scabaret Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Ok, so yesterday my boyfriend of two years brought up the topic of marriage. Of course this made me really happy, as I have been considering it myself lately. What's the problem? Well, he told me that his grandmother, who raised him, is going to give him her old wedding ring to give to his future fiance. This means a lot to him, as he is really close to his grandmother. The problem is that the ring is gold, and I absolutely HATE gold. I can't stand it. If I have to wear this ring the rest of my life, I want it to be silver or platinum, or even white gold. But I don't know how to tell him this, it would break his heart and I would look like a selfish cow. Any ideas what I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Maybe see about taking it to a jeweler and having it custom crafted to more suit your tastes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author scabaret Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 hmm well that's always an option, I hadn't thought of that. I don't know how he would react to it, but I suppose it's better than asking for an all new ring altogether! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Liquid9898 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 hmm well that's always an option, I hadn't thought of that. I don't know how he would react to it, but I suppose it's better than asking for an all new ring altogether! Thanks! Dip it in silver and than make some correction to it to make it your style. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 My bother and his wife did something similar. They had two rings: one of her grandmothers, and one of his. They took the stones from them, made a new setting from the two old settings and then added a third stone to represent the unique nature of their own love. It is a beautiful ring - perfectly balanced and well restructured, while keeping all the same components of the older rings. Link to post Share on other sites
shunter Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 tell him thanks but no thanks. if it is that important to you, then speak up !! sounds like a cheap skate if he wont buy you a real ring Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I think he would be upset if you altered the ring. My 2 cents. I could be wrong. I would ask him.. I think its a symbol of love for his gramma. You could say " This is a lovely ring but not my style. May we alter it or pick another ring ?" Link to post Share on other sites
onthebrinkofitall Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 Have the ring rhodium plated. You'll have to have it done every 6 - 12 months, depending on the wear and tear your ring gets. It sounds important to him and you're lucky to have a guy that wants to give you something to sentimental. I don't think he's a cheap skate. I think it's sweet. Honestly, marriage is so much more than a ring. If you love this man unconditionally and want to spend the rest of your life with him, is it really worth it to risk a fight over a piece of jewelry? Maybe it's because I'm married and I know there are much larger issues ahead of you so it seems like such a small thing to compromise on. Mention getting it rhodium plated. Just say that you love the ring but that you're not a fan of yellow gold. Honestly, if you guys are engaged, he should know things like this about you. It'll still be his grandmother's ring, just with a bit of your flair added to it. Sounds like a compromise to me. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Vegas777 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Tell him you don't think its fair you wear his grandmother's ring. Then add that it may be more appropriate to take the gold and melt it into a ring for HIM. That way he will always be reminded of the special bond he had with her yadda yadda yadda. Link to post Share on other sites
SierraRose Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 You could have 2 rings...one you pick out and his g'mas. During the ceremony, have him put BOTH on your finger for totally symbollic purposes. Keep G'mas safe n sound, and were yours everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Would you rather have him or the ring? All kidding aside, yes it is important that you like the ring on your finger. IF this is going to be a huge issue between you two (if he won't allow resetting, restoring, etc) then I say just bite the bullett and love the man, and grow to love the ring. Seriously. If this is your biggest issue, there is no reason to split hairs. I have a feeling it's not about him being too cheap to buy you a ring, but more that his grandma would like him to give it to his fiance. And him being the sweet loving grand-son that he, he wants to make her happy. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Well, he told me that his grandmother, who raised him, is going to give him her old wedding ring to give to his future fiance. This means a lot to him, as he is really close to his grandmother.When you heard that story, what was your first feeling? Go with that... My instinct is that there is incompatibility in your future, but perhaps resolvable. More resolvable if you're young and open-minded. Based on the meat of your OP, I'm sensing differing emotional setpoints. Link to post Share on other sites
leejaedong Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I would suggest taking it to a jeweler and having it custom crafted to your liking. Although it is hard considering the situation. Speak out though. I'm sure that if you both discuss about it, everything would turnout ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Plse, plse don't melt down a family heirloom, whether it's costly or not. The sentimental value is priceless. Why not wear this one with pride and love for the first few years, then when you've been married for a number of years, get a new one? Keep this one for your child(ren). Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I totally agree with TBF (as usual) do not alter a family heirloom! To tell you the truth - if this is the worst problem in your life, you are truly blessed. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Plse, plse don't melt down a family heirloom, whether it's costly or not. The sentimental value is priceless. Why not wear this one with pride and love for the first few years, then when you've been married for a number of years, get a new one? Keep this one for your child(ren). Partly agree. My SIL keeps "trading up" her engagement ring which is a very tacky approach. You need to deal with this now but may be the compromise is as TBF says - future generations. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts