Love at 30

[Goofy]

I am a 30 year old woman who has been married for 5 years. I have recently found another love and I don't know what to do, especially since she is a woman. HELP!!!!

[Tony T]

If you are committed to your marriage, you do nothing. If you are sort of committed, have an affair. If you are not committed at all, why did you get married in the first place?

 

If you want to have children, you do nothing. If you sort of want to have children, you can hook up with your new love and adopt. If you don't want to have children at all, why did you get married in the first place?

 

If you want to have honor and stability in your life, you do nothing. If you sort of want to have honor and stability in your life, have an affair with your new lady love. If you don't care about honor and stability, move on every time you think you have fallen in love with someone new, male or female, and you will have a very chaotic life.

 

If you were really interested in keeping your marriage going, you wouldn't have posted here. If you were sort of interested in keeping your marriage going, you would never have fallen for this lady. If you didn't care about your marriage, you wouldn't have posted here.

 

Women often fall for other women because other women meet both emotional and sexual needs that men have not been trained to do. Women tend to know much better what other women desire in a relationship. They just have to purchase some of the equipment. Why not work with your husband and let him know exactly what you are looking for in those areas. If you work hard and he still doesn't get it, then let him know your option is to take up with a woman. If that doesn't motivate him, then divorce him.

 

Your post is extremely brief. If that's the way you communicate with your husband, it's no wonder your marriage is unfulfilling.

 

You call yourself goofy in your post. Is there something significant about that?

[billy the kid]

well first off call me at 555- just kidding.. well do you want to leave your husband? have you talked about it with him or her? most of all is it worth it for eveyone involved? more important deep in your heart what do you want to do?? you are 30 so your not a child and can think for your self.. take some time away from them both and think about what "YOU" want, then you can focus your love to or on whom is most important.. please don't forget that infactuations (sp?) can seem like love.... good luck

I am a 30 year old woman who has been married for 5 years. I have recently found another love and I don't know what to do, especially since she is a woman. HELP!!!!

[LT]

Tony's post is pretty thorough, but I think a little harsh. Something happens to women when we hit 30, and I think it's significant to your situation. Most women don't know what they really want until they hit 30...it's our midlife crisis point, basically. We grow up being sold a bill of goods by our families, our media, even our friends...all about what we should want. We try to go along with that and then 30 comes and BOOM...we wake up and realize we gotta live at least another 30 years doing crap WE never wanted for ourselves. And because we've been listening to everyone but ourselves we have no idea what we DO want.

 

Therefore, MY suggestion would be to seek counseling. Having an affair is an escape mechanism, regardless of sexual preference. Go find yourself and try to change as little as possible in your life until you're sure about what you want. And, last but not least, it's never a good idea to get out of a marriage by way of another relationship...those relationships never last, they are merely self-created crisis's that we use to get out of the marriage. Everyone ends up being hurt more than they need to be by them.

 

LT

I am a 30 year old woman who has been married for 5 years. I have recently found another love and I don't know what to do, especially since she is a woman. HELP!!!!