phineas Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 "I need space" She told me that when she had a date with OM. She told the same thing to OM when we made plans to go out. I've never known someone so lazy when it came to chores around the house put so much Time & effort into carrying on an affair. It just makes no sense. Link to post Share on other sites
in a daze Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 maybe not anoter man, but this sounds just like a friend of mine story, and it turned out to be another woman.. not trying to start any probs.. but keep your eyes open Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 she could also have a friend or two trying to convince her she'd be better off single again. I know the divorced men my friend worked with had an impact on his decision to get a divorce. They made him think the grass was greener. That divorce & a different chick every week was the life. Well, he got his "freedom" & a different chick every week. Hot one's too. Guess what? He still isn't happy & now realizes he made a mistake. The stupid azz could also probably go back to his wife & family & house if he just grew up & put the work into it. But he won't. Too lazy. too much effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Author joemarriage Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 Lisa, thank you for the book recommendation, amazing. I ordered from Ama**n for $4.00 free shipping too!!! any ways thats where i have been the last week or so. My wife actually laughed at me when she saw me reading it, that was until she picked it up and chose a random chapter, then she said she wanted to read it when i was done. Also there has been some great post about 180... I had already done most of what it says, even before finding LS. I would suggest everyone who is going through what i am to try it and read the book. Divorce Busting, I am a visual guy and hate reading and this is a good book, but no pictures, LOL. Friday we had another MC ... It went well, same counselor, I think he should be paying me for the entertainment for an hour, i am a pretty funny guy and he was laughing through half of it. his opinion was that we work good together just my w needs to work out a few things that she doesnt like about me... Confusing that she has to work out things about her that will make me better... I should go back to drugs!!! then maybe I would understand. Well she ends up admitting that she doesn't want to move out. She still wants to get her moms prepped but wants to work on us. That really screwed with me, I think i was almost to the point that i was OK with her leaving. Made me feel like she put me through 2 months of hell then made it easy to just say never mind, i want to stay and work it out. I bit my tounge and didn't say this to her, I wanted to tell her to still move out but I love her so much and have lost so much sleep that I didn't have the strength. Against most advice I got on here, I went out of town with my W and kids last week, for a family get away. We had rules, well she had rules, no sexual contact. Which I honored. We got along great laughed ate dinners played with the kids went on hikes ate ice cream. A few times while sitting on the beach i couldn't keep my mouth shut and ruined a couple of moments other than that we had a good time. Got home went to work friday, i actually had the weekend off, except for a couple consultations Friday night and one on both Sat, and Sun Mornings... I managed to squeeze the bathroom cleaning and sweeping the house also the yard work in. We sat around Saturday night and watch a couple of movies. One was recommended by a friend going through the same thing, Fireproof, it's a christian movie, which we are not "saved" so we thought the movie was a little cheesy, Kirk Cameron is the main actor. It described our marriage almost perfectly so we laughed together about the movie. HAd a good message though. During both movies we took turns rubbing each other and scratching each others backs. Went to bed as normal. Sunday we spent the day together again. I never brought up any of our problems all weekend.we had a normal day made dinner together, i actually helped clean the kitchen with her. we watched out typical Sunday night TV, Hung and Entourage. went to bed. She could not sleep and I sensed it so we started talking about us, not the marriage. Next thing I know she's telling me how she still loves me and that is why she is still there. We talk about some of our great times together, Italy, Cancun, Hawaii and the east coast for fall colors... She then admits she thinks she's ready for sex. Which I tried to hold out knowing she may just be horny, it had been over 2 months, longest since we've been together. I finally gave in. AFter we talked again and agree we still have more work but it is what she wants, she still loves me but we still have some things to work on. I know htis is a rare occurance, after reading these forums, but I am grateful she has chosen to stay and work it out. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 I'm glad it's working out for you, although still at an early stage, and glad that MC is working also. MC was a disaster for us, but every couple is different... let's hope it will carry on like this... good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
ryepatch Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 a lot of us may be jealous here. . . god, if only my wife would agree to MC. she promised me six months of it before ever leaving. . .things were fine right up to the point where they weren't. . . we went to couples counseling a couple days before she left, but not because we were having marital problems, but because she was depressed and we were moving crosscountry in a week and she was having coldfeet. . . didn't once mention there was a problem. . she was being really affectionate right up til 24 hrs before she left, now she won't even answer the phone. . . Link to post Share on other sites
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