Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 I already have an hourglass figure, I think shoulder pads would make my upper body look out of wack. Thanks for the suggestion though, I see the idea behind it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 For pitys sake would you LISTEN to the poor guy! What more can he do to let you know that he thinks YOU are hot and beautiful? He is marrying YOU and he keeps telling YOU that he finds you attractive. LB, this underconfident obsession with 5-10lbs isn't healthy. Most men barely notice weight changes that are that small. What they DO notice is if you are constantly comparing yourself to someone else and moaning about not being perfect. They think "I think shes perfect, why doesn't she believe me?" My H always tells me he would far rather me weigh an extra few pounds and appreciate his cooking than weigh less and obsess about every calorie that passes my lips. I agree. My fiance gets frustrated I think, but does acknowledge and understand the situation and how I have struggled for so long. My best friend is obsessed with taking pictures (and I mean obsessed) so someone who struggles with a weight problem standing next to someone who has always been tall and thin can get to you after awhile. He knows that. It used to be worse, when I was more overweight, like in high school I would freaking cringe when she would constantly want to take our picture. And I know I'm going to get a lot of "you need to get over it" type comments (I already hear those from everyone) but it's a little harder than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I havent read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been suggested but swimming helped me lose the extra 10lbs I gained a few months ago. Swimming is great for toning the body and relaxing. Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I don't think you need to "get over it". I think you need to get a bit more perspective. Nearly everyone has body issues, and I can see how hanging out with your BFF could give you a complex! However, you are the one getting married to the love of your life, and that should go a long way to reassuring you that you are attractive and desirable. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Maybe if I had a best friend who looked like me it wouldn't have bothered me so much. What a ridiculous thing to say, LB. STOP comparing yourself to someone else, even your best friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Yes, shoulder pads. They're coming back in. As well, with shoulder pads you create the illusion of a more balanced figure, preferably hourglass. Draw it on a piece of paper starting with a pear-shaped body. Add broader shoulders to the look. Assuming you can even find shoulder pads anywhere, LB doesn't need shoulder pads. Look at her pictures. Her shoulders actually extend out to exact the same point as her hips. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Genetics has given each one of us a body shape. Instead of fighting it, which is self-defeating, work with it. Denying the shape won't help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 24, 2009 Author Share Posted August 24, 2009 What a ridiculous thing to say, LB. STOP comparing yourself to someone else, even your best friend. I don't think it's rediculous, it is the way I feel. And STOPPING is easier said then done. If I could just stop I wouldn't be going through this would I? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 24, 2009 Author Share Posted August 24, 2009 Genetics has given each one of us a body shape. Instead of fighting it, which is self-defeating, work with it. Denying the shape won't help. Yeah you are right about the self defeating part. I am happy with my weight though FINALLY and am going to do my best to maintain it. I never want to have to go through this again! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Yeah you are right about the self defeating part. I am happy with my weight though FINALLY and am going to do my best to maintain it. I never want to have to go through this again! Good! Think about it as the need to stay healthy. If you maintain a regular exercise regime and eating healthy, like showering or brushing your teeth, you`ll be fine! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 24, 2009 Author Share Posted August 24, 2009 Good! Think about it as the need to stay healthy. If you maintain a regular exercise regime and eating healthy, like showering or brushing your teeth, you`ll be fine! Lol, yeah. I've also tried to incorporate better eating habits, especially when going out to dinner. There are a lot of little tricks and ways to control portions in order to keep the weight off. I mean I'm going to have to eat less to maintain a lower weight. My issue with maintenance has always been that I have always fallen back into my old habits, therefore gained it all back. But that is NOT going to happen this time, I'm certain of it. Link to post Share on other sites
MindoverMatter Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 If you already had those issues in highschool, then it's been what, 10 years? Mighty long time for a counselor to still be just at the point of saying "it's hard and not easy, so woe is me". Your body weight is fine and you looked good even before you lost it. You've lived for years feeling bad about your looks compared to your best friend even (and that's a mighty big problem in any friendship), why don't you start a therapy or go to a self-help group for people with similar problems? Look at it professionally. Because unless you cut off your thighs, you won't get a different body. Best get used to it and get used to loving it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 If you already had those issues in highschool, then it's been what, 10 years? Mighty long time for a counselor to still be just at the point of saying "it's hard and not easy, so woe is me". Your body weight is fine and you looked good even before you lost it. You've lived for years feeling bad about your looks compared to your best friend even (and that's a mighty big problem in any friendship), why don't you start a therapy or go to a self-help group for people with similar problems? Look at it professionally. Because unless you cut off your thighs, you won't get a different body. Best get used to it and get used to loving it. first rule of being a counselor...we got issues too just like everyone else. i thought about therapy but they raised our copay at work so it would be hard for me to afford to go often. im happy with the weight i am at now finally so hopefully i can deal with mycomplex. oh its not a problem in our friendship bc she is understanding about it. she knows how much i ha struggled. she actually rold me how good i look when she came. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 26, 2009 Author Share Posted August 26, 2009 I'm maintaining my weight!! I have never done this before. I'm trying to continue to work out and eat healthy, when I am hungry. Hopefully I should be able to continue to maintain as I am FINALLY satisfied with the way I look! Link to post Share on other sites
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