dark1san Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Me and my fiance have been engaged for a couple months now, and just spent our first full week together on vacation at the beach. And I believe if you really want to see if you can tolerate being with someone before you move in with one another and find out it was a mistake, a week long vacation is a nice but little preview. You see them when they first wake in the morning, when they go to bed at nite, if they snore or do odd things while sleeping, how they act through the day, you see what kind of emotions they run through, little things. I have to honestly say I'm ready, I love her to death. Link to post Share on other sites
eyewonder Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Me and my fiance have been engaged for a couple months now, and just spent our first full week together on vacation at the beach. And I believe if you really want to see if you can tolerate being with someone before you move in with one another and find out it was a mistake, a week long vacation is a nice but little preview. You see them when they first wake in the morning, when they go to bed at nite, if they snore or do odd things while sleeping, how they act through the day, you see what kind of emotions they run through, little things. I have to honestly say I'm ready, I love her to death. I'm confused. Shouldn't you have already known this before you got engaged? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dark1san Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 Not all who are engaged live together before they are married, and yes I've seen her ways before I proposed to her, just we never had a "whole week" together. And it just made my love for her grow more like it does every day. Link to post Share on other sites
CM2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Not all who are engaged live together before they are married, and yes I've seen her ways before I proposed to her, just we never had a "whole week" together. And it just made my love for her grow more like it does every day. So true my FEXW didn't move in together until we got married... Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Sounds like you are ready to make this woman your wife...good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 yep, you learn a lot about a person when you share space with him or her ... even a weekend visit reveals a lot. in your case, I'm glad to hear that you two mesh together well! Congratulations on the engagement, bud Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I am very happy for you both - however keep in mind that a vacation is not at all the same as every day for the rest of your life. The rest of your life will require work, patience and compromise but you sound up to it. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
c-riouz Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I read about another good test or way to find out if it's going to work: Even if things all add up on paper that doesn't mean you have marriage-material on your hands; things could get very different the longer you're with [her/] him (and the more you learn about the weird tick he assures you is 'nothing'). How can you be sure it's gonna work? What you need is a test-bed; a microcosm of what your life will be like with [her/] him after the thrill wears off. A controlled, laboratory environment where all of [her/] his best and worst traits will be laid bare for you to assess (and, most likely, recoil in horror.) Luckily that microcosm exists — it's called travel. But, we don't mean luxury travel - hell, anyone can survive a week at the Maui Four Seasons without revealing any unpleasant personality quirks. We're talking about 'budget travel'. The kind of travel that taps deeply into the psychological and physical differences between men and women. The kind of travel that pits man against woman in some very primal, conflict-charged situations; such as getting lost and having to ask for directions, among others. To start the experiment, load your lab rat...er, [girl-/]boyfriend into an economy compact rental car and hit the road for at least an 8-hour road-trip. The destination doesn't matter; it's the trip itself that tells you all you need to know. Just get your potential love-mate into a cramped moving vehicle for several long, boring hours and you'll really find out how much you like [her/] him. And how much he really likes you. Trust us, after 500 miles in a hot, odd-smelling **** box, he'll reveal tons of specific information about [herself] himself that will allow you to peer into the future of your lives together. When people are outside their normal comfort zone and bored to tears, their real personality shows up. You'll know whether he makes the experience more tolerable, or more miserable. Because, if you can't get along for 8-hours without screaming and lunging for each other's jugular, how long do you think you'd last in a marriage? Not damn much longer. Budget travel lets you experience each other's problem-solving skills (or lack thereof). Plus, it gives you an idea of how your different approaches mix, or don't. If he's the advance-planner type and you're the seat-of-your-pants spontaneous type, you'll find out if they work well together, and fast. It's like compressing time; you'll quickly reach each other's limits and discover if [her/] his adorable little quirks will still be adorable later when you're married and borderline suicidal. Link to post Share on other sites
onthebrinkofitall Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 Don't let me get your hopes up here but I'm gonna give you my honest opinion and I'll try not to sound harsh. When you're on vacation for a week, you're HAPPY. It's a vacation, not real life. And take into account that people change, not overnight [unless they're my husband! ] but over time. Or there might be little things about this person that don't annoy you now but they will wear on you over time. For example, completely hypothetical, but IF she drools in her sleep.. on your vacation, you may have found that endearing and/or cute. But 6 - 8 months from now, when you look at your bed in the morning and see her spit stained pillowcase, you might get disgusted. I know, I know.. hard to imagine such a thing right now but that "new" does wear off after a while. However, maybe you're a drooler too and you two can have your spit stained pillowcases together. No one on here knows her like you do.. and no one knows all the little things about your relationship that you couldn't tell people even if you tried. If you want to marry this girl, then do it. If it works out, you two can laugh at the world together. If it doesn't, there are coping boards on here too.. and maybe you'll be back to weep with the rest of us. Either way, hindsight is 20/20 and it's easy to pass judgement if you've been through something and think "I know better." Sounds like you've got your mind made up.. so walk down that aisle with all the confidence in the world and give it your best shot. Best of luck to both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
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