Being proposed to then having the proposal taken back..How should I react?!?!

[seawagal]

[font=0][/font][font=century gothic][/font][color=blue][/color]

 

Just need a place to vent..I met my boyfriend 18 months ago. At that time he was *seperated* and seeking a divorce. we hit things off smashingly. Love at first site blah blah. Moved in together and have been living together ever sense. My issue is this.When he was going thru his divorce he asked me to marry him, which I gladly accepted. He is everything to me. But when his divorce became final he suddenly changed his mind. Now he tells me that I have caused him to change his mind, ( because I chated thru a chat service to friends and family back home. I have said or done nothing disrespectfultowards him.) Now he states that he doesnt trust me and isnt sure that he can commit to me because of this. Now Im not saying I was totally in the right here.. But with that being said Im also not totally in the wrong either. He has an addiction to porn, yet even tho I have told him how very much that bothers and hurts me to know that he does this and lies to me about it that never seems to phase him. *Im curious about it so I look!* Yet when I talk to an old friend from back home he flips out and decides not to trust me and now thinks that Im not worthy enough to be his wife. I give him his freedom, I support his every whim, I have not only given up my family, friends, JOB, (but for the past year I have worked non stop helping him open his restaurant FOR FREE! because I made a promise to help him with anything he needed). But I dont let him reduce me into something that Im not. ( less of a person for being who I am)

 

My concern is that I have became the rebound person who was only there to help him get thru the *rough time* of his divorce. He freaks out when I mention that at times I feel that he is being unfair to me by asking me then retracting his proposal, causing me to want to not only move out and continue on with my life. I guess Im just feeling very hurt and betrayed by all of this. By the way, Im a 31 yr old female and he is a 32 yr old male.

[moimeme]

Be thankful he doesn't want to marry you.

 

Yet when I talk to an old friend from back home he flips out and decides not to trust me and now thinks that Im not worthy enough to be his wife

 

Does this sound like a rational person to you? Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with a person who takes everything you have to give and gives you grief in return?

 

I support his every whim, I have not only given up my family, friends, JOB, (but for the past year I have worked non stop helping him open his restaurant FOR FREE! because I made a promise to help him with anything he needed).

 

This is sounding like codependence. It's not healthy. This is no way to live. He's doing you a favour by removing himself from your life. It will be hard for you for a while, but you need to move on and find someone who will treat you much better.

[seawagal]

Ty for the reply..

 

When I entered in to the agreement of helping him build and open his restaurant I was not only helping him but also trying to secure *OUR* future. But now I feel that I'm just being taken advantage of. Which really cheeses me off. Im a very giving person and I do stand by my word when I make a promise to someone. I guess I just do not understand when someone says one thing and does the oppisite..

[moimeme]

I guess I just do not understand when someone says one thing and does the oppisite..

 

Nobody does - often not even the someone himself. Unfortunately, the world's full of mixed-up folks and we fall for them before we realize exactly how mixed-up they might be.

[seawagal]

You're correct.. Thank you so very much for the help!!