nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Tx_hrt it does hurt and it hurts bad. In my case I was the WS and my OM ended things with me. I am sure the xMW is feeling just as bad as you are. I am one year after my affair ended and I still hurt partly because we did not practice NC until now (I am planning on not answering any more of his emails). Please keep NC... so far it is the only thing that makes me feel like I am getting stronger everyday. Every time you have contact you keep reopening the same wounds and every time there is contact it gives you false hope. You will find another woman that solely loves YOU, just have faith;) Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Tx if you KNOW she is giving nothing and you want the relationship anyway then you are hooked into the fantasy. The fantasy of if you hang on long enough she will engage more fully in the relationship, she will give, she will stop causing you pain, and the relationship will be everything that you want it to be and know in your heart that it can be. You need to step back and get some perspective. Maybe it "could be" in an ideal world, but its not. And you need to walk away unless you are ready to keep accepting more pain. If a single woman were giving you this much grief would yo stay? If so then it is an issue for IC. If not then you are making excuses because she is married. Dont. I hope you find some peace. Link to post Share on other sites
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