about men's "chaser" attitude

[Cinnamon]

I am confused about men's "chaser" mentality and how to apply it to a long-term relationship.

Will my man lose interest in me if I do the following things?

 

1. I am available for dates most of the time.

 

2. I let him know that I like him a lot.

 

3. I let him know that I love to have sex with him and I will never

reject having sex with him.

 

4. I let him know that I do not need anyone else. I will not make him

jealous.

 

5. I do pleasant things for him such as cooking, giving gifts.

[Jimmy's_Brother]

I'd marry you. But yeah, a lot of these douchebags would get freaked out by the attention.

[Jimmy's_Brother]

Well, you have certainly called me out, and exposed me for the misanthropic, misogynistic hateful sponge that I am. Nice work there.

[BCCA]

Typical aggression I've seen from you. Tell me, where does this anger come from? I legitimately am asking, were you hurt by someone you wanted, or even loved, because she chose one of these "Douchebags" as you refer to them as?

 

I have seen your passive aggressiveness first hand and it is very weak. I suggest you read "No More Mr. Nice Guy"... Seriously, look it up. I am giving you constructive criticism. You have some problems buddy...

 

YIKES! What he said wasnt that bad, he actually made a valid point.

 

He's saying that HE finds all that stuff great, but there are others that get freaked out. There are a lot of douchebags out there, men and women alike, and people try and make sense of their behavior when there isnt any to be made. Plain and simple, all the things she listed would be awesome to me, dont you agree?

[Jimmy's_Brother]

@ A Black Sunset:

 

my anger comes from having been flogged with bamboo canes in the mountains of SE Asia when I was a child. It scarred me deeply. Then I was put into an arranged marriage with a woman who also flogged me with bamboo canes... talk about a blast from the past. As a result, I am the bitter person you see today. I wish you hadn't stirred up those old memories, but you're right. I need help, and I have a lot of problems... buddy.

[Jimmy's_Brother]

The guy, I hate to say, is a tool. A huge tool. And that takes a lot for me to say, because I am very very nice to people...

 

Yeah, I'm basically a freakin' buzzsaw. A gigantic tool.

 

And yeah, you are clearly very, very nice to people.

[You'reasian]

I am confused about men's "chaser" mentality and how to apply it to a long-term relationship.

Will my man lose interest in me if I do the following things?

 

1. I am available for dates most of the time.

 

2. I let him know that I like him a lot.

 

3. I let him know that I love to have sex with him and I will never

reject having sex with him.

 

4. I let him know that I do not need anyone else. I will not make him

jealous.

 

5. I do pleasant things for him such as cooking, giving gifts.

 

Depends on the man.

 

If he's capable of being in a committed relationship, you'll win him over.

[GorillaTheater]

The guy, I hate to say, is a tool. A huge tool. And that takes a lot for me to say, because I am very very nice to people

 

 

Yeah, me too.

 

Who the hell are you again?

[BCCA]

Your actions here scream for attention. Look at how instead of addressing things legitimately, you have TWICE used sarcasm and humor to deflect having to face anything. You are so obvious it hurts...

 

Well, picking on the guy in front of strangers on a message board, while derailing this girls post, isnt much better.

 

I dont think highly of everyone thats ever posted here, but you can just ignore the people you dont like.

[Jimmy's_Brother]

Look, you are a troll, ABS. That means that you write to incite. You're not worth anyone's words. Let's not get away from the issue at hand - the fact that some guys (and girls for that matter) run away at being treated well. And that's a sad, unfortunate fact. Apparently we're all used to, and thus desiring, the sh*t treatment.

[You'reasian]

Look' date=' you are a troll, ABS. That means that you write to incite. You're not worth anyone's words. Let's not get away from the issue at hand - the fact that some guys (and girls for that matter) run away at being treated well. And that's a sad, unfortunate fact. Apparently we're all used to, and thus desiring, the sh*t treatment.[/quote']

 

I wouldn't run away from being treated well.

 

I would definitely leave a cheater in a monogamous relationship. Chasing isn't worth the effort either - its got to be half-way or bust.

[Thaddeus]

I am confused about men's "chaser" mentality and how to apply it to a long-term relationship.

Will my man lose interest in me if I do the following things?

 

1. I am available for dates most of the time.

 

2. I let him know that I like him a lot.

 

3. I let him know that I love to have sex with him and I will never reject having sex with him.

 

4. I let him know that I do not need anyone else. I will not make him jealous.

 

5. I do pleasant things for him such as cooking, giving gifts.

First of all, a well-integrated man who knows himself and knows what he wants will not waste any time chasing. Sure, there may be some back-and-forth lighthearted teasing, but when it comes right down to it the man will simply not tolerate mindless little 'chase-me' games.

 

As for your list, it's entirely dependent on the fellow. Some would think it's great, others might be put off. There's no generalized answer that's going to work for everyone.

[xpaperxcutx]

The last 3 reeks " doormat". Why would you never turn down sex? If you're not in the mood, then say no. It's because of most people's inability to say no that they set themselves to get hurt.

 

 

Anything in excess is bad. And that will apply to relationships. People are attracted to new things, but everything new will lose their freshness and people will turn their attentions elsewhere.

 

Guys love to chase, that's a fact. But once they end up getting the girl, they will get bored. What attracted these men to the girl in the first place is the girl's personality and independence. Yet most of these girls would become clingy and dependent when they're in a relationship, thus they drive away the guy they're with.

 

Always retain your self- identity. There are certain things like cooking that can be sweet and loving, but never ever become a doormat.

[Thaddeus]

Guys love to chase, that's a fact. But once they end up getting the girl, they will get bored.

You've got this only half-right.

 

Chasers fit your description. They're the ones that live for the chase and the conquest, but have no patience or time for a long-term commitment.

 

A good, dependable man who's sincerely interested in something meaningful won't chase.

[xpaperxcutx]

You've got this only half-right.

 

Chasers fit your description. They're the ones that live for the chase and the conquest, but have no patience or time for a long-term commitment.

 

A good, dependable man who's sincerely interested in something meaningful won't chase.

 

 

But they will make an effort to get the girl. It's chasing in a less degree.

[Thaddeus]

But they will make an effort to get the girl. It's chasing in a less degree.

OK, I'll grant you that. Sure, there will be some effort involved. But as soon as a good man picks up any sort of hint that the woman in question is going by that foul little book, "The Rules" (the authors of which are apparently now divorced... irony much?) or is engaged in some sort of 'chase-me' game, he'll vanish off her radar screen without so much as a bye-your-leave.

[xpaperxcutx]

OK, I'll grant you that. Sure, there will be some effort involved. But as soon as a good man picks up any sort of hint that the woman in question is going by that foul little book, "The Rules" (the authors of which are apparently now divorced... irony much?) or is engaged in some sort of 'chase-me' game, he'll vanish off her radar screen without so much as a bye-your-leave.

 

They won't say bye without at least some kind of confrontation. They'll write letters expressing their opinions and telling the girl never to call them again.

[WineCountry]

Look' date=' you are a troll, ABS. That means that you write to incite. You're not worth anyone's words. Let's not get away from the issue at hand - [b']the fact that some guys (and girls for that matter) run away at being treated well. And that's a sad, unfortunate fact. Apparently we're all used to, and thus desiring, the sh*t treatment.

[/b]

 

 

I have to agree with this. Some people just like more of a challenge. Being that i'm a woman, i see that coming from men. It seems for some that if you are at their every beck and call, they get bored. Its like you need to keep them on their toes just a bit. I say SOME men, not all.

[Peaceandlove]

I agree with a previous poster that the last three are reek 'doormat' attitude! I think the only way to gain a guy's respect is to respect yourself..why would you not say no to sex if you didn't feel like it?

 

I've been this person you are describing and I have to tell you that I set myself up for a huge dissapointment. If you give so much then you expect a lot from the other person- even if you don't think you do you realise that that's not the case when the other person betrays you or dissapoints you

 

Men are chasers and that's part of their nature- that doesn't mean you have to suppress your giving nature and keep him chasing after you. Rather you should allow the guy to earn all the things you have to offer him

 

Bottom line- don't act like a martyr if you don't want to be one

[Citizen Drawn]

Cinnamon, any decent guy that's into you would appreciate and see your generosity of part of who you are - and they certainly wouldn't use it against you. The problem is that a lot of women use that approach on a total jerk then in realising that they've been walked all over go completely the other way.

O But as soon as a good man picks up any sort of hint that the woman in question is going by that foul little book, "The Rules" (the authors of which are apparently now divorced... irony much?) or is engaged in some sort of 'chase-me' game, he'll vanish off her radar screen without so much as a bye-your-leave.

 

Quoted for truth

[BCCA]

They won't say bye without at least some kind of confrontation. They'll write letters expressing their opinions and telling the girl never to call them again.

 

Are you serious? If I was pursuing a girl and it became apparent that she was playing 'chase me' games, the absolute LAST thing any man would do is send a letter expressing their feelings. Thats absurd, no offense.

 

Women might send a nasty-gram to let the guy know he was a jerk, but men arent going to do anything of the sort. Ive NEVER heard of that happening in my entire life.

[BCCA]

I have to agree with this. Some people just like more of a challenge. Being that i'm a woman, i see that coming from men. It seems for some that if you are at their every beck and call, they get bored. Its like you need to keep them on their toes just a bit. I say SOME men, not all.

 

Some people dont feel loved without having to earn it over and over, and some people dont feel like something has value unless it takes them eons of effort to get it.

[Cinnamon]

 

As for your list, it's entirely dependent on the fellow. Some would think it's great, others might be put off. There's no generalized answer that's going to work for everyone.

 

What about your personal attitude about these things?

[xpaperxcutx]

Are you serious? If I was pursuing a girl and it became apparent that she was playing 'chase me' games, the absolute LAST thing any man would do is send a letter expressing their feelings. Thats absurd, no offense.

 

Women might send a nasty-gram to let the guy know he was a jerk, but men arent going to do anything of the sort. Ive NEVER heard of that happening in my entire life.

 

hahaha well it actually happened to me a couple of times.

[BCCA]

hahaha well it actually happened to me a couple of times.

 

LOL Truth is stranger than fiction huh?