jumi Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 my SO and I have been in a long distance relationship from the start... we go to colleges 2 ish hrs apart, see eachother on the weekends and over the summer, so not bad at all. but he is studying abroad right now for ten weeks with a group of guys sharing a house together. now back in college he has his own room and we often have the privacy to talk alone. but while he is studying abroad, he is sharing a room, and his roommates make me slightly uncomfortable... i dont know them and they are a little rowdy and often drinking (my SO doesnt drink). I am just upset that I will not get alone time to talk to him, and I am unhappy about talking to him everyday infront of those group of guys. i was thinking one solution would be to just email each other every day and then once or twice a week, have a webcam date where he just shuts himself in his room and for like a half hour we just have that time to ourselves. part of me thinks this is a good idea but im afraid i'll miss seeing him on webcam every day =/. im going to talk to him about it, but what are your thoughts? my biggest fear is getting less connected to him, i dont want to lose him Link to post Share on other sites
Cavey Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 i'd say go ahead and do what you have planned there. email him every day keep each other informed on whats going on in each others life. if he wants to go hang out with his guy friends let him, it dosn't mean he dosn't love you. Away time is good some times. I try to go out with my friends atleast every other weekend and it isn't hindering mine and my gf's relationship. you have to realize you are both apart and have lives too. having seperate lives from each other is a good thing you don't need to be "up each others butt's 24/7." you do however need to make time for the other person. when i get home from going out with my friends on the weekends i come home and spend time with her even if its just a short phone call to talk about what i did that night and what she did. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 have a webcam date where he just shuts himself in his room Why can't he do that when he talks to you now? Even if he is just talking on the phone - he could still arrange privacy sometimes. -- ? And 10 weeks isn't very long so at least you have that going for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jumi Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 if he wants to go hang out with his guy friends let him, it dosn't mean he dosn't love you. Away time is good some times. I definitely agree with you on that point, I didn't mean to make that impression. I strongly believe that if you can't trust in your love that you are jealous or too impatient for them to go out with friends, then the relationship isnt healthy. I don't mind at all when he is with his friends. Back at college here in the states we are often chatting online in a room with his roomies, who I know and am comfortable around so I have no problem. But infront of these guys, they are either distracting to him and cant really have a good conversation or im uncomfortable around them. Island Girl - youre right, 10 weeks isnt that long especialy in comparison to how long some of you are away. This is the longest I have ever been away so it's a challenge for me. But I guess I would feel guilty making him shut himself in a room every night to talk to me when his roomies are hanging out together in the common room. i think i'd be more comfortable setting aside a couple nights a week to be alone and then just emailing him. he works a 9-5 job over there so he gets in late after walking around the countryside and wakes up early, i feel bad to impede on his chill time with friends. but maybe one thing i could do is ask him to find privacy for the last 5/10 min of the conversation to say goodnights and i love you's and all? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 i feel bad to impede on his chill time with friends. but maybe one thing i could do is ask him to find privacy for the last 5/10 min of the conversation to say goodnights and i love you's and all? While I don't share your perspective about the time away from his friends (30 minutes is nothing when he is living with these guys and sees them for hours and hours on end everyday) I think the private time to get the sweet nothings accomplished would be a great idea for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Bayern Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 my SO and I have been in a long distance relationship from the start... we go to colleges 2 ish hrs apart, see eachother on the weekends and over the summer, so not bad at all. but he is studying abroad right now for ten weeks with a group of guys sharing a house together. now back in college he has his own room and we often have the privacy to talk alone. but while he is studying abroad, he is sharing a room, and his roommates make me slightly uncomfortable... i dont know them and they are a little rowdy and often drinking (my SO doesnt drink). I am just upset that I will not get alone time to talk to him, and I am unhappy about talking to him everyday infront of those group of guys. i was thinking one solution would be to just email each other every day and then once or twice a week, have a webcam date where he just shuts himself in his room and for like a half hour we just have that time to ourselves. part of me thinks this is a good idea but im afraid i'll miss seeing him on webcam every day =/. im going to talk to him about it, but what are your thoughts? my biggest fear is getting less connected to him, i dont want to lose him You will not lose him. Perhaps you may talk to him less, but it will be okay - you just need to get used to it after a while. Best of luck - it could be much worse. Link to post Share on other sites
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