blue_eyes Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 i need help as soon as i can with this problem. i'm so scared right now. i just found something else that set off a warning sign in my head.. i don't know what to do. i thought i knew my bf. i love him, but he's changing it seems. before, it was just fairly innocent porno. now it is about torture and i found lots of vids and pics depicting horrible acts of violence. these aren't just those fantasy role playing sites.. these are those black market snuff kind of videos.. with real people. my bf has always had a fascination with serial killers, namely ted bundy. at first, he said he was just interested in the psychology of it all. but i have found "recipes" for destruction on the computer and death wish sites. he has never hurt me, but he has gotten very isolated and withdrawn and very moody. i want to leave him.. i love him. but this has gone too far. the thing is, i'm scared his fascination with this stuff is indicative that he may go off and really make these fantasies a reality. please help! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted November 14, 2003 Share Posted November 14, 2003 I can understand your wanting to leave him. That stuff would scare the **** out of anyone. Make sure you're in a safe place before he finds out you're going. Get support from parents, close friends, or a battered women's shelter. The shelter may also be able to help with resources about violent porn users. As to whether he may be a budding serial killer...I don't know. I am sure some people look at that kind of material without ever acting on what they see. Let's hope he will be one of them, and that you never hear of any crimes in your area that make you wonder whether this person may be the perpetrator. Link to post Share on other sites
Amberlyn Posted November 15, 2003 Share Posted November 15, 2003 It's kinda weird, they say that people research torture and murders and equally pleasant subjects before they act on their own impulses to commit those acts themselves. At the same time, you can't assume that anyone who's interested in the psychology of it is going to go off and start killing people. What would be a red flag to me is the combination of his obsession with this stuff and his withdrawn, moody behavior. That's not generally a good sign. I would encourage you to play it safe. Pack what you need, get yourself to a safe place and talk to someone about everything. Find someone you can trust enough to tell them everything. Whether you discuss this with him ahead of time, or after it happens, is totally up to you. But either way I'd suggest doing that in a neutral place where the two of you aren't alone. If he loves you, hopefully he'll understand where you're coming from and realize that it's not that you don't love him, but that you're worried about his safety and yours. If he won't or says he can't, I'd stay far, far away. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
guester Posted November 15, 2003 Share Posted November 15, 2003 Also find yourself another source of melodrama. Your instinct might be right, who knows, but you playing it up is just kinda sad. Very Sunday-night Mom-movie-of the-week stuff; your bf is not the only one with phantasy issues. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 15, 2003 Share Posted November 15, 2003 Also find yourself another source of melodrama. Your instinct might be right, who knows, but you playing it up is just kinda sad. Very Sunday-night Mom-movie-of the-week stuff; your bf is not the only one with phantasy issues. So 'guester', shall we assume you have a similar collection of literature? Would you be comfortable living with someone who was collecting images and literature filled with horrible violence? Link to post Share on other sites
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