School

[Kristy19]

So my senior year of high school I didn't get into the school I wanted to go to so I decided that I would go to a community college because the state I live has a guarantee admission policy. That means if you get your associate degree for any of the community colleges you have automatic admissions to all the universities in state and selected schools outside of state. I told my mom I wanted to do this because that way I could go to the school I wanted to go to since freshmen year of high school. Well she was fine with that but the night before graduation my mom told me she didn't want to go to a community college because she doesn't want me living with her. My aunt told her about the school she went to in Alabama 20+ years ago and my mom assuming that I would like it wanted me to go there. The school is mostly black. I've told my family I have no interest in going to a black school countless of times and it seemed as if they could comprehend that. Now I have nothing against my race but I just don't get along with most of them. Well after I told her I want to stick with my idea she gave me four choices. 1. I got to this crappy school in Alabama for a year if I don't like i then I could transfer. 2. I can go to Kansas State ( another school I got into) but I would have pay for everything my self. 3. I could stick to my idea but I would have to pay for rent, utilities, school and food. or 4. Move out and figure out everything myself. At the time I didn't have a job so the only logically choice was the crappy school.

Went there for a year and hated it. Met great friends but education wise? If I wanted high school all over again I would of failed my senior year. So now that I decided I wanted to transfer I applied to school in West Virginia. I got in but it cost a lot of money so I decided that I would go with my originally plan for the start and go to a community college. Well that didn't sit well with her. She comes up with reasons to why she wants me to go different schools away from her but she never says the truth. The truth is that she doesn't want me living with her. Well when I told I was going to a community college she told me that I would have to pay for everything myself and pay for rent and utilities and food.

When my family found out about this they've been calling me and one of aunts before I came home for summer break called me and yelled and cussed me out because I wasn't returning to the school in Alabama. Well now she just found out that I I'm going to a community college and I've been avoiding her because I don't want to here her mouth. I just want some advice on what I should do. I would move out but I don't have the money right now. I've talked to friends about it and they think that if my family is treating me like this then maybe its time to move on with my life without them.

So I want outsiders opinions what should I do?

[whimsical_memory]

Kristy, sometimes the people we feel are supposed to be there and support us are quite often the ones that let us down the most. More than likely, the fact that you are desiring to continue your education is scaring your family. They feel that you are going to be leaving not only your family behind, but also a part of your culture. I am not sure what area of Alabama you are from, but I used to live at the very edge of Alabama (could sticka toe into the Gulf of Mexico), so I do know that in that area, education is almost looked upon as a bad thing. Good luck, and I wish you all the best.

 

Do not ever give up on your dreams, because ultimately you are the only one that can make your life what you want it to become.

[Chubbi]

Hey Kristy.

 

First, I think you should go to a school- not for the social scene- but to get the best education. Always make that your priority and then you can deal with social scene in school. Secondly, if your mother is adamant about you not living with her, I wouldn't want to since her attitude will cause other issues down the line. My opinion would be to go out of state to a college that you choose- I'm not sure if you want to deal with student loans though.

 

What happened to the relationship with your mother? Is there anyway you can repair it? Also, you can't keep switching around in college just because a school reminds you of highschool. You need to wait it out and try hard. First year is tough for a lot of people. I don't know how you can do first year again when you get to a new school- you'll still be the new girl.

 

No race of people are going to jump to be your friend and no race of people are you going to get along with better than the other. I certainly hope you push the boundaries to interact with people outside of your race, but don't think that any race has different and better personalities within it. I can see if you're attracted outside of your race, but I'm not sure your issue is with people of darker skin tone rather than people you grew up with.

[quankanne]

don't second-guess yourself, kiddo – if your plans are to attend a community college, then transfer to a four-year, stick to that goal. You'll get a lotta bank for your buck at a community college, and as you point out, it'll help you get into the school you want.

 

meanwhile, don't let anyone (especially FAMILY) distract you from that goal. It might be hard having to set up house on your own, etc, but believe me, the feeling of accomplishment you'll get is the sweetest thing you'll ever know. Look into student housing (dorms if they offer them on the comm. college campus) and financial aid. You can do it, and the school will help.

 

as for putting up with your relatives, sweetly remind them that if they intend to foot the bill for College X, they need to butt out of your business. That it's not about THEM, it's about YOU and YOUR decisions. Then unplug the phone.