leah_kely Posted November 15, 2003 Share Posted November 15, 2003 I need an opinion.... what do you all think qualifies as a lond distance relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
DJ-TK Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 Well, I guess it really depends on the situation... If you're 17 and don't have a car yet, even someone's girlfriend who lives 90 minutes driving might be an LDR.... If from some reason, you can't meet in-person for some time, like only in weekends or something, I'd consider it to be LDR.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author leah_kely Posted November 16, 2003 Author Share Posted November 16, 2003 Well, I'm 22. I see the person everyday through work. But we only go out on the weekends. He lives about an hour away. Is it hard to maintain this sort of relationship? Is it cursed from the beginning? Especially if the two people are somewhat afraid of being in an actualy relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 Originally posted by leah_kely Especially if the two people are somewhat afraid of being in an actualy relationship? If you're looking for a diagnostic label that would explain why things aren't working out, I think this would be more accurate than ldr. Also the fact that you work together may prove problematic. Seems to me if you're hesitating because you think you might be in a long-distance relationship, you're grasping at straws. You're hesitating because you don't want the relationship. Not wanting it is reason enough -- you don't need to have an official sounding reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 To me....an LDR is when you spend more time on the phone or the net with that person than you do face to face. I doesn't seem like the case with you. An hour drive to anyone in love in an LDR would seem like HEAVEN! I agree with Midori....if the relationship isn't working for you....chances are it has nothing to do with the hour drive. Maybe you could think about what is and what is not working in the relationship beyond any particular distance. There is probably more reasons you feel it isn't right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
DJ-TK Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 I think it's not that hard to maintain this kind of relationship if you want to... An hour of driving is something which is very feasible... It seems like you have some other problems which are not got to do with the fact you live pretty distant... It might be good to see each other at work and can also be bad for your relationship as well...If you find it annoying or something so stop being together or find another job... If you're afraid of being in a relationship (Which I can hardly think of a reason to be afraid of being in a relationship), so you might wanna take it pretty slow... VERY slow even.... this would make you get used to it and not afraid of it.... Link to post Share on other sites
sunnie23 Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 when it's a long distance call, you're in a long distance relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author leah_kely Posted November 17, 2003 Author Share Posted November 17, 2003 Just to let everyone know... I don't work with the guy, he's a customer of mine. I see him almost every day because he comes into my work everyday. Because we do see each other every day, for at least a few minutes, we really don't talk on the phone much, and we email occasionally. He was the one that actually called it a LDR. I never thought of it that way. I mean most of my family lives out his way, so I didn't see it as distance. I think the main reason for having a fear of being in the relationship (on my part anyway) stems from this HUGE fear of being hurt again. I know that a person needs to risk the hurt to be open for the good in a possible relationship, but it doesn't make things any easier. Most of the guys I've been interested in, live in the same city as me, so this is the first time I've ever experienced a relationship with distance. I know that he does want to take things slow. Partly because of the distance, and partly because it's been a while since he's been in a relationship. It's been a while for me too. But I guess I'm a little curious... does anyone think that it is it possible for things to go TOO slow? Also what are some things that help make a LDR work? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Well, clearly it's not a problem for him to drive that distance daily. I don't know what he means by LDR! Usually it means that the distance precludes frequent contact. Who knows - maybe he thinks it's 'long distance' unless he's living with you! Link to post Share on other sites
DJ-TK Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 Well, I don't think you can take thing too slow... As long as it does go anywhere, even if it's slow, as long as it does move, I think it's OK... About suggestions - there is a thread (one of top 5 of the list) that says "Keeping us together-any advice?"... If you'll go there you might get some ideas on how to make an LDR work better.... I think both of you should take things slow... Just flow with it and watch what happens... If you are afraid to get hurt, just try to think of him, and how much you want more to know him and how much you want him to know you.. Try not to close yourself in fear you might get hurt... Yes, you might, but this might be a great thing you have there and it's too bad too ruin it with fears of "what happened if...." Just try to go with it... Link to post Share on other sites
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