Silverado87 Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 ok so my girlfriend went to dinner with her friend and then drove her back home and talked. a guy called her and they hung out at walmart. my friends that i work with her knew it was her and told me. all night she wouldnt answer my calls and would get one word texts back every hourish. she was out with another guy at walmart (she knew him) and then they talked and drove around then she kissed him. at first she lied to me about it until i was upfront with her and she felt better texting it to me. she kissed him no alcohol was involved weve been together almost 3 years. should i give her a second chance im so upset, confused, and scared. never felt this instense before. what should i do Link to post Share on other sites
ScarLettIsle Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 i'm not trying to be a flake here but - its a kiss..herpes and cooties aside - maybe she just wanted to see what it was like - maybe she likes him - maybe it was a flook and maybe u should just ask her what provoked it???? Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 ok so my girlfriend went to dinner with her friend and then drove her back home and talked. a guy called her and they hung out at walmart. my friends that i work with her knew it was her and told me. all night she wouldnt answer my calls and would get one word texts back every hourish. she was out with another guy at walmart (she knew him) and then they talked and drove around then she kissed him. at first she lied to me about it until i was upfront with her and she felt better texting it to me. she kissed him no alcohol was involved weve been together almost 3 years. should i give her a second chance im so upset, confused, and scared. never felt this instense before. what should i do she is low rent, so much so she gets horny from a date at Wal-mart...be thankful he didn't take her to target, she would have f*ck him. end it now, and do not contact her or take hers. you have to show you care for yourself more then you care for her. she disrespected you and did not even have the courage to talk to you in person. and after a good deal of time unless she comes to you (in person) begging for forgiveness and, more importantly, able to explain why she was able to do this and what she is doing to correct this flaw in her so it never happens again, she will just hurt you again. no more contact will be hard and it will hurt but that is what having self-respect is about. good luck you are more then strong enough and deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Its done. She checked out of your relationship months ago. Break it off with her, and stop taking calls from her before she breaks it off with you. Go completely NC, and dont answer any of her texts unless they say that she learned her lesson and she wants to try and work out whatever problem she has with you. She will go crazy that you cut her off, and she will rethink her position, but only if you do NOT talk to her at all. Get it? Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 i'm not trying to be a flake here but - its a kiss..herpes and cooties aside - maybe she just wanted to see what it was like - maybe she likes him - maybe it was a flook and maybe u should just ask her what provoked it???? are you kidding? she chose to be deceitful and he shouldn't have to ask. it was her behavior and hers responsibility to address it. if your partner wanted to see what someone else was like, or if they like some else, or as a "flook" got naked with someone and had sex would you be ok? at one point does the line get crossed for you? it is just a kiss but its all about boundaries and she crossed it and chose to cause her partner pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 ok so my girlfriend went to dinner with her friend and then drove her back home and talked. a guy called her and they hung out at walmart. my friends that i work with her knew it was her and told me. all night she wouldnt answer my calls and would get one word texts back every hourish. she was out with another guy at walmart (she knew him) and then they talked and drove around then she kissed him. at first she lied to me about it until i was upfront with her and she felt better texting it to me. she kissed him no alcohol was involved weve been together almost 3 years. should i give her a second chance im so upset, confused, and scared. never felt this instense before. what should i do No way. She made her choice. She knew exactly what she was doing. Dump her ass. NOW. Link to post Share on other sites
ScarLettIsle Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 then the question becomes why did she feel better putting it in a text??? does she feel unsafe tellin him in person? if she is telling the truth - there ain't nuthing she can get into at the walmart unless they were buying the twilight KY jelly... and ducked into the bathroom...he KNOWS the people at the wally world and i feel pretty confident they would have told on her... are we stating that it would have been better had she been drinking - cause a kiss is a kiss reagrdless... he has to man up and accept she licked someone else - or be done Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 then the question becomes why did she feel better putting it in a text??? does she feel unsafe tellin him in person? if she is telling the truth - there ain't nuthing she can get into at the walmart unless they were buying the twilight KY jelly... and ducked into the bathroom...he KNOWS the people at the wally world and i feel pretty confident they would have told on her... are we stating that it would have been better had she been drinking - cause a kiss is a kiss reagrdless... he has to man up and accept she licked someone else - or be done i do agree with the drinking point. there really are not degrees of cheating your faithful or not. if she felt unsafe talking to him in person then why is she with him and leave respectfully. he has to man up it has nothing to do with his manhood, he has a right to be sad and angry. i find your desire to minimize her actions and his hurt misplaced. or maybe i am completely misunderstanding you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silverado87 Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 i broke it off with her. apparently i talked with her on the phone and shell tell me the guy later today and he leaned in to kiss her but that dont matter. i honestly want closure with her before i leave her forever. i love her and i miss her already. honestly to add to the drama. shes my first love so its not like ive been through this before.. weve known eachother for 9 years and dated 3. she said "it just happened" she feels horrible and throwing up. (i hope it hurts her) but thanks guys ive never had to break up with the one i love. oh and the guy did know we were together so i want you guys to know is it ok to approach the guy if i find him? doesnt matter cause i will go after him. its simple reaction that we want to go after the other person but its not really who you wanna go after, its my girl. ive already changed all my passwords that we knew. havent deleted her from my phone book...yet that will be the last thing i do. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Good for you bro. I say forget about the other guy. What good will it do to go after him? SHE ignored your texts. SHE blew you off. SHE let him kiss her. It's all her fault and now you've ended it so you should move on. She betrayed you and doesn't deserve another chance. There are plenty of girls out there who won't make excuses to cheat on you. Link to post Share on other sites
ScarLettIsle Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 i do agree with the drinking point. there really are not degrees of cheating your faithful or not. if she felt unsafe talking to him in person then why is she with him and leave respectfully. it has nothing to do with his manhood, he has a right to be sad and angry. i find your desire to minimize her actions and his hurt misplaced. or maybe i am completely misunderstanding you. i think that u are misunderstanding me... i am not minimizing anything - i think that he should talk to her (if thats an option they are willing to undertake) - as a part of human psychology some feel that they have to devastate their partners in order for them to break up with them - he seems very honest and sensitve - perhaps that is what she was trying to do provoke conflict in the relationship and get him to dump her which is very plausible otherwise , "why date at the walmart - where he knows the people" ... on the flip side he could be jealous and a a lil loopy (soryy but we have to make it an option for argument) and if he thinks that she was with another man he may make him A) more possessive of her B) beat her azz C) break up with her... the options here are limitless... on the otherside she could be a class act HUSSY and just doesn't care if he knows - she said a kiss - there are 50 places to kiss.... Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 i. havent deleted her from y phone book...yet that will be the last thing i do. that should be the first thing, along with email address, myspace,facebook, and any other way eith you or her can contact each other. and forget about closer, it does not happen there is alway one more question and you will want. to help you get through it READ THIS AND FOLLOW IT: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/ it wont feel like it but it will help you get past it. remeber be kind to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
MrFun Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 she kissed him no alcohol was involved weve been together almost 3 years. should i give her a second chance im so upset, confused, and scared. never felt this instense before. what should i do You will learn to resent yourself eventually. She'll resent you and will dump you. You know what you need to do, you're just not ready to do it yet. We all go through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silverado87 Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 ok that did help.. all i can really know now is damn its gonna hit me and its gonna hurt bad. and to the NC which i guess shouldnt be problem but she lives 2 houses down from me. we still live at our parents for right now. all i know is A. im glad i didnt buy her a ring! (i already knew i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life) B. im glad i didnt move out with her. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 ok that did help.. all i can really know now is damn its gonna hit me and its gonna hurt bad. and to the NC which i guess shouldnt be problem but she lives 2 houses down from me. we still live at our parents for right now. all i know is A. im glad i didnt buy her a ring! (i already knew i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life) B. im glad i didnt move out with her. Dont sweat it, a lil time will pass, and believe it or not, the next girl will come along, and you will think, "What did I see in that selfish bitch?". It will happen, believe me. You start thinking it now, and you will on the fast track to healing. And ignoring her will tear her up inside. She deserves it. Link to post Share on other sites
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