Do good looks pay dividends without any effort?

[Thaddeus]

In his book Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined, author Gordon Patzer argues that those who win the genetic lottery and are considered good looking make more money, are more likely to be happy, less likely to be rejected and have an overall better quality of life than us plain folk.

 

Other studies support the same conclusion:

 

• Even at work, pretty people advance faster than plain
  
• Ugly defendants 'more likely to be found guilty than attractive ones
  
• Survival of the hottest
  
• ...children perceived to be more attractive gain better marks and are given more attention in school
  

This comes to mind because an acquaintance of mine who's very, very hot just seems to have great stuff just fall into her lap. Money comes her way with little effort, she gets free stuff all the time, people do things for her... and she's got a sour, backbiting personality!

 

So do you think it's true? Are looks the primary driver in one's llife? What's your experience, either personally or with people you know at work or in school?

[Els]

I know that the 4th one is false, at least.

 

I was an ugly little duckling back in grade school but I had probably the brightest mind around. Most of the teachers were literally eating out of my palm. But then again I live in Asia where exam results and book-smartness are overrated.

[HappyAgain]

In the short-term yes they do. But how many times have you heard about someone cheating on a really good looking partner? It happens almost everyday. If looks were all that matter, a guy with a 10 girlfriend (and vice versa) would never cheat yet I know many that have.

 

That may be why this girl is bitter. Even though her looks get her the superficial, she never gets anything meaningful from anybody.

[Adunaphel]

My personal experience is that there is a lot of truth in the article.

 

Yet... it is fair to say that many good looking people do a lot of effort to keep their good looks (many gifts of genetics do require some maintenance).

 

Also, good looking people rarely can afford the luxury of going unnoticed.

 

And they get targeted with a lot of envy/jealousy/bitterness/hate. Sometimes even if they do *nothing* to take advantage of their looks.

[Phateless]

I think in general good looking people do have it easier. That's not to say this rule is universal, but IN GENERAL, I think it rings true.

[Jimmy's_Brother]

Yes, I agree with a sense of sadness. Simply put, they have life much easier.

 

As a short-medium height guy, I can't help but notice how much taller guys are respected, too. Women swoon for them, men listen to them.

[laRubiaBonita]

i also agree- that 'prettier' people are treated differently.

 

i am not ugly- i would say average pretty. i was a heavy kid up until about the age of 17 (think over 230lbs.). i lost a ton of weight ( i am about 134 now), and let me tell you total 180 it makes

 

really i didn't think i would be treated all that different- i was still the awesome me i used to be, just less mass. but it's true.

 

my older sis is overweight and we go out all together all the time, we even started testing to see if weight made a difference.... and would i get service faster than she.

 

it's rather sad, but i think most people do pick pretty over ugly. i also think it has something to do with instinct- animals want to attract the prime of the species.... maybe it is not always something one thinks about- but i think the subconscious plays a big role.

[deux ex machina]

I can speak to this from experience, as I've had extensive aesthetic plastic surgery.

 

Frankly? I am surprised at how I am treated now, as compared to before. I am treated a lot better.

 

The reason why I am surprised is that it would seem those that I have heard go on and on about how looks don't matter -- are the very ones I find responding to me most positively.

 

Yet, it's hard to say if it is my being more confident that is the driving factor, or the reaction of others that aid my confidence. Sort of a loop.

 

Two more reasons it is difficult for me to gauge how much of an impact my look has:

 

1. The surgeries I have had have been after the age of 35 - and are "type changing" surgeries. "Type changing" surgeries basically mean that they change your appearance dramatically (as opposed to botox or similar). Anyone who goes through such a thing after 35 is warned it will take a long time, if ever, to get used to your new look. They weren't kidding. It sounds strange, but I still think I look the same way I used to sometimes, and when I look in the mirror it's a bit of a mindf*ck to see someone who doesn't look very unattractive (as I did before).

 

2. Again, this is related to the what I had done: the result is a more "open, friendly" look - so people related to me in a more open and friendly way, since I looks more inviting.

 

So...it's difficult for me to really get a bead on any of it, because I don't know if I'll ever get completely used to the way I look now, and because I am not certain whether or not people react better to me now because I really am more attractive OR simply because I look more approachable and open. Which may be two different things?

 

I know I get more attention everywhere I go. Strangers talk to me more, and assume the best of me.

 

I guess a big part of getting on well in the world is interacting with a lot of people in a positive way, and if so, than yes, I would say my being more attractive than before really has opened a lot of doors.

 

Never let it go unsaid though: it may help open doors, but once the door is open, it's down to the individual to take the opportunities afforded them - or not.

[Lizzie60]

I agree.. attractive people have it much easier..

 

I've seen a few episodes on TV (I forgot the name) of people who were 'disguised' into ugly people or fat people.. and they didn't get the help on the street or when they asked for directions, they were ignored.. etc.. while beautiful people.. people are almost fighting to help them..

 

It's been proven over and over and over..

 

Even kids (babies) will respond to nice faces much more than ugly faces.

[laRubiaBonita]

I can speak to this from experience, as I've had extensive aesthetic plastic surgery.

 

Frankly? I am surprised at how I am treated now, as compared to before. I am treated a lot better.

 

The reason why I am surprised is that it would seem those that I have heard go on and on about how looks don't matter -- are the very ones I find responding to me most positively.

 

Yet, it's hard to say if it is my being more confident that is the driving factor, or the reaction of others that aid my confidence. Sort of a loop.

 

Two more reasons it is difficult for me to gauge how much of an impact my look has:

 

1. The surgeries I have had have been after the age of 35 - and are "type changing" surgeries. "Type changing" surgeries basically mean that they change your appearance dramatically (as opposed to botox or similar). Anyone who goes through such a thing after 35 is warned it will take a long time, if ever, to get used to your new look. They weren't kidding. It sounds strange, but I still think I look the same way I used to sometimes, and when I look in the mirror it's a bit of a mindf*ck to see someone who doesn't look very unattractive (as I did before).

 

2. Again, this is related to the what I had done: the result is a more "open, friendly" look - so people related to me in a more open and friendly way, since I looks more inviting.

 

So...it's difficult for me to really get a bead on any of it, because I don't know if I'll ever get completely used to the way I look now, and because I am not certain whether or not people react better to me now because I really am more attractive OR simply because I look more approachable and open. Which may be two different things?

 

I know I get more attention everywhere I go. Strangers talk to me more, and assume the best of me.

 

I guess a big part of getting on well in the world is interacting with a lot of people in a positive way, and if so, than yes, I would say my being more attractive than before really has opened a lot of doors.

 

Never let it go unsaid though: it may help open doors, but once the door is open, it's down to the individual to take the opportunities afforded them - or not.

 

i agree- especially with the part about looking in the mirror- i still 'see' me as that fat girl i was..... so it's still weird to see me differently- cause i still "see" just me.

 

also the self confidence i have now is what i think projects me differently than before.... i wouldn't make eye contact, etc..... so i am approached more so now than before.

 

it's an interesting change to be on 'the other side'.

[Phateless]

I agree.. attractive people have it much easier..

 

I've seen a few episodes on TV (I forgot the name) of people who were 'disguised' into ugly people or fat people.. and they didn't get the help on the street or when they asked for directions, they were ignored.. etc.. while beautiful people.. people are almost fighting to help them..

 

It's been proven over and over and over..

 

Even kids (babies) will respond to nice faces much more than ugly faces.

 

There was a show on MTV called "Flipped" about that. Very intense. They pulled it after only a few episodes. People couldn't handle it.

[alphamale]

So do you think it's true? Are looks the primary driver in one's llife? What's your experience, either personally or with people you know at work or in school?

i know that generally the better looking a woman is the more vacuous and selfish she is along with having a less developed intellect. there are always exceptions, however.

[carhill]

So do you think it's true? Are looks the primary driver in one's life? What's your experience, either personally or with people you know at work or in school?

 

In society as a whole, likely true. Personally, false. I've never been identified as good looking but, generally, have always been treated decently, so much so that glaring examples of different treatment always stood out to me. One possible mitigative factor is that I have been told that I come across as emotionally open and caring, which people seem to respond positively to. IDK. It all seems so confusing. Maybe I'll know more when I'm dead

[big_girls_rock]

It is true to a certain extent. Even being an overweight attractive female has opened doors for me, but looks only get you so far. If a dumb pretty person took an IQ test compared to an ugly smart person, we all know who would come out with the higher score.

 

Being attractive may...

 

Get you that job and or promotion

Get you out of traffic tickets

Get you a nice sugar daddy to pick up the tabs

 

But, looks fail after a while, the next best young thing comes so fast and you're left with hopefully a great personalilty.

 

Someone mentioned that some beautiful people do get the worst attention. I happen to know someone who is naturally thin (works out constantly too) tanned, tall, and blonde and let me tell you, the looks she gets while she is out from other guys' girlfriends could kill her 10xs over. I mean, all she does is mind her own business and these females (wait staff included) throw her the most unecessary looks and attitudes that you wouldn't want to walk in her shoes no matter how pretty she is. Sometimes the attention can get a bit annoying as well that one often has to prove that they are more than just their genetics.

[D-Lish]

This comes to mind because an acquaintance of mine who's very, very hot just seems to have great stuff just fall into her lap. Money comes her way with little effort, she gets free stuff all the time, people do things for her... and she's got a sour, backbiting personality!

 

 

 

My friend married a girl like this. She's very hot- but she's also a little dumb and her personality sucks ass. She's so crazy angry and mean all the time and people go out of the way to placate her and do things for her. Do I think people would put up with her if she wasn't hot? Probably not.

 

Yes, I tend to agree that attractive people have an advantage in life.

[Thornton]

I would say yes, looks do matter. Not only do more people want to date you if you're cute, their parents and families and friends also like you a lot more if they think their darling so-and-so has landed a good catch, a handsome guy or a pretty girl. I'm not bad looking, and I think it's influenced my life a lot. I'm pretty sure I got accepted onto a masters degree with limited places because the professor who interviewed me thought I was hot. When I did part-time bar work as a student, I got more tips and more shifts because I looked nice behind the bar. I was promoted into a client-facing position at one company years ago because my pretty face was able to persuade clients to spend more money on the software we produced. I think my looks were influential in getting me at least two or three jobs where I was interviewed by men. I know that when I used to teach, I was rather more keen to spend extra time tutoring the good looking guys and pretty girls. When I went out with friends, if the bar was packed they would send me because I always got served faster. I've also been asked to exchange things at stores for people, because a winning smile can often persuade a sales assistant to bend the rules slightly. In general people seem to treat me nicer when I've made an effort to look nice, as opposed to when I'm slumming it in a baggy hoody and specs.

 

It seems to me that people generally respond better to someone who is easy on the eye - they're a pleasure to have around, in the same way it's a pleasure to have a work of art on your wall. All other things being equal, most people will choose an attractive person over an unattractive one - in fact they would probably choose an attractive person even if the unattractive person was slightly better qualified.

[Jimmy's_Brother]

Well, aren't you special.

[Thornton]

No, not special really, just reasonably lucky in the genetic lottery. If you're given something that can help you get ahead in life, you use it. I wouldn't exactly categorise myself as a ten out of ten or anything, but I know there are some situations in life where being okay looking has made a huge difference. If looks didn't make a difference, people wouldn't spend so much money on primping themselves up. The fact is, a pair of false eyelashes and a good bra can make a huge difference in life.

[shadowplay]

I would say yes, looks do matter. Not only do more people want to date you if you're cute, their parents and families and friends also like you a lot more if they think their darling so-and-so has landed a good catch, a handsome guy or a pretty girl. I'm not bad looking, and I think it's influenced my life a lot. I'm pretty sure I got accepted onto a masters degree with limited places because the professor who interviewed me thought I was hot. When I did part-time bar work as a student, I got more tips and more shifts because I looked nice behind the bar. I was promoted into a client-facing position at one company years ago because my pretty face was able to persuade clients to spend more money on the software we produced. I think my looks were influential in getting me at least two or three jobs where I was interviewed by men. I know that when I used to teach, I was rather more keen to spend extra time tutoring the good looking guys and pretty girls. When I went out with friends, if the bar was packed they would send me because I always got served faster. I've also been asked to exchange things at stores for people, because a winning smile can often persuade a sales assistant to bend the rules slightly. In general people seem to treat me nicer when I've made an effort to look nice, as opposed to when I'm slumming it in a baggy hoody and specs.

 

It seems to me that people generally respond better to someone who is easy on the eye - they're a pleasure to have around, in the same way it's a pleasure to have a work of art on your wall. All other things being equal, most people will choose an attractive person over an unattractive one - in fact they would probably choose an attractive person even if the unattractive person was slightly better qualified.

 

Ugh, this is what I hate about people, and you seem almost proud. I can't believe you admit to being more keen as a teacher to teach the good-looking students. That's pretty disgusting. If looks played such a role in my success in life, I def wouldn't be proud of it.

[Phateless]

Ugh, this is what I hate about people, and you seem almost proud. I can't believe you admit to being more keen as a teacher to teach the good-looking students. That's pretty disgusting. If looks played such a role in my success in life, I def wouldn't be proud of it.

 

I disagree. I think she's observing herself, I don't sense anything in that post about being proud of her behavior. In fact, I think admitting to favoring the nicer looking students takes a lot of guts. It's probably something she noticed herself doing, not something she decided to do.

 

Recognition is the first step to recovery.

 

She's not saying that she thinks good looking people should be treated better - she's merely stating that they are. It's unfortunate, but true.

 

At least that's what I gleaned from her post...

[Phateless]

No, not special really, just reasonably lucky in the genetic lottery. If you're given something that can help you get ahead in life, you use it. I wouldn't exactly categorise myself as a ten out of ten or anything, but I know there are some situations in life where being okay looking has made a huge difference. If looks didn't make a difference, people wouldn't spend so much money on primping themselves up. The fact is, a pair of false eyelashes and a good bra can make a huge difference in life.

 

Gaining 25 lbs of muscle, getting contacts, cutting my hair differently, and buying some nice new clothes made a world of difference in how the world treats me.

 

It made me angry at first, but then I realized that people respond to attractiveness, myself included.

[Trialbyfire]

What are good looks? It's highly subjective, no? While sure, there are people who appeal to a number of others, there are very rarely individuals who have universal appeal. This includes personality. What one person might find too aggressive and "bitchy/nasty", is what another finds assertive and a go-getter, thus has stuff appear to fall into his/her lap.

[shadowplay]

What are good looks? It's highly subjective, no? While sure, there are people who appeal to a number of others, there are very rarely individuals who have universal appeal. This includes personality. What one person might find too aggressive and "bitchy/nasty", is what another finds assertive and a go-getter, thus has stuff appear to fall into his/her lap.

 

I think personality is more subjective than looks.

 

I really don't believe looks are as subjective as people make them out to be. There's a margin of error in how people "rate" others, but people will usually agree on general ballparks: unattractive, average, attractive, very attractive, etc.

[shadowplay]

 

Recognition is the first step to recovery.

 

She's not saying that she thinks good looking people should be treated better - she's merely stating that they are. It's unfortunate, but true.

 

At least that's what I gleaned from her post...

 

I don't get the sense from what she wrote that she has any desire to change her behavior. I get the sense she's fully aware of favoring more attractive students, and doesn't care.

[alphamale]

What are good looks? It's highly subjective, no?

most people agree on who is attractive and who is not