tojaz Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, as most have read, I got my final decree. When I got it I called her, just to ask she get her stuff. It killed me to pack it, and while it is awful to see all the empty spaces she vacated, on the wall, shelves, my heart. It was even harder to see it all stacked up, an omen of what was too come. As usual I am weak and the conversation turned to us. Were already divorced, what did I have to lose. She went on to tell me that all the things I've been agonizing over, Abuse, control, her fear of me, werent true. That she felt that way when she said them, but now she dosent! :confused: Yet shes still leaving, let the divorce go through. I didn't have the heart to ask her why, I was afraid of the answer. She gave me her now standard reply, your never going to understand. I wasn't looking for much in the conversation, maybe an apology, a litle remorse, hell any emotion would have been good. Shes just dead, lifeless, like a recording. She told me that her being around caused me too much pain, she even said that the divorce was best for me! When did I lose the opportunity to decide how I feel instead of having them assigned to me to fit her needs and justify her leaving. While she will never admit it, I think that is what it's all about. Emotions.. She has a long list of things that she says I prevented her from having in her life. Yet most of them, I never knew she wanted. She never expressed that she was unhappy with how her life was going. That she wanted more travel, to go back to school, more this more that, it never came up! She was uncomfortable sharing these things with me, so she convinced herself that I didn't want them. and was actively preventing her from pursuing them. If I asked her for something, some time together, to have a discussion about children. She would avoid that too. She was scared of the emotions she used to share so freely! So she developed a situation wher she could hide from them. She decided what I felt in her own head so that all was said and done before the first word was spoken. I want some time with you! becomes..... Quit your job and be a house wife I don't want to visit your family today because I'm tired....becomes, i hate your family and your not allowed to visit them! Dear, I think I'd like to have children becomes.....give me kids or I want a divorce. Please wait for your doctorate until we can afford it more comfortably becomes.....Give up your dreams, your married now!! Don't go to the city alone with your exboyfriend because i know the type of guy he is becomes....I cant even pick my own friends!! No wonder she thought I was controlling. No wonder I was oblivious. How can you ever express yourself when one person is carrying on both sides of the conversation! I just hope that when she heard I LOVE YOU she heard I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING FOR YOU, DIE FOR YOU , WHAT EVER IT TAKES JUST TO MAKE YOU A LITTLE HAPPIER! Thats how I felt, every single time. Just as I signed every love note, card, and letter to her. LOVE, ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Nomad1 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Tojaz - Congratulations on the final decree. Hopefully, that will bring closure to the ordeal you have been through. There is no point in wasting more thoughts about what was or was not. You know that she will continue to lie about the past. Everytime you engage with her in those conversations, you are effectively asking her to continue to lie to you. If you continue to live in the past, you will deny yourself the gift of your present life. Now that is real. You are alive now and that is a wonderful thing. There are no retakes Tojaz. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Live it well man. Take care Nomad1 Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Are all her belongings out of the house now? If they are, that's great, now you will be able to start living your life. Do your very best not to get in a conversation with her ever again about anything. It really does just set you back and keeps the memories fresh. I am a few weeks of NC with the H, and I can honestly say it feels good, most of the time. When the person that is causing you pain is no longer in your life, how can they hurt you? Also, NC has given me more time to think about how not perfect he was and that he had been deceiving me for a whole year and not just a few months, as he has claimed and I was led to believe. There are even a few nites now, not last nite though where I didn't dream about him and then wake up in despair. The longer you go without seeing her, the better. Will she become a distant memory? No. Will you still long for her? Yes, but it does subside. The thing that is getting me the most right now is the guilt. The guilt of letting him go. Sounds absurd, and it is, but that is the major thing I am battling against at present. But, that too, will pass. Good luck Tojaz. You will survive this. It hurts like a b*stard, but what choice do we have eh? You did all you could and couldn't have done anymore. She is the one that lost a good man and there will be someone out there that will be so very lucky to have you one day. Link to post Share on other sites
MrMayI Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 now you can start fresh, t. you're a very good guy, and you've taken more from this experience i think than any of us newbies. i hope the best for you, and i know that is just what you're going to get. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hi Tojaz Reading that, I have to say sounds very much like a case of "I want everything my own way, all the time, when I want it, how I want it, more of what I want" You never stood a chance, no matter what you did, it would never be good enough for her, she is incapable of compromise. That's how it reads to me. Time for total NC. Those spaces in your house? You need to make it your home now. Fresh lick of paint, rearrange the furniture, get some new ornaments etc, make it your own. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Lisa, men don't do ornaments. Tojaz - time to drag that velvet Elvis out of the basement. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Lisa, men don't do ornaments. Tojaz - time to drag that velvet Elvis out of the basement. LOL I was just thinking of ways to fill the space! How about some pictures in frames then? A plant? Star Wars figures, whatever. What do men use to fill space and make a house a home then? Bet my ex's house is still very bare in that case. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Today is the first day of the rest of your life. A fresh start, a new beginning. A new life. A life without having to worry if your next word or action will set her off. A life without having to guess what she truly means, feels, or is thinking. A life of having not to worry about whom she's with, or what she's doing. Let her go and drive someone else crazy. Let her go and be miserable without you. Just let her go. (Yeah I know, sounds alot easier than it truly is). I wish you well because you will succeed, you will come out on top in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 LOL I was just thinking of ways to fill the space! How about some pictures in frames then? A plant? Star Wars figures, whatever. What do men use to fill space and make a house a home then? Bet my ex's house is still very bare in that case. I don't have much on my walls. I don't have much ornamentation either. Makes it easier to dust. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: Well, as most have read, I got my final decree. When I got it I called her, just to ask she get her stuff. It killed me to pack it, and while it is awful to see all the empty spaces she vacated, on the wall, shelves, my heart. It was even harder to see it all stacked up, an omen of what was too come.:mad::mad::mad::mad: Stand by to stand by! FIRST OFF MISTER! You were the best husband that you knew how to be at the time! From your posts? You gave it 110% and gave it all you had to give! Granted! The XW isn't here to tell us this and that and the other about you! And? I'm sure that she would have had this to say about that, and that to say about this! And had you known back in the day about this and that? You would have been a better person, husband, and father! So would have I! Had I'd known thirty freaking years ago? I'd been a millionaire if not a billionaire, if not Commandant of the freaking Marine Corps! But I didn't! I've done been where your at now? Twenty years ago! I've already been where you at and back again! There and back again! That's not 'brag ~ just fact!' If you think for one stinking moment that I'm going to let you slide into 'self-pity' my Friend you are wrongly mistaken! Not going to happen! You get one and only one 'pity-party' per divorce! You've had yours and it was the day she or you walked out the door! Its time to 'man-up, stand-up, buckle-up and jump out the door and yell 'Marine Corps' Its time to become the better person! Its time to become greater than your fears! Its time to own your tears! Its time to grow! Its time to become the person you've always wanted to be! Its time to become the person you've always needed to be! Its time to get 'real' Its time to find out who and what your all about! Its time to find out? To be YOU! The real you! Its time to get motivated and passionate about your life! Its time to live your Life! To live life to its top! To its fullest! Not for another? But for yourself! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RiceBall Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 LOL I was just thinking of ways to fill the space! How about some pictures in frames then? A plant? Star Wars figures, whatever. What do men use to fill space and make a house a home then? Bet my ex's house is still very bare in that case. I vote for Star Wars figurines! Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I would love to have a full life size metal terminator in my house. that would be off the chain. and give anyone nightmares! lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: Well, as most have read, I got my final decree. When I got it I called her, just to ask she get her stuff. It killed me to pack it, and while it is awful to see all the empty spaces she vacated, on the wall, shelves, my heart. It was even harder to see it all stacked up, an omen of what was too come.:mad::mad::mad::mad: Stand by to stand by! FIRST OFF MISTER! You were the best husband that you knew how to be at the time! From your posts? You gave it 110% and gave it all you had to give! Granted! The XW isn't here to tell us this and that and the other about you! And? I'm sure that she would have had this to say about that, and that to say about this! And had you known back in the day about this and that? You would have been a better person, husband, and father! So would have I! Had I'd known thirty freaking years ago? I'd been a millionaire if not a billionaire, if not Commandant of the freaking Marine Corps! But I didn't! I've done been where your at now? Twenty years ago! I've already been where you at and back again! There and back again! That's not 'brag ~ just fact!' If you think for one stinking moment that I'm going to let you slide into 'self-pity' my Friend you are wrongly mistaken! Not going to happen! You get one and only one 'pity-party' per divorce! You've had yours and it was the day she or you walked out the door! Its time to 'man-up, stand-up, buckle-up and jump out the door and yell 'Marine Corps' Its time to become the better person! Its time to become greater than your fears! Its time to own your tears! Its time to grow! Its time to become the person you've always wanted to be! Its time to become the person you've always needed to be! Its time to get 'real' Its time to find out who and what your all about! Its time to find out? To be YOU! The real you! Its time to get motivated and passionate about your life! Its time to live your Life! To live life to its top! To its fullest! Not for another? But for yourself! I don't know that I'm getting across my message here? The time to get passionate about living your life? Is right here and now! The time to cherish your loved ones? Is right here and right now! Not when you've got AK-47 rounds or RPG's whizzing around your head? 9/11 was a serious wake up call as to how short and precious life is? And we've all but have forgotten it now? I recall reading in "Crazy Time" about a guy that worked his bun off trying to climb the corporate ladder, who came home with champagne and roses in hand? Announced that he'd been promoted to vice president! His wife told him ~ I"'d just wished that you had spent more time with the children and I." My career in the Marines ~ was my mistress! "She" demanded so much of me ~ mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically ~ my wife could not compete! For some its other women? For others its drugs or alcohol! For some? Its of all things? Video games! A mistress is a mistress! Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I don't know that I'm getting across my message here? The time to get passionate about living your life? Is right here and now! The time to cherish your loved ones? Is right here and right now! Not when you've got AK-47 rounds or RPG's whizzing around your head? 9/11 was a serious wake up call as to how short and precious life is? And we've all but have forgotten it now? I recall reading in "Crazy Time" about a guy that worked his bun off trying to climb the corporate ladder, who came home with champagne and roses in hand? Announced that he'd been promoted to vice president! His wife told him ~ I"'d just wished that you had spent more time with the children and I." My career in the Marines ~ was my mistress! "She" demanded so much of me ~ mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically ~ my wife could not compete! For some its other women? For others its drugs or alcohol! For some? Its of all things? Video games! A mistress is a mistress! In that case my ex had two mistresses... Video games Work He says he left me b/c he wanted MORE time away from the relationship, to come together when WE (read HE) felt like it. I did not leave him, I put up with this. Then after he left I allowed him to blame me b/c of low self esteem issues. WTF!!! How is this my fault exactly? BS excuses dear ex, BS excuses! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: Well, as most have read, I got my final decree. When I got it I called her, just to ask she get her stuff. It killed me to pack it, and while it is awful to see all the empty spaces she vacated, on the wall, shelves, my heart. It was even harder to see it all stacked up, an omen of what was too come.:mad::mad::mad::mad: Stand by to stand by! FIRST OFF MISTER! You were the best husband that you knew how to be at the time! From your posts? You gave it 110% and gave it all you had to give! Granted! The XW isn't here to tell us this and that and the other about you! And? I'm sure that she would have had this to say about that, and that to say about this! And had you known back in the day about this and that? You would have been a better person, husband, and father! So would have I! Had I'd known thirty freaking years ago? I'd been a millionaire if not a billionaire, if not Commandant of the freaking Marine Corps! But I didn't! I've done been where your at now? Twenty years ago! I've already been where you at and back again! There and back again! That's not 'brag ~ just fact!' If you think for one stinking moment that I'm going to let you slide into 'self-pity' my Friend you are wrongly mistaken! Not going to happen! You get one and only one 'pity-party' per divorce! You've had yours and it was the day she or you walked out the door! Its time to 'man-up, stand-up, buckle-up and jump out the door and yell 'Marine Corps' Its time to become the better person! Its time to become greater than your fears! Its time to own your tears! Its time to grow! Its time to become the person you've always wanted to be! Its time to become the person you've always needed to be! Its time to get 'real' Its time to find out who and what your all about! Its time to find out? To be YOU! The real you! Its time to get motivated and passionate about your life! Its time to live your Life! To live life to its top! To its fullest! Not for another? But for yourself! Stand by to Stand by Gunny!! First off, whats up with the :mad::mad:! I don't have no 5,000 posts, but I get a lot of whats happening. Move on, live your life, all great advice that I have never lost sight of. The roller coaster rolls on and on going through all of this, and I'll have as many pity parties as I need. Motivation and snap out of it are great, but sometimes a person just needs to feel the emotions. Mourn what they have lost. It would be a disrespect to the relationship and to yourself to just pick yourself up dust your self off and move on to the next one. This isn't a boxing tournament but affairs of the heart. Last few days, I've been :( and :o:o and thats me, thats the real me! Thats who I want to be and would be mad at myself if I didn't have those feelings! To some respect I'll have them for the rest of my life. A certain song, a certain photo! Thats fine by me. I'll take those moments embrace them and then go back to :D:D. People need to know that it's ok to have feelings good or bad, denying them does more damage then good. I haven't lost sight of myself, I'm down, I'm hurting, and yeah, I miss her, but I wake up, read threads answer posts go to work, and live my life to the best I can make it and it's only going to get better. Hearing "dump her" "forget about her" "you can do better" dosen't help anyone who truly loved their ex, even if it is true. Everyone compares divorce to a death, would you go up to a grieving widow a few days after the service and tell her to suck it up? That being said, you know i love ya Gunny and your advice helps people here. A drill seargent isn't always whats called for though! Hoorah, carry on! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 Thanks everyone for all the replies! H&D hit it on the head, it hurts like a SOB but I'll get through it and be better for it in time.!! Lisa, men don't do ornaments. Tojaz - time to drag that velvet Elvis out of the basement. Anyone know where to get a giant dogs playing poker to put next to my velvet Elvis! LOL I was just thinking of ways to fill the space! How about some pictures in frames then? A plant? Star Wars figures, whatever. What do men use to fill space and make a house a home then? Bet my ex's house is still very bare in that case. Star Wars Figures? I thought you knew me better then that. I've got signed footballs, helmets etc. I think I'll just spread them around a bit! Turn this place into a sports bar. LOL.:laugh: Tojaz Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Thanks everyone for all the replies! H&D hit it on the head, it hurts like a SOB but I'll get through it and be better for it in time.!! Anyone know where to get a giant dogs playing poker to put next to my velvet Elvis! Star Wars Figures? I thought you knew me better then that. I've got signed footballs, helmets etc. I think I'll just spread them around a bit! Turn this place into a sports bar. LOL.:laugh: Tojaz I must confess the ex was in mind when I suggested the star wars figures! Sad b****d that he is! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Stand by to Stand by Gunny!! First off, whats up with the :mad::mad:! I don't have no 5,000 posts, but I get a lot of whats happening. Move on, live your life, all great advice that I have never lost sight of. The roller coaster rolls on and on going through all of this, and I'll have as many pity parties as I need. Motivation and snap out of it are great, but sometimes a person just needs to feel the emotions. Mourn what they have lost. It would be a disrespect to the relationship and to yourself to just pick yourself up dust your self off and move on to the next one. This isn't a boxing tournament but affairs of the heart. Last few days, I've been :( and :o:o and thats me, thats the real me! Thats who I want to be and would be mad at myself if I didn't have those feelings! To some respect I'll have them for the rest of my life. A certain song, a certain photo! Thats fine by me. I'll take those moments embrace them and then go back to :D:D. People need to know that it's ok to have feelings good or bad, denying them does more damage then good. I haven't lost sight of myself, I'm down, I'm hurting, and yeah, I miss her, but I wake up, read threads answer posts go to work, and live my life to the best I can make it and it's only going to get better. Hearing "dump her" "forget about her" "you can do better" dosen't help anyone who truly loved their ex, even if it is true. Everyone compares divorce to a death, would you go up to a grieving widow a few days after the service and tell her to suck it up? That being said, you know i love ya Gunny and your advice helps people here. A drill seargent isn't always whats called for though! Hoorah, carry on! TOJAZ I hear you my man? But how long do you allow yourself to grieve? From cradle to grave? Given a life span of about 70 years more or less? We've got about 25,000 on this rock? Wasting just one grieving over someone ~ let alone someone who's flat out told you they don't want you, don't love, aren't in love with you is one too many? I could see it, if you were the grieving widow over someone that you just put to rest that did love you, wanted to be with you, and was in love with you. And believe me? I've been where your at, and understand your grief. And if I make you mad? Then that's a good thing! Because you need to be mad at someone. And if that's me? So be it! Because you as many of us? Have been served up a mess of injustice. And your right! You never get over 'them' ~ and you never completely get over them. To a certain extent they forevermore have become a part of you now. To some degree your forevermore are going to drag that 'dead horse' around with you for the rest of your life. You don't get so much use to living without them in your life? So much as you just learn to live and deal with it on a day to day basis. In a word? Acceptance. Acceptance that this is my new reality. Like it or not? This is the way it is, and the way its going to be for everyday for the rest of my life. This is what I've got to contend with ~ like it or not! It was my intent to begrudge your feeling ~ what your going through is very much like a "emotional stoke" and can leave you lost, dazed and paralysed. Or it can lead you to running, screaming and shouting in circles ~ or both. And its very much like having getting thrown under a bus, with you crawling out from under it asking yourself WTF? Its not doubt for most? A Life alternating experience. Forever more you've been changed ~ and forevermore you will never be the same! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 14, 2009 Author Share Posted August 14, 2009 I'm not trying to rattle your cage Gunny. I know where your heart is in what you posted. Grieving in death isn't for the deceased. There not there to experience it. Grieving is for the survivors! I know she dosen't want me, that couldn't be clearer if it was tatooed on my forehead. Yet this is also very much a death. My wife died several months ago, this new woman has taken her place. I'm not grieving the woman who walked away, I'm just missing what I had, I'm missing the wife I had, the woman that DID love me. In my opinion, anyone who sees missing/grieving for someone that they were in love with for 13 years as a waste, didn't really love them all that much to begin with. I have no intention of being a flameout either though. Once I got used to being alone, I've had a lot of good days, recently more good then bad. Yes, Icome here and rant when I'm hurting, but when I'm not I come here and try to help others that are. All of a sudden most of my threads have died, and I have a lot of posts in others. Thats me moving on, all be it at my own pace. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 tojaz.... we cannot make our hearts feel something they don't... i.e. to love someone cause they love us, or to NOT Love someone cause they NO LONGER love us... how do you just STOP...? you can't...we are human...no on and off switches here. i wish there were.... i get what Gunny is saying, cause ya, life is so frickin' short...and everyday we wake up is a GIft from above... but....again, we can't make our hearts feel something it can't...yet... divorce, separation..its like a death..in fact IT IS a death... of SO MANY things...not just our W/H leaving..but the memories feel like they are dying..slowly disappearing, the memories we will NEVER have...like the 50th wedding anniversary i have been planning since day one.... our everyday routines, phone calls to say HI HONEY i love you! or that TV show you watch together every week, THAT SONG...omg. THAT SONG... the friends, the families, even pets...everything is different now... we can no longer view life thru the same vision we did BEFORE they W/H left us... so much died when they left....i can go on and on ...but how depressing right:( divorce is like a death...and it takes TIME to deal with a death...because our hearts are in so much pain.... tojaz..i get it...i hurt for you and me and everyone on this board that hearts are grieving the death of a life they had and a life they will not have because the leavers killed IT all... so all we can do is one day at a time...pray for a brighter future...and that one day, we will laugh, i mean really laugh, trust, love, feel something besides pain and grief.... one day...we will...we all will...it just takes time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Great post Dela! A lot better then i could have put it, but very much what I've been feeling. Gunny, also great posts, although just not what i needed at the time. her name has changed, the war is over. Just need a moment to lick my wounds and then it's on to bigger and better! What one will abuse another can use right? Well ladies USE ME!!!:p:p TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 For me at least I had to come to the realization that I had to work at getting out of it and over it ~ and I mean literally work. Queen Victoria of England grieved for thirty years when her beloved Prince Albert died! For most here the wounds and memories are still fresh ~ but I can assure that if I were to allow myself to go to that deep dark place in the back of mind? Unwrap the chains around the chest, unlock its many locks and to open my own personal Pandora's Box it would send me back to the day of that "train wreck" I like and listen to most any and all kinds of music ~ in so long as its good music. But once I had gone through the Big "D" I quit listening to country. (When your going through a separation/divorce? That s*** is just enough to send you over the edge.) There are to this day ~ certain songs and artist I can't listen to. Keith Whitney ~ "I'm Over You", Vince Gill's "When I Call Your Name" And its been nineteen damn years ! As I said you never so much "get over it" and so that should not be your objective. Its should be learning how to deal with it in the form of learning how to live with it? To do so you have to come up with your own individualistic ways of doing so ~ no one here can tell you how to do so for yourself ~ only the way that they improvised, adapted and overcame. And I didn't intend to imply tojaz that you weren't allowed to grieve the lost of your past, your present, and your future ~ and that's very much what your going through. Indeed! Its very necessary to do so. And proper and fitting that you should do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Tojaz...if it is any comfort...I think you have your heart in the right place...you are dealing and that is very respectable...direct all of that love you had for her back to you...in other words do for yourself and have what I would hope someone who truly cherishes you would do...nothing can top yourself... I hope for those of us that the D has come for or is on its way will find someone who loves us as much as we have put our hearts out on the line before for...its about time for us to get some lovn! (hell wouldn't mind some sex once in a while too!) LOL my vote is for the sports theme in the house! Sounds like fun Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Great post Dela! A lot better then i could have put it, but very much what I've been feeling. Gunny, also great posts, although just not what i needed at the time. her name has changed, the war is over. Just need a moment to lick my wounds and then it's on to bigger and better! What one will abuse another can use right? Well ladies USE ME!!!:p:p TOJAZ Wasn't my intent to disrepect you Its just a "Hard-Luck Life! That's just the way it is! And the way ~ way I am? Two things to keep in mind ~ Bro! 1. But before the Grace of God! ~ There go I! And #2? But before the Grace of God! ~ There go I! I'm always going to be! I am what I am! And that's the way I'm always going to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 No disrespect taken Gunny. Thats not you, you wouldn't have 5,000 posts of trying to help people if it was. Your tough and blunt advice has helped me a lot while going through all this. I even printed a few of your posts and keep them at work to keep me going. I'm sure a lot of others have done the same. Sometimes the wounds are a bit raw for that, and a person needs to be vulnerable and just let it out. I think thats where I was when I started this thread. It's easy to have all the knowledge and logic, once your out and looking back, but for those of us still in it, even though its all true, it hurts like hell, and we just need to vent and let it wash over us. The last thing someone soaked by the "storms of life" needs to hear is "why didn't you bring an umbrella" from a dry man! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
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