gypsi Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Hi everyone Well the love of my life broke up with me 6 months ago and the main reason was that i have no impulse control when i drink! I dont get drunk during the week or drink on a regular basis but when i do drink i drink way to much...i get very agro with everyone especially the people i care for the most i push them away and say terrible mean hurtfull things to them! I did this to her on 3 occasions and the last occasion i blanked out and apparently i was saying things like i hate you! you have ruined my life! And i didnt know who she is, i thought she kidnapped me..?? wtf this never happended to me before (i was drinking absinth that night). As anyone else experienced this? She couldnt deal with that and left me i am broken. I am doing everything possible to fix myself that means limiting myself to only drink one cider when ever i go out. I feel like such a horrible person, the guilt is eating me up alive its like i become 2 different people. She said she loves the real me but cant handle my aggresive dark side when i drink. This has ruiened my life. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 absinth is really nasty stuff, highly alcoholic... not surprised you were off your head. I think the only way to regain your partner's trust is to stop drinking completely and show her that have you have changed.... good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Yep, I agree - if you're abusive and lose control when you drink then you really shouldn't drink, and quitting drinking is the best way to show your ex you've changed and to avoid destroying any future relationship in the same way as the last one. Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 well...alcoholism is interesting...its not necessarily someone thst drinks daily...it also its aboung binges..and that could be one night a week or a month...its no self control...over indulging...not being able to stop...obviously you are aware that when you drink you binge and when you do so you are not the same and you are filled with anger...could be an underlying issue though...in any given case the best you can do its get some help for youeself...there are wonderful options besides AA....look into Naltrexone/revia its a medication that basically makes you not want to drink...thats a first step or meetings or therapy whatever you feel will be the best option for you...this is of course if you are not able to control yourself...have a heart to heart with yourself first..then your SO and explain why and that you are taking the necessary steps to not let this happen again...you might be able to win her back...you may not...however its something you need to do for yourself or the cycle repeats all over again with your next R Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted August 15, 2009 Author Share Posted August 15, 2009 thanks for the advice MSUE, i went to go see a psycologist and explained everything that happened she didnt really help me all that much all she said that it was a sing of being an alcoholic and that there are many different types i never knew that, my mom suffers from the same so u guess its a genetic trait. Apart from me treating her so badly (not just her everyone close to me) and waking up regretting it so much the next morning but not really remembering why i got so angry or upset??? I have also done some really dangerous STUPID things that i dont even want to mention, i get completely selfdestrucitve my last drunken nightmare scared me straight! I will check out for that drug, even with me going to a psycologist and actively trying to improve she still doesent want me back its 6 months later now and i have lost her completely. She knows both sides of me the sober side of me is amazing and its so frustrating that she wont give me another chance. Maybe i should just let her go...sucks losing someone to a problem like this, really hurts knowing she doesent want to be with me or see a future with me and basically thinks i am psycotic loser. Would anyone see a future with someone like me if you were in love with me? Or would you pack your bags and leave asap Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 Would anyone see a future with someone like me if you were in love with me? Or would you pack your bags and leave asap just make sure you don't stay the night with your (next) girlfriend when you are on a binge... Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 thanks for the advice MSUE, i went to go see a psycologist and explained everything that happened she didnt really help me all that much all she said that it was a sing of being an alcoholic and that there are many different types i never knew that, my mom suffers from the same so u guess its a genetic trait. Would anyone see a future with someone like me if you were in love with me? Or would you pack your bags and leave asap yes I see a future...there's nothing wrong with you what you have is an illness...some people have diabetes or asthma you have alcoholism and can be treated... now you saw on dr and didn't help thats ok I had to go trough like 6 psycholgists before I found one and clicked with...its hard to find the right person which is why you should not let a one time experience discourage you...gotta keep going forward ...and yes it has been linked to genetics Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 just make sure you don't stay the night with your (next) girlfriend when you are on a binge... seriously...how about not going on a binge to begin with... Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 seriously...how about not going on a binge to begin with... of course... can he do that? Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 Sorry for your pain giotto. While I can not relate to beign a angry drunk, I can relate to how it changes one's behavior. I use to get very over emotional. I'd cry for hours on end and end up depressed. The good news is , there is plenty of help out there for you if your drinking is affecting your Relationships and life in a negative way. The most important thing to remember here, is YOU have to want to make a change. Best wishes. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted August 16, 2009 Share Posted August 16, 2009 Sorry for your pain giotto. While I can not relate to beign a angry drunk, I can relate to how it changes one's behavior. I use to get very over emotional. I'd cry for hours on end and end up depressed. The good news is , there is plenty of help out there for you if your drinking is affecting your Relationships and life in a negative way. The most important thing to remember here, is YOU have to want to make a change. Best wishes. Mea:) Hi Mea, I'm not the OP , but I agree with you... still in pain, but for other reasons than alcohol... Link to post Share on other sites
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