pandagirl Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 The older I get (31) the more I appreciate my friends and family, and become disappointed in others (both men and women). Maybe I was born with a bigger empathetic bone than other, but I honestly have and will never lie, deceive or act in a dishonest way to anyone. I treat people that way I want to be treated. I have a lot of personal integrity, and it's not just for show, it's because I truly feel that way. I used to think the majority of humans were this way, but now it's clear to me that most people are selfish and thoughtless. Of course, it is up to me to filter out these people and I ultimately have control over who I invite into my life, but I am fooled time and time again. I don't want to become calloused and jaded. I believe and see the good in everyone, but at the same time, it hurts so much every time when what I thought I saw was only an illusion. I have an amazing group of friends, but I feel like I'll never meet a man who is a true, honest, up-standing person. Do these people exist? Especially single men in their 30s and 40s? Can people change? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Weigh it, panda. Everyone has both in them. If the good outweighs the bad, then aren't they worth friendship? Also, what you're willing to give might not be what everyone else prioritizes. Does this make you selfish and thoughtless if what they want, isn't what you're willing or able to give? I think there are more worthwhile people in this world than not, as long as you're realistic in your expectations of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pandagirl Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 I guess I'm not talking about personality traits. We all have faults and shortcomings. I just think so many people act without thinking. Or do things without thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Have you ever heard of the five languages of love? Someone might show their caring through actions, another through compliments. Yes, I agree. People don't always think before they say or act. But on the otherhand, does everyone have the same values as you, panda? I'm not trying to make you feel bad. Just trying to get you to see it another way. This is something I also need to work on. Acceptance of people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pandagirl Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 You're right. I am projecting my values onto other people and expecting them to match them, which isn't fair. I am getting better at accepting people, but sometimes I just get sooooo frustrated! I just think people should live by the golden rule, and most don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Jaytb Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 32,768.3 (I'm the .3) Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 You're right. I am projecting my values onto other people and expecting them to match them, which isn't fair. I am getting better at accepting people, but sometimes I just get sooooo frustrated! I just think people should live by the golden rule, and most don't. Whats the golden rule? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pandagirl Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Whats the golden rule? from wiki: The ethic of reciprocity, more commonly known as the Golden Rule, is an ethical code that states one has a right to just treatment, and a responsibility to ensure justice for others. Reciprocity is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights, though it has its critics.[1] A key element of the golden rule is that a person attempting to live by this rule treats all people, not just members of his or her in-group, with consideration. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 from wiki: The ethic of reciprocity, more commonly known as the Golden Rule, is an ethical code that states one has a right to just treatment, and a responsibility to ensure justice for others. Reciprocity is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights, though it has its critics.[1] A key element of the golden rule is that a person attempting to live by this rule treats all people, not just members of his or her in-group, with consideration. O! well, in that case, the world dont work like that. Youve learned this. In relationships, its part of life to keep running into unsuitables to find the suitable, and tell little white lies in the process to make things work. Link to post Share on other sites
Change543 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I feel exactly the same. I'd never lie to some whom I care about, treat them like i would want to be treated, and just be straight up with my partner. I feel as if it is impossible to find someone like me who actually wants to be with someone and be honest, faithful, and undeceiving. Maybe one day that special person will come I hope:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Can people change? they can always get meaner. Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 The older I get (31) the more I appreciate my friends and family, and become disappointed in others (both men and women). Maybe I was born with a bigger empathetic bone than other, but I honestly have and will never lie, deceive or act in a dishonest way to anyone. I treat people that way I want to be treated. I have a lot of personal integrity, and it's not just for show, it's because I truly feel that way. I used to think the majority of humans were this way, but now it's clear to me that most people are selfish and thoughtless. Of course, it is up to me to filter out these people and I ultimately have control over who I invite into my life, but I am fooled time and time again. I don't want to become calloused and jaded. I believe and see the good in everyone, but at the same time, it hurts so much every time when what I thought I saw was only an illusion. I have an amazing group of friends, but I feel like I'll never meet a man who is a true, honest, up-standing person. Do these people exist? Especially single men in their 30s and 40s? Can people change? Don't give up Panda. They're rare but they're out there. Myself and my friends are honest, considerate and respectable sorts of guys. You just have to take the good with the bad I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 "The older I get, the more I appreciate my friends and family, and become disappointed in others (both men and women)." I totally understand where you're coming from. To complicate the issue, while I appreciate certain traits in "outsiders" that my family and friends don't have, these traits usually don't seem to be accompanied by the things I value the MOST. If that makes sense. Keep the faith though... people still have more in common than they do differences. Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 I'd say I'm living proof that these people exist, but I can't because then I'd be a narcissist. Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 Expect the worst...but hope for the Best! this way, you can't get hurt... imho...don't ever change cause this world is so cold...be true to who YOU are...everyday...no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
dunstable Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 PandaGirl, it's my experience too that most people are selfish and thoughtless. But you've filtered through the dross sufficiently to make some good friends (I assume you mean women friends) - so there ARE people out there with similar high standards to you. Women don't have a monopoly on standards -- you will find that man some day. Are you just hoping to bump into him or are you using all the tools at your disposal such as the online dating agencies? You will certainly need to screen a lot of men to find the right one and you can't leave it to chance encounter. Link to post Share on other sites
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