=( A Broken Promise

[dazed and confused]

[font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color] My ex boyfriend and I dated on and off for two years and then steadily for about a year and a half. We started saying I love you after a week of dating- and we both meant it. I know we both did. Although we are very young, our feelings were very intense for eachother. We were both pretty mature for our age. We were eachother's first loves, and we were ALWAYS together. We were the best of friends-we talked on the phone everynight and never got sick of eachother. (we even slept with our phones on so we could talk to eachother in the middle of the night if we needed to.) We saw past eachothers imperfections. We were always laughing, having fun, and constantly did sweet things for eachother. He was my first kiss, and I was his first anything OTHER than a kiss. We decided to lose our virginity to eachother. Soon after this, however, he began to develop some jealousy issues. Since this was both of ours first real realtionship-we didn't know how to handle different situations that came up. We began fighting fairly often, and sparatically "breaking-up" (which each "breakup" lasted about a day or two each). We'd always miss eachother and come back. I began to develop a small crush for a boy who is a year older in school than us- doing the fair thing, I told my boyfriend and was heartbroken. I didn't want to lose him at all, and I let him know that it was his decision on whether or not he wanted to be with me, and I'd get over my crush as soon as possible. Almost on the verge of tears, he told me he loved me enough to get over it, and I'd have to end my feelings for this other person.

 

After this discussion, we decided to stay together without sparatically breaking up. He always talked to me about how things would be when we grew up together. Things were going great for about a month and a half... but then I began having horrible girl problems. I left town for the weekend and my boyfriend had hung out with a group of guys and girls when I was out of town. He started having a crush on a girl two years older than us. At first, he wouldn't admit it, AT ALL. But I could tell he did, because I know him better than he knows himself. Finally he admitted to me that he had feelings for her, but they weren't anything compared to how much he was in love with me. Heartbroken and extremely jealous, I told him we'd have to break up. (thinking that he'd realize it was a stupid mistake and would come begging back... I also thought this was one of our one or two day breakups) We still talked and were in love. Soon after the breakup, he started drinking. I called him one night after I had gotten home to see what he had done that night. Halfway into our conversation, he called me the name of the girl who he had a crush on. I was PISSED. I hung up-and bawling called him back. He was very rude and made very unnecessary comments. I hung up and cried myself to sleep. The next day he got online-and I told him that I was sorry for even bothering to call him the night before. He didn't remember that we had even talked-he was drunk the entire conversation, and I had no idea. I had never heard or seen him drunk before.

 

I got over it-and a week later I called him for directions to a friends house. While we were on the phone he asked if I wanted to hang out later that night-and he called me after dinner with his family. He picked me up from a party I was at and came over. Things were better than ever and we had so much fun together. The night after that as well, he came over! I was sure things were going great. I started crying when he was over and asked why he didn't want to be with me. He said "I just need time babe. I SWEAR that this isn't the end of us-my love for you cannot change." We swore to eachother that we wouldn't have sex with anyone else. He told me he just wanted to see what else was out there, and that meant dating other people, but he'd always love me and this wasn't the end.He talked about marriage and such in the future, and then I walked him out to his car, he sang to me and kissed me goodnight. We said I love you and he said he'd call me tomorrow. The next day-I didnt hear a word from him. For the next two weeks-this was true as well. I was so heartbroken-but I knew he wanted his space. The entire summer, we never really talked. He just tried to make me jealous by telling me about other girls and such on the internet, and he called me profane names behind my back. I never really did anything to make him hate me-so I figure he was just pissed that he hadn't gotten over me.

 

We continued not to talk all summer.... but I wasn't over him at all-you can't get over someone you truly love! When school started we talked on the phone adn he told me he hadn't kissed anyone else all summer and not to worry. We didn't talk at school for about a month-completely blowing eachother off. Things were too awkward.

 

 

I decided to call him one night to talk things out-this was rediculous. We were BEST friends -and now we weren't even talking!! The conversation was very pleasant but he made up excuses not to talk to me about it in person-he was really curious what I wanted to talk about. I told him we should talk in person, but he made it impossible to do this. Some friends say it is because he loves me but he's not ready to get back together, and so if we didn't talk in person he wouldn't give into his feelings. I was hurt, and we didn't talk for a week after that.

 

Finally... we began to talk!! He had already asked another girl to homecoming-but he assured me that they didn't kiss or anything that night. I was very excited. He would come to find me and talk-I knew he wasn't over me either. We always were smiling when we talked to eachother.

 

I was talking to a friend-and she informed me that that day he had juts started talking to a girl a year older than us in school. I was so upset-and a week later, they started dating. They've been together almost a month now, and last week I was informed that they supposedly had sex. I am HEARTBROKEN and PISSED. He not only led me on, but broke our promise to eachother. We're no longer speaking, but we do look at eachother alot. There is just a lot of mixed emotions going on-I have a boyfriend now, but I think I'm just trying to use him to get over my ex. Everyone tells me they know my ex still loves me-but he'd never admit it. They say he brings me up in conversations and trys to talk smack in order to get over me. He has really cloes friends now and I'm not sure they like me-might this be part of him trying to stay away from me? I love him so much and i KNOW deep down he loves me-I catch him staring at me alot. Are we over? I need help!!!!! He has text messaged me saying "Have fun with your new boyfreind" Which is random-he never text messaged me before. He also asks my friends about what they think of me and my new boyfriend-I know he's jealous. What do you think will happen? Should I move on? I'm trying-but these feelings aren't changing!!!! I'm so hurt he would break our promise-especially when deep down I know he cares for me. Am i wrong? I miss him.

[Arabess]

I think the two of you need to sit down and have a long talk to decide if you want to be boyfriend / girlfriend or not. Discuss if you want to "commit" to a relationship together....or take some time to test the waters and see if time brings you back together again. It seems like you care about each other to the point of jealousy.....but that isn't always love. As long as you both have the tendency of wandering off into "crushes"...chances are....you aren't ready to make a big commitment yet. The only two people who can make that decision though....are you and him.

 

PS: If he doesn't want to talk about it.....then you should continue to date other people.