My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me and lied about it for 5 months

[allygator]

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Okay heres the deal my boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me. we were having some problems but we got throught them. i went to florida for 2 weeks with my best friend and every day he called to see how i was. me and him were still going out and i stayed completely loyal to him when i was there. i got home on the 4th of july and we had the best night of our lives and the next day we went to the dave matthews concert. We had some fights throughout from than and we took a break/breakup kind of thing, but my friend had a party and i saw him there and he acted really weird to me and i was confussed. my friends said that my bf and this girl that i know and can't stand, were talking and saw them kiss. when they told me this i just started balling because i never thought of cheating on him and i thought we were going to get back together. so i asked him about it and he said nothing happened and just trust me. so i trusted him and i had tickets to the allstar game and he went with me. i asked him all day if anything between them happend and he said straight to my face nothing happend and i love you so much. he kept saying that all day and he was acting like how he used to so i just forgot about it. that day was so incredible between us i thought for a fact we were gonna get back together. he took me home that night and than he left and kissed me goodbye. i get a call 45 minutes later and my friends were out and he showed up and than left with this girl to go back to his house. i rushed out of my house and went straight to his house and saw her car infront of his house. i was debating whether or not to go in but i was furious and raging at the time, so i punched in his key pad to his house and his bedroom door was locked so i picked it up and saw them two laying on his bed watching a movie while he was still telling me he loves me and were going to get back together. when i saw them two i freaked out and she left after i bitched at her and said she's a piece of ****, slut, and that i wanted to kill her. so me and him argued outside his house for 3 hours about everything and he said still nothing has happend between them. not even a kiss. i knew he was lying and the next day i got my wisdom teeth pulled out and he showed up at my house and we talked. a couple days later he came out and admitted that they kissed once and i believed him and we've been together since. except for this past weekend me him and her were all at the same party and he said **** was gonna happend when we both saw her. he drove me home that nigt and i told him that me and her talked and she told me that you've done more than kiss. and i was totally lying but i wanted to trick him to catch him in the lie....he told me nothing more than he told me before and i told him i never wanted to talk to him or see him again because i actually know what happend and you can't tell me the truth. the next day he came over and we talked i told him to tell me everything or otherwise i wasn't going to see him again... he finally told me for that 2 weeks i was gone he not only kissed her but they hooked up and the next couple of days they hung out, went to dinner and a movie. now he is in college and i'm a senior and i could of cheated on him but i was loyal and i've always told him the truth. the fact that he just told me all of this just crushed me and i freaked out completely...i thought i could trust him and i thought he told me the truth but obviously he forgot some things to tell me. i feel so betrayed and hurt i have no idea what to do. i love him so much still and i want to be with him. but there is this and its keeping me so confussed on what to do. please help me with ideas what i should do...breakup or forgive???

[Arabess]

A man cheating and lying about it....isn't all that uncommon. It doesn't make him a bad person....just a normal guy.

 

I guess you would have to honestly ask yourself if you think there may be "other" lies back there....or if he may do this again in the future. Your answers to that should give you an indication if you think this relationship is still right for you. If, on the other hand, you think this is a one time deal....where he just made a mistake and is truly sorry....if you love him....give him another chance and don't dwell on what has happened between him and Ms. Good-to-go!

 

That's just my opinion though. Most females feel stronger about a "cheating guy" than I would.

[Iamhappy]

I find something so wholly wrong about this situation, I'm not sure where to begin.

 

You caught this guy - your so-called friend, your boyfriend of about 2 years in a compromising position and instead of fessing up about it, he denied it not once but numerous times.

 

Not only did you have to pull the truth out of him, but you also had to present evidence of his lies?!! This does not bode well for you or your relationship.

 

Had he been willing to acknowledge what he'd done instead of you making him acknowledge it, I might give him a pass and say ok - he's made a mistake here, but he's made the first step towards repairing your relationship by acknowledging what he'd done wrong and why it was so wrong.

 

He didn't "obviously forget" to tell you that he was cheating on you. It was a pre-meditated, calculated and selfish act meant to hurt you. Has he even said he's sorry? Does he know how much he hurt you? Does he understand why what he did was wrong?

 

It would be too easy to chalk it up to youth, to justify what he did, but there is no excuse for what he did and apparently he's not making excuses or apologies for it either. I'm guessing remorse isn't something he's ever heard of.

 

Would a friend do what he did to you? And if they did, would you still call them friend? Would you still want a relationship with them?