carnegie Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 We've been dating for 3 years. We've been in a very long distance for 2 years. But each 6 months, i go back to my hometown and we can meet each other. I know I'm the first one she loves. And i deeply know she loved me very very much, and me too. There're so many happy things we spent together,we also talked about our future,our small family,our kids...we promised that "out of side, not out of mind". 6 months ago, i met her, and our relationship was still good. But 2 months ago, she had a very important exam and she worried very much, but i cant help her anything. And after the exam without thinking of me, she called me and told me that she's lost all feelings for me!! I know exactly she doesn't find a new guy. Just cuz of my behavior. Now im really confused!!! cuz i still love her so much. I really believe that i cant find a girl who love me more than she did. But know i lost her, i had a feeling that i lost my way! I told her that i m sorry, and she said "ok, i forgive, but i really lost all my feelings for you, i m sorry". I dont know what to do to get back her feelings, i know there feelings were very special, and deeply, cuz i m the first one of her, and our relationship was serious. She was a motivation for me to work, to study! What can i do now, to forget her, or try to get her back, and how? I cant forget her face, her smile, her voice...! Please help me! (she's 18 and i m 20) Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Women lose feelings for you depending on your behavior. All you can do is not allow her to contact you for a month at least. Let her miss you. If you stay in contact with her she wont miss you. She either is seeing someone else, or she wants to try and stay away from you so she can see if she can live without you. But usually, once a girls feelings leave, they dont come back, not while youre still around. So sit back, dont contact her, dont answer her calls, dont let her hear from you. You think it will be cruel, but its not, its what she needs. Keep reading this board about breakups and you will understand why this is so. start by reading this whole this whole thread and you will understand. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=196251&page=3 Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I know it's tough. It always hurts when someone we love tells us they no longer feel the same. First things first...stop torturing yourself with the idea that you will get her back. If she actually told you that she no longer has feelings for you then she has probably been feeling that way for a while and finally worked up to telling you. It is extremely rare that she would ever change on this. Second, I think that you need to not have contact with her anymore. Definitely never initiate contact. Like Boogie wrote above, she will never miss you if you are calling, emailing, texting, and crying to her. The other thing is, you will never get over her until you stop all contact. I also read some things in your post that remind me of every person when they break up. You said you will never find anyone to love her like she did..etc...Listen, you're young. There are plenty of women out there. I know right now it seems this was the pinnacle of your love life, and no one will ever compare. Everyone feels like that initially. You will think back one day and smile. You will find love again my friend. However, how long it takes will depend on how you handle yourself during this break up. Chin up, and hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carnegie Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 I know i should try not to contact her anymore. But that's tough, cuz we have so many same close friends, who was in the same high school, and she is a neighbor of me...and absolutely i still miss her so much...! well, so i just do "no contact rule" and wait? do nothing to get her back? Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Chances are...you will never get her back. If you want to try to get her back through the typical manipulating technique, then yeah, step one is no contact. Insecurity is very unattractive. By behaving in a secure way, by not contacting her...she may wonder what is up and come seeking you. However, this won't work if you crumble, contact her, or act desperate. Let me say, however, that I think it is much healthier to just let her go. I advocate NC as a means to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Women lose feelings for you depending on your behavior. Well, yes and no. Sometimes a man's behavior is the trigger, but plenty of times women simply change their minds. They say it's a woman's prerogative. Personally, I just think it makes those who say that erratic and unreliable, but that's just based on my own experience. YMMV. I advocate NC as a means to heal.I fully concur. NC isn't meant to have the other person come crawling back (though it does happen on occasion). It's a means to let the past go and move forward. It's damn tough, I know, but it's really the only way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carnegie Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 What does "NC" stand for? Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 What does "NC" stand for? NC = No Contact Link to post Share on other sites
llala Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 im sorry to say this. But usually when someone loses feelings for someone , it means they've been replaced by another. This is why Long distance is too hard. Link to post Share on other sites
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