Goatsbreath Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 HI, I posted my situation on here a while ago. Girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me with a guy 20 years older then the two of us. Anyway, I found a lot of things out about her character that I never imagined, realized, or ever could begin to understand. She still says she loves me and bla bla and needs some space and what not. Ok- so I already know the thing to do. I have to move on, shes done to many things and I know she still is talking and seeing this guy even though she will tell me she is not. SHE LIES!!! She has lied throughout our entire relationship. Our relationship is basically founded on lies. Ok- so here it comes to the moving on part. Its been about 3 months sense this has been going on. A few days before Halloween I told her I Could not talk with her or anything, that I could never trust her, and her behavior just plain disgust me. This guy is 20 years older. She is 28. She called once on Halloween and wished me a Halloween on my answering machine but I never called her back. Ok, so Its been a little over 2 weeks and we have not talked. I am having a lot of trouble though, theres been a lot of times I feel the urge to call and I know its a mistake. The one thing that is not helping is these DREAMS. I keep dreaming that I find out she is cheating on me or I catch her with this guy or just some kind of bad dream about the situation. Every night I have these dreams. This has never happened to me before in any relationship. Sleep use to be my escape. Now, every day I wake up I wake up miserable and immediately feeling the weight of the situation crushing down upon my day. Is this normal, anyone else keep having dreams. Can I stop them anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 Potentially. There is something called lucid dreaming where you can actually control what happens in your dreams. Throughout the day and before you fall asleep, tell yourself, "I control my own dreams." Stuff like that. Your mind is your mind and you can control it and what you dream, just tell yourself that over and over and over and over again and it might work. MIGHT. I've done it before, it's pretty cool. Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 Trying to get over something as stressful as a relationship can affect a person in many many ways...... yes kevin is right there is such a thing called lucid dreaming..... and ultinately you can gain control over your dreams..... this website may help http://www.fortunecity.com/greenfield/bp/890/lucid.html hope that helps..... Link to post Share on other sites
BraveGirl Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 I too have been having terrible dreams. They all have loss as a common thread, people I know dying etc ! I was working in Africa 2 years ago and am now having recurrent nightmares about dreadful things I saw. 2 years later. I somehow blame it on my ex for opening up wounds. But when something terrible happens in your life it tends to bring back into focus past pain. Also our minds are working overtime during this heartbreak time, and it is inevitably going to carry on during our sleep time. Link to post Share on other sites
charlie Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 jeez, i'm sorry to say this but it's actually reassuring to hear i'm not the only one being plagued by dreams of an ex. i understand how dreams can completely ruin a promising day, as this morning my perfect dream gave way to my terrible reality. it was so nice, until i awoke i'd completely forgotten we'd broken up. life is cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
BklynGuy Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Sometimes dreams are warnings. Take my ex for example. When we first got together 4 1/2 years ago, she was going on vacation to cancun. I felt sick to my stomach and kept getting visions of her screwing around. Everytime she went away, I would feel sick to my stomach. It stopped mostly this year. I knew she was cheating. She broke up w/me last year as soon as I told her I was going to quit my job. This is after 3 years together. We were laying together in bed sleeping, and I woke up in a cold sweat. My dream said "ENEMY!ENEMY!ENEMY!" I didn't listen. I also had a dream of being her leading me into an alleyway with one way in. At the end of the alley were 3 men waiting to pounce on me and beat me up. I now see the alleyway was the final year of my relationship with her. It wasn't the same. She thought I cheated on her (didn't) and she decided to shack up w/someone else and keep me on the side. I shouldv'e listened to my head & not my heart. Emotions come from the more primitive part of the brain, while thinking and logic come from the more advanced area. Do yourself a favor and heed the warnings. Link to post Share on other sites
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