CM2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 davidindallas: a little competition sounds good. lets try and see who holds out longest. she just walked by my desk again. three times today! i wonder why. she certainly has no reason to be on this side of the office. i suppose she is checking me out to see what my behavior is like. i just smiled the last time she walked by. i am not going to act like a sore loser over it. but i still have not contacted her. thanks devil inside. trying too! I'm with that, im on day 5. She did send me an email on I think Monday saying "I see you took me off as your friend on facebook" and I didn't respond so I was proud of myself. Stay strong fellas Link to post Share on other sites
fofiffs Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Dude, lol, our lives are so in parallel it's not even funny. I ride too (though I haven't taken my bike to work lately). She used to stare at me when I warmed mine up too. Haven't talked to or seen her in over a week at work and ya know what? It's been GOOD. Her voice used to sooth me, now it just makes me cringe I can do without seeing or hearing from her again. Indifference is a good point to be in your life. You'll get there one day man. Hey Caliguy I ride all the time too. Lately I've been riding so much. It takes my mind of everything thats going on around me especially my ex. Good to know there are riders on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
carnegie Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Day #3 NC, she always txt me "Good night" at night. I dont know if i should reply her. Link to post Share on other sites
piticu Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Don't. I think she's just checking to see if you will answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Sbrizio Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Hey Caliguy I ride all the time too. Lately I've been riding so much. It takes my mind of everything thats going on around me especially my ex. Good to know there are riders on LS. Hi guys i ride too I started after my break-up. It's the single thing i appreciate most to help me detach my mind. Stay strong, work on yourself, and keep NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trueblue72ny Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 in the morning of day 8 nc. i feel numb. checking out music on youtube at work. real productive. today im on day 20 of nc. im proud that i made it this far. i plan to celebrate friday night when ive made it 3 weeks. its friday redy2 - congrats DOnt read into things too much. Just try to act as if she is not there. You might be doing NC but the eye contact is sort of breaking NC as it still makes you think what she is thinking. its hard trying to pretend she is not there. i find myself standing up looking at her too. its like an invisible force pulling on me. i was wondering about that. her eye contact does keep me wondering about her. she stays on my mind. Dude, lol, our lives are so in parallel it's not even funny. I ride too (though I haven't taken my bike to work lately). She used to stare at me when I warmed mine up too. Haven't talked to or seen her in over a week at work and ya know what? It's been GOOD. Her voice used to sooth me, now it just makes me cringe I can do without seeing or hearing from her again. Indifference is a good point to be in your life. You'll get there one day man. thanks cali. thats good to know theres more than one on the boat. this one got me hooked good. not contacting her sucks! but i also feel it shows strength of character. and thats got to be respected on some level. i speak to NO ONE at work about her and i. no one knows we talk or knows the things we go thru. it makes it easier in case we wind up talking. i ride everywhere i can. ive got a rocket and the sense of freedom i get gives me a distraction. i am not a crazy rider by any means. but this morning i downshifted while doing 40mph, hit the throttle to pass and the back tire spun out. i didnt even mean too. its only a 600 but it has all the power i will ever want. I'm with that, im on day 5. She did send me an email on I think Monday saying "I see you took me off as your friend on facebook" and I didn't respond so I was proud of myself. Stay strong fellas good job CM. let us know if you hear back from her again. curious if she keeps trying to contact after you not responding. Day #3 NC, she always txt me "Good night" at night. I dont know if i should reply her. i guess that depends on how you feel about her. i tend not to ignore anyone that talks to me. i typically respond. and i like to be nice. but i dont necessarily always respond the first time back either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trueblue72ny Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 well david, you won the nc contest. it was too much for me i responded to what i perceive as the indirect attempts to get my attention for the last three days. just earlier her and a co-worker were goofing around at the end of the hallway, saying 'excuse me, excuse me' kinda loud as i was with my back turned (not on purpose). maybe it was for someone else, maybe not, i dont know, but i turned around to look and they were laughing. so i emailed her after 8 days today and said hey goof ball. i am thinking about who i am and i dont want to come across as a sore loser. i am just going to do my best to put on a good face and laugh and joke around. it isnt going to help my situation with whatever happens being grumpy. who wants to talk to someone like that. if she is talking to some new guy he's not acting like a grump. and i dont want to lose out over my attitude. i need to have a great attitiude and do my best to show her its not affecting me. it is sooo hard. cali guy if anyone knows what i am dealing with it's you. its like the carrot is being dangled in front of my nose. Link to post Share on other sites
jv032889 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Trueblue, I believe you and I will have the hardest time with NC...My ex and I work together as well. She just called my work phone I had no choice but to answer (not knowing it was her). I feel like a failure right now. I only went two days NC but it felt good because I've been focusing on myself. Whatever you do just make sure your doing it to make YOUSELF a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
davidindallas Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Hey trueblue your post made me laugh because i emailed her today too. Ironic aint it. I just emailed asking how she's been. But its pretty funny how we bot broke it today. Link to post Share on other sites
davidindallas Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 I dont know about you trueblue but i feel like emailing her was a mistake. Now i have to start over on NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trueblue72ny Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 Trueblue, I believe you and I will have the hardest time with NC...My ex and I work together as well. She just called my work phone I had no choice but to answer (not knowing it was her). I feel like a failure right now. I only went two days NC but it felt good because I've been focusing on myself. Whatever you do just make sure your doing it to make YOUSELF a better person. hey jv, always glad to hear about others who are going thru the same thing. it is so difficult when you care. i am beginning to think tho that not responding may be the way to go. not because i dont care. i think about her all day. but if she wants to go out and see what else life has to offer, i dont want to provide a safety net for her. ive been doing that for her since we broke up. and it seems like its getting ot the point were she thinks i am just going to be there whenever she wants. and that i believe is how you wind up in the friend zone. she knows how i feel. Hey trueblue your post made me laugh because i emailed her today too. Ironic aint it. I just emailed asking how she's been. But its pretty funny how we bot broke it today. dave, that is too much. i guess the contest ended in a stalemate. I dont know about you trueblue but i feel like emailing her was a mistake. Now i have to start over on NC. i think that since our talk friday, that i should try my best (again) not too initiate communication. not because i dont care , but she was telling me again she wants to be single and see what else is out there. our conversation went well. she knows i care, but if she is truly going to put herself out there, i dont think i should be there as a safety net. that way i am not settnig myself up for hurt. and if by some chance down the road she decides she misses me, than she will make it clearly known. like caliguy and others on here are always saying, if they are interested they will almost be beating down your door to get to you. now comes the hard part. sticking ot that. i hope i have the strength to when the time comes. i will probably fail many times going forward. she calls or emails and i cant help but to want to respond. some time will go by and i will probably see her trying ot get my attention again. or if there is trouble with her new guy. it is difficult to blow off someone you care about. so hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
redy2 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 well i made it 21 days of nc. but she emailed me yesterday wanting to go thursday night so we can talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trueblue72ny Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 21 days is a long time redy. congrats on making it that long. im back to starting all over again. today will be day 3 (again). it keeps wrenching me, going back and forth like this. some time will go by and i wont hear from her. than she'll start coming around. if things go well with this new guy than i fully expect not too hear from her for quite awhile (all the more reason for me not to be there). i am praying that they wont go well, but i cant pin my hopes on it. so what do you think your's wants? Link to post Share on other sites
redy2 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 true, mine wants money probably because she told me she got fired last week. her cell phone has been shut off. she cant afford her kid a birthday present. she got fired cause she missed to much work running around doing who knows what. and now that the s*** has hit the fan she wants to be nice again. she is suppose to try and get another job today. but with her being 4 months pregnant i doubt anyone will hire her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trueblue72ny Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 true, mine wants money probably because she told me she got fired last week. her cell phone has been shut off. she cant afford her kid a birthday present. she got fired cause she missed to much work running around doing who knows what. and now that the s*** has hit the fan she wants to be nice again. she is suppose to try and get another job today. but with her being 4 months pregnant i doubt anyone will hire her. thats a tough situation . she is not pregnant with yours? Link to post Share on other sites
redy2 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 true, she is pregnant with mine. but the reason we are not together is she feels she is to young to be settled down. wants to explore her options. feels like she is missing out on her youth. she is 21. and has a soon to be 3 yr old. her issue with me was that she wanted to stay with me me keep her up pay for daycare for her kid watch him etc. while she went out and did what she wanted when she wanted. and i shouldnt have an issue with it. when i told her that was a pile of crap she started saying i didnt care about her and all this rubish. so she moved out and i went nc till she im'd me on messenger yesterday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trueblue72ny Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 true, she is pregnant with mine. but the reason we are not together is she feels she is to young to be settled down. wants to explore her options. feels like she is missing out on her youth. she is 21. and has a soon to be 3 yr old. her issue with me was that she wanted to stay with me me keep her up pay for daycare for her kid watch him etc. while she went out and did what she wanted when she wanted. and i shouldnt have an issue with it. when i told her that was a pile of crap she started saying i didnt care about her and all this rubish. so she moved out and i went nc till she im'd me on messenger yesterday. she is pregnant with your child and wants to explore her options? man that is though to deal with. first i dont even know why that is on her mind. but again that is me. but you now have a responsbility to your child. maybe things will change with her in time? Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Wow, that's ridiculous. Let me add up. I am on... Day 74 of NC 74 Days of no contact. It gets worse before it gets better. Just remember. Strong in the broken places, man. Gotta reknit and start afresh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trueblue72ny Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 74 days? that is huge. i have never gone that long, close (2 months). i have a feeling it is going to get worse (for me) before it gets better. i am on day 3 (again) and altho i am sort of feeling a ok right now, give it some time (a couple/fews weeks) and i am sure i will start feeling like i am in the bowels of hell again. add to that her being at my work walking around making noise to get my attention. im going to have to reach deep down in my heart/soul and find some strength from somewhere i didnt know existed to get me thru this one. not looking forward to whats coming soon. Link to post Share on other sites
adamt Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 I am on 2 months plus 1 or 2 weeks. it does get easier slightly. Got used to it. Do want to contact the ex but the thought of going back to square one in a right state stops me. Bit easier for me as my ex lives in a different town and the chances of bumping into her are once or twice a month. But as of yet no seen or heard from her. I see it as a personal test and the mental equivalent of training for a marathon. Eventually i know i will get there. Whats hard is that i'm 38 and that there doesnt seem as many suitable women around as a few years ago. Keep NC and just dont let the ex win the battle. Look it as if each time you break NC the ex is laughing at you Link to post Share on other sites
Author trueblue72ny Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 thanks, i wish i felt indifferent. this time around there is a new guy involved. that has not happened before. whether or not something happens between them - who knows. but i just kind of feel like that is a good reason not too initate communication. whats the point ya know? this time i have to go the whole nine yards and really make an attempt at getting her out of my head. i feel like you have to teach yourself how too think differently. she has walked by this morning looking - i wasnt expecitng that. i didnt respond to anything. in my mind they are both very happy and things are working out good. there is really no point in me holding out hope. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 I felt the same way. If she came back, she would have to break through alot of walls I've built up to get there. And even then, it may not be there for me anymore. I wish her the best, but know, one day, things will be brighter. 74 days is a ton. It's a long time to go without someone I shared every aspect of my life with. I may be a shadow of my former self, but eventually, I'll be brighter than before. Just have to bear the burden, and clean the mess. Link to post Share on other sites
CM2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Ok my NC'n friends I'm on Day 9 it's been going some what well, her and I have similar friends on FB and I've seen pix that they have taken with her in them this past weekend. At first it was hard but today it's been ok. Now I have a question my bday is a lil over a week away now if she was to call me or text me to say Happy Bday would I break the NC by responding to the text with "Thank you," and leaving it at that?? By the way she hasn't hit me up which is good and not so good but im still very much holding strong. I think now so much time has passed that I think calling wouldn't do no of us any good..... Link to post Share on other sites
adamt Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 The good thing about NC is that it helps to keep your imagination and analysis under control. If you don't know any new stuff about the ex then your brain has nothing new process. Once you find a bit of info(no matter how small) about then it kicks off all the memories and you start imagining whats going on. Bit like having crisps and peanuts in the house. If you dont have any in the house then you are ok and dont crave them. Buy a few packets and you see them and just want one packet. Then you get the taste and want another packet and so on until you feel sick. I guess its similar with the ex, you find a bit of info about her then you crave more and more. Until you are in a mess again. What you don't know cant do you any harm. Link to post Share on other sites
davidindallas Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 hey trueblue we really have to stick to our guns this time bro no BS. That goes to everyone too, dont break your NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts