charlie Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 [font=times new roman][/font][color=black][/color] dear anybody... wow this is complicated, i swore i'd never do anything like this but here goes... Mary and i have been together for about 3 years now. Before we got together we were pretty tight friends. I'd always been attracted to her and i never would've guessed that the feeling was mutual. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and she had never really been involved in a good relationship. One night, about a month after i'd been dumped by my really evil ex-girlfriend, mary and i "got together". i was actually pretty ruined over it at first. I felt i had destroyed my friendship with her all for some nice cheap "feel better about myself" sex. Anyhoo...I was wrong and mary and i have for the most part enjoyed a positive relationship. The trouble starts about 3 months ago. Mary and I would every now and then go out to a British pub and chill out. During one of our beer excursions, Mary ran into a guy that she used to see before we got together. They never really had a serious relationship and Mary always spoke fondly of him. However, way before we got together Mary got into a big fight with this guy's girlfriend. This guy had been going around his girl's back and was sleeping with Mary and atleast two other girls on the side. I don't know the circumstances but obviously this guy's not much of a winner if he's playing girls like it's no big thing and feelings don't matter. Anyhoo, the fight happens and she doesn't hear from him until the random encounter a few months ago. Some friend. I've hung out with him and he seems okay, we get along alright all things considered. What's killing me is now that Mary's rekindled her friendship with this guy i can't help but see red. I voiced my concerns over this and mary stressed to me that whatever they had between them is over, that i should let it go. Mary hangs out there about every other night now. Most of the time without me. Between my job and school i don't have the free time that she does. Sometimes she'll be out until 5 in the morning. I'd call it a pretty safe bet that during these late night/mornings that the only reason she's staying so late is because he's there. One time he even called her at 2 in the morning for advice on how to detach from his current "relationship". In 3 days i was supposed to drive mary, her friend her sister and this guy to a punk show but because of work i can't go. i told Mary this and told her to give the guy my ticket and she sounded almost happy to hear it. (possibly a result of the beer, yeah she was at the bar...) She didn't sound too dissappointed about it. I don't know...maybe my jealousy is just getting the best of me. I love Mary and i respect her. If she dumped me I would get on with my life but i love her. I want to be wrong about this. I can't believe she doesn't see what she's doing to me. I'm sorry that this has gone on as long as it has. ^_^ It's probably like 3 pages long or something. All i know is i have no one i feel comfortable telling this to. i feel ridiculously alone in this. sorry for the rambling. ...charlie... Link to post Share on other sites
sweetmind20 Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 hello, charlie I can definitely understand why you are worried about Mary's current "friendship" with this guy. How long have you two been together? Perhaps Mary does not yet consider you two in a committed relationship. Have you ever talked about this before? If you haven't, i think now is the time to do it. I'm sure she loves you very much.. what struck me was the kind of guy she is allowing herself to be around. Frankly, i think you should be more concerned with this guy will try something rather than whether she wants him. the fact that he uses girls and tosses them out of his bed when he gets tired and want more variety, is indicative of the kind of person he is. honestly, few people who are like this to begin with actually change. i think you should be upfront with mary and ask her what she is expecting will come from this so-called friendship. does he just have a convenient place to hang and free alcohol, or is she looking for a real friend in him? i think in this situation, the only thing you can do is be upfront and honest with her. i hope for the best. keep me posted... Link to post Share on other sites
Author charlie Posted November 16, 2003 Author Share Posted November 16, 2003 yep. i guess this is for the best. mary and i had a big argument over basically nothing and she moved out. oh well. i pretty much figured this wasn't permanent anyway, as much as i wished that it would be. ah the irony. she's wanting to major in psychology but she can't even resolve herself to attempt to fix our crisis. i wish i could believe that we could still be friends but i don't see that in the cards anymore. life sucks. the worst thing about it is that she actually believed that i might fly into a rage and break some of her "personal things". i think the only thing i've ever "flew into a rage" ever in our entire relationship was when our cat (mine now i think...) pist all over my clean clothes. man i could go for a drink, too bad last call was two hours ago! Link to post Share on other sites
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