'Rules' are making me dizzy

[goldencloud]

Okay so I met this guy in a rather 'sleazy' way...well not really sleazy but it was in a nightclub. The minute I saw him, I just couldnt look away because he's just GAH so sexy. Anyways he kept looking at me, and I'd look at him(unable to fatham such a sexy beast would look my way)...We continued this lookng at eachother game for 45 minutes before he finally talked to me. We danced for 30 minutes or so, before I left and he asked for my number.

He messages me 4 days later when I was away on vacation in Mexico, he asked me for a movie date, and I told him to postpone it till I returned.

Upon my return, I texted him to let him know. He replied the next day, we texted back and forth and he asked what I'd like to do when we did meet up(?). In any case he ended up asking me out for that evening.

Went for drinks. Had great conversation. He told me about his ex gfs(he got cheated on once), but he's a bit odd/intense. He's a financial analyst and quite into the party scene from what I gather. However we had some interesting philosophical discsussions, and he said he was surprised he met a girl at a club who could hold a decent convo together(makes me wonder what he was meeting! lol). 12:30 I mentioned we should go, he said he was in no rush, and we should head elsewhere.

Went for a random walk, and he kissed me. I wanted to eat him alive but restrained myself. I asked why it took so long for him to approach me, he said he was waiting for me to approach him.

We went to another place, had a really good time, more kissing and conversation, but felt it got too heated and said I didn't want to go any further cause it was against my 'principals' for a first date. He asked me to eloborate on my 'principals'. I said they emerge as they emerge. He was holding my hands throughout the whole time. Homeless man approached us and said we make a good looking couple(hahaha!).

ANYWAYS, to make a long story a bit shorter, he dropped me home...asked if he should come up(last attempt shot haha), I said no, kissed cheek and bye.

Next day, txted to say thanks for lovely evening, he said thank you as well, didn't sleep cause stayed out so late and went to work early!

It's been 4 days. I didn't reply to his last time. Should I txt? Or not?

Generally I would, but I have been hurt by many guys. Get excited over a prospect but lose hurt when I realise they may have been in it for the physical aspect. Or maybe I'm overanalysing. Using history to define the present. But don't they say that if you feel a certain situation arising alot, that perhaps you are the problem? And you should change your habits?

What you guys think? Just he's such a sexy guy, am sure he has ladies flooding his door way...

 

Any input would be more then appreciated:)

[Soul Bear]

'Rules' are making me dizzy

 

 

Fu*k the rules. Make your own rules and change them whenever you so wish.

 

You wont ever know his true intentions til you get to know him a bit better...

[goldencloud]

Soul Bear, thank you!!

I guess I'm just paranoid because of my history of men really liking me initially then dropping away like flies the minute I start responding 'naturally' in the initial stages of dating...

Since he didnt pose a question in his last text, felt there was nothing to respond to, and also maybe it saves me from future hurt if I just wait for him to ask me out again instead of 'caving'

aaarghh

[Soul Bear]

I guess I'm just paranoid because of my history of men really liking me initially then dropping away like flies the minute I start responding 'naturally' in the initial stages of dating...

If that's the case then they were never the right guys anyway.

 

Don't be paranoid, not every person is the same. It takes time to find real compatability. You obviously have not yet met anyone who is a great as you are yet

[Hkizzle]

Err I would disagree wtih Soul Bear. Not everyone is the same, but large percentages of the population respond or dislike certain things. Going with your feelings without thinking is about the fastest way you can destroy your chances with someone you like. We ALL want to do exactly what we want to do, but that doesn't work unfortunately.

 

First of all you're right. If you always find yourself dating jerks then you're probably attracted to the type of men that are likely to be jerks. Many people respond to and are attracted to certain behaviors for a reason and that's why rules were developed in the first place.

 

He's in the financial industry with money and likes to go to clubs. That means he attracts and probably has sex with a lot of women. You have sex with him too soon and you'll just be one of them.

 

Keep the text exchange but don't ask for a second date, let him ask, and don't have sex in the first 2 weeks. Seriously, if he can't wait that long even if you're willing to see him, he's in there just for the sex.

[goldencloud]

Hey,

 

Thanks so much for the advise. I guess it is okay to keep up the correspondence, but just shouldnt take it a step further ie ask him for second date etc...

I just have this perpetual worry in my stomach all the time when it comes to men because the same thing constantly happens!!!

[boogieboy]

I think this guy is used to getting chased by women. Thats why you havent heard from him in 4 days, and thats why he waited for you to approach him in the club. I think right now he is waiting for you to text him. He knows how to resist calling women right now because hes not emotionally invested, and he doesnt need to sleep with a woman right away. Might have a FWB on the side. So you have a choice IMO, keep contacting him and get him attached to you, see if you can make this last. Or wait for him to call, if he does, you might have him.