Author tojaz Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Tojaz...if it is any comfort...I think you have your heart in the right place...you are dealing and that is very respectable...direct all of that love you had for her back to you...in other words do for yourself and have what I would hope someone who truly cherishes you would do...nothing can top yourself... I hope for those of us that the D has come for or is on its way will find someone who loves us as much as we have put our hearts out on the line before for...its about time for us to get some lovn! (hell wouldn't mind some sex once in a while too!) LOL my vote is for the sports theme in the house! Sounds like fun Hi, Ladybug We will all find what were looking for someday. It just may take going through all of this to help us dicover what we really want. I think it's important to be willing to put our hearts out there again, to not be afraid of being hurt. Nothing truly great will ever happen without taking a risk! (and please don't bring up sex LOL it's been 5 months after 13 years of regular.:mad:LOL) I thnk I'm going to start by repainting the bedroom, but I may spread all my stuff throughout the house. I had my mancave, but now I have a whole house to play with GO PACK GO!!!! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 No disrespect taken Gunny. That's not you, you wouldn't have 5,000 posts of trying to help people if it was. Your tough and blunt advice has helped me a lot while going through all this. I even printed a few of your posts and keep them at work to keep me going. I'm sure a lot of others have done the same. Sometimes the wounds are a bit raw for that, and a person needs to be vulnerable and just let it out. I think that's where I was when I started this thread. It's easy to have all the knowledge and logic, once your out and looking back, but for those of us still in it, even though its all true, it hurts like hell, and we just need to vent and let it wash over us. The last thing someone soaked by the "storms of life" needs to hear is "why didn't you bring an umbrella" from a dry man! TOJAZ For many ~ at least for me its a "JHC ~ AMG ~ I survived that ~ down on your knees experience!" To quote George Jones ~ a fellow former WWII Marine,........................... "Ive been through and gone through guns and war, but nothing ever hurt me half as much as hearing the closing of the door,.................................. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 For many ~ at least for me its a "JHC ~ AMG ~ I survived that ~ down on your knees experience!" To quote George Jones ~ a fellow former WWII Marine,........................... "Ive been through and gone through guns and war, but nothing ever hurt me half as much as hearing the closing of the door,.................................. Thanks Gunny! Fore someone that says he gave up on country music, you sure have a lot of quotes! LOL Check out some of the new stuff, it's right up your alley! Lady Antebellum..... Love don't live here anymore! Well this heart of mine Has been hardened like a stone It might take some time To get back what is gone But I'm movin' on And you don't haunt my dreams Like you did before When I would curse your name Hey Well I heard the news That you were back in town Just passin' through To claim your lost and found But I'm over you And there ain't nothin' that You could say or do To take what you did back Well you got nerve to waltz right in And think what's mine is yours again Well I've been doin' fine without you Forgettin' all the love we once knew And girl I ain't the one who slammed that door But now you say you've changed your thinkin' But I ain't got a heart for breakin' So go and pick your bags up off my floor Cuz love don't live here anymore Oh no Well baby you can try To tell me how it is And try to justify Everything you did Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com But honey I'm no fool And I've been down this road Too many times with you I think it's best you go Well I got one thing left to say Is you can lay in the bed you've made Well I've been doin' fine without you Forgettin' all the love we once knew And girl I ain't the one who slammed that door But now you say you've changed your thinkin' But I ain't got a heart for breakin' So go and pick your bags up off my floor Cuz love don't live here anymore Oh no no Love dont Live here anymore Sugar no no And you dont live here anymore Love don't live here anymore Since you walked out of my door Love don't live here Love don't live here girl Oh love don't live here anymore TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 OR, for people feeling the way I'm feeling right now Garth Brooks........More then a memory, (THIS SONG KICKS MY A$$ every time) People say she's only in my head It’s gonna take time but I’ll forget say I need to get on with my life they don't realize When you're dialing six numbers just to hang up the phone Drivin cross town just to see if she’s home Wakin a friend in the dead of night Just to hear him say its gonna be alright When you're finding things to do not to fall asleep Cause you know she’ll be there in your dreams That’s when she's more than a memory Took a match to everything she ever wrote Watched her words go up in smoke Tore all her pictures off the wall They aint helping me at all Cause when you're talkin out loud and nobody’s there You look like hell and ya just don’t care Drinkin more than ya ever drank Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com Sinkin down lower than ya ever sank When you find youself fallin down upon your knees Prayin to God, beggin him please That’s when she’s more than a memory TOJAZ She’s more x 2 Cause when you're dialing her number just to hang up the phone Drivin cross town just to see if she’s home Wakin a friend in the dead of night Just to hear him say it’s gonna be alright When you’re findin things to do not to fall asleep Cause you know she’s waiting in your dreams That’s when she’s more than a memory People say she’s only in my head It’s gonna take time but I’ll forget Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Oh Tojaz! That song kills me too! Most of the country songs kill me bc we were both a fan of country and there's so many out there that ring so closely to my situation or my broken heart! Hearing our wedding song brings me to my knees! I'm such a dumba**, I watched our wedding video just a couple of months ago and sobbed and rocked uncontrollably the entire time! I watched the wedding video and just say to myself...wtf happened? He looked so happy and in love that day 5 years ago! There's a close up of his face as I was walking down the aisle...he literally was fighting tears! Seriously...what happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Oh Tojaz! That song kills me too! Most of the country songs kill me bc we were both a fan of country and there's so many out there that ring so closely to my situation or my broken heart! Hearing our wedding song brings me to my knees! I'm such a dumba**, I watched our wedding video just a couple of months ago and sobbed and rocked uncontrollably the entire time! I watched the wedding video and just say to myself...wtf happened? He looked so happy and in love that day 5 years ago! There's a close up of his face as I was walking down the aisle...he literally was fighting tears! Seriously...what happened? Broken, I wish I had the answers for you. I wish I could know what happened in my own marriage. I still sift through the memories from time to time as well. Photos, love letters, I still have the wedding photo of our first kiss as man and wife on my headboard. I took all the other pictures down, but can't bring myself to move it. She always hated country, so I had to listen when she wasn't around. LOL The first thing I did when I recovered from the shock of all this was buy a bunch of CD's and played them loud! I even adopted a theme song of sorts. Kerosene by Miranda Lambert. You might of noticed my old signature, "I've given up on love, because loves given up on me" Don't torture yourself looking for answers, the only one that knows why is him. Just focus on being the best you and mom you can be, thats going to be your strength! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
frustrated&sad Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Tojaz, Your story and decree moved me to tears. You sound like a wonderful person who is hurting beyond what words can describe. I wish that I could give you a hug and tell you everything is going to be alright. But you'll have to take this post instead: For expressing your emotions and feeling love, you are living. You will heal, Tojaz. Your poetic soul will continue to love. And at some point you are going to smile again because life is funny. Give youself a hug for me. My heart is aching for you today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 Tojaz, Your story and decree moved me to tears. You sound like a wonderful person who is hurting beyond what words can describe. I wish that I could give you a hug and tell you everything is going to be alright. But you'll have to take this post instead: For expressing your emotions and feeling love, you are living. You will heal, Tojaz. Your poetic soul will continue to love. And at some point you are going to smile again because life is funny. Give youself a hug for me. My heart is aching for you today. :love: Thanks F&S what a sweet post. I haven't noticed you around before, I'll go read your thread. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
vangel2 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 It might not be now, but soon, she's going to realize that she had let go of a great guy & that by the time she realizes that, you will be a more happier man w/o her. It's going to hurt for now as you are going through this healing process, but it's all going to be for the better at the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 It might not be now, but soon, she's going to realize that she had let go of a great guy & that by the time she realizes that, you will be a more happier man w/o her. It's going to hurt for now as you are going through this healing process, but it's all going to be for the better at the end. I believe you Vangel, every word. Last night, I didn't think about her at all! Last night I was happier then I have been in a very long time and just hope I can keep that feeling going! I think I can. I know I can, for the first time in a long time I woke up smiling and full of energy, actually excited about the day. :D:D:D:D:D:D TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I believe you Vangel, every word. Last night, I didn't think about her at all! Last night I was happier then I have been in a very long time and just hope I can keep that feeling going! I think I can. I know I can, for the first time in a long time I woke up smiling and full of energy, actually excited about the day. :D:D:D:D:D:D TOJAZ I'm so happy to hear that Tojaz! You deserve some happiness. We all do! Link to post Share on other sites
lastout_82 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 GL tojaz, keep up the good work and stay strong. you have helped me see somelight and i cant thank you enough. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 TOJAZ I read you list of your XW reasons in the front of the thread. I as others on this list can relate, got a similar list I am now in this great LTR, nice sweet girl, she still believes that reindeer can fly, don't argue with on that point, all you will do is p*ss her off. and she is beautiful, I am bragging, but it isn't every plus 60 man that has a plus 55 GF who is a grandma to a teenager, that still has an hour glass figure, and looks great in a bikini. I have no idea what the ex looks like, it has been 30 years, but I am sure I traded up, in personality and looks wise I am basically treat my GF the same way i treated my XW. I wonder what the hell am I doing right this time. I haven't a clue. Every once in awhile I will ask her, "What am I doing right this time?" and it is always the same answer "Everything" Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 Good for you Gallon, sounds like your a very lucky man. I've been slowly opening my eyes to new possibilites, and there are some fantastic women out there. Women with beautiful hearts to go with the rest. Thats what i want to be sure to find this time around. To be honest, just the possibilites, make me excited and happy if that makes any sense at all. Tojaz Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 there are wonderful women out there Tojaz just as there are wonderful men...I hope we all end up gloriously happy with a person who really understands our hearts... Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 by the way this sucks not being established...I can't post an album Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 there are wonderful women out there Tojaz just as there are wonderful men...I hope we all end up gloriously happy with a person who really understands our hearts... Oh, I know Ladybug. It's kind of twisted when i think about all the great women I talk to on LS. Gorgeous Women with good hearts, and theyre all thousands of miles away! LOL :laugh: Irony Sux! by the way this sucks not being established...I can't post an album I think it's 50 posts and a month on the board, should be pretty quick here. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 well I am trying LOL...now that I get this damned thing and how to keep up better Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 She always hated country, so I had to listen when she wasn't around. ! TOJAZ George Jones, Jim Beam, & Jack Daniels along with divorce don't mix very well together! Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Tojaz Somehow the last part of my post got lost. The main point of my post, was how can it be that I basically treated both woman the same. And could eventually do nothing right with the XW and everything right for one that is far superior to the XW. As you I heard too controlling, you back off just a little and now you are too wimpy, a doormat 1 kiss / hug and I love you a day means you are emotionally unattached. But 2 kisses / hugs and I love yous a day, mean you are too clingy We had no chance of winning as we were playing by their rules Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Tojaz You are so right there are so many fine ladies out there. I might be taken but I am not blind. And now a days they like to drink beer and some of them actually like to watch football, now there is a 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 Tojaz Somehow the last part of my post got lost. The main point of my post, was how can it be that I basically treated both woman the same. And could eventually do nothing right with the XW and everything right for one that is far superior to the XW. As you I heard too controlling, you back off just a little and now you are too wimpy, a doormat 1 kiss / hug and I love you a day means you are emotionally unattached. But 2 kisses / hugs and I love yous a day, mean you are too clingy We had no chance of winning as we were playing by their rules Exactly, I never understood thatand I'm not trying to figure it out anymore. I'm gonna love em the way I want to love em. If it's too much or to little is their problem! Tojaz You are so right there are so many fine ladies out there. I might be taken but I am not blind. And now a days they like to drink beer and some of them actually like to watch football, now there is a 10 True enough, a lot of fine ladies out there!! The wife used to be one of them. Plus she drank beer and could be absolutely rabid watching a football game! se la vi! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 OMIF - Open Mouth Insert Foot Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 OMIF - Open Mouth Insert Foot Pull that boot out Gallon, If she was that great, i wouldn't be here would I? Besides, shes a Saints fan and she's never even been to New Orleans. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
MrMayI Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 my wife became rabid about my college teams, and still is. the OM is as big a fan as i am. **** it. i bbq better than anybody i know, and will have a house full of friends every saturday eating my delicious ribs, brisket, steaks, chicken, brats, whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
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