KitKat21 Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 My guy is literally pissing me of beyond belief!! I don't know what to make of this so maybe someone out there can help me--Anyway whenever I talk to him and tell him I'm going out with the girls,he tells me "I don't care if you Fu*k someone else,just use protection and don't give me a disease OK?" then he'll laugh it off and say he's kidding! Sometimes he'll even bring it up when we're just having a conversation at his house,I'll ask him how he feels about me and if he cares,and he says "Yeah I care about you, I just don't care if you Fu*k someone else" most of the time he says he's kidding and laughs it off, but sometimes he don't and I think he means it. I don't particularly think this is funny and I am beginning to wonder if he even gives a Fu*k about me or not. Is this some kind of loyalty test? How do I tell him this bothers me without sounding like a crybaby nag? Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 I really think your boyfriend is being rude and disrespectful of you here. I don't care if he's 13 or 30, saying that to someone who's supposedly your significant other is NOT funny - ever. It's crude and just plain thoughtless. You know him better than I do and are thus in a much better position to judge his level of maturity. To me, his behaviour seems childish and immature. I think you need to talk to him and tell him that his behaviour is upsetting you. If he pooh poohs it as you being really uptight and having no sense of humour about it, you need to re-think this relationship and what you're willing to put up with in order to be with him. If you can't have a simple discussion with him about something that's of importance to you, then this guy isn't the right guy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KitKat21 Posted November 16, 2003 Author Share Posted November 16, 2003 He tells me to "Chill out" and that "I'm over reacting " when I tell him this bothers me. He told me that he's been cheated on so many times by past girlfriends that he just don't care anymore. But I love him more than anyone,and I can't pretend this doesn't bother me. By the way he is gonna be 27 years old and is acting WAY immature for his age--I don't care what the reason is,I've been cheated on and he don't hear me saying stuff like that to him! I feel like I'm a glutton for punishment,I have no spine around him,and do whatever it takes to make his dumb ass happy and this is how he treats me!! Maybe I am better off without him,I wish I could somehow change him, but I know I can't Link to post Share on other sites
ASDFJKL Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 Hmm. I really don't think that this is THAT big of a deal. Nothing that should make you want to reevaluate the relationship. But I DO think that you need to have a talk with him. And the talk's purpose should not be to harp on him for his immature comments but to gently explain why they are bothering you. He is obviously super insecure about his relationships because he has been cheated on numerous times. You need to do whatever you can to let him know how much you care and to let him know you won't cheat on him like all of the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 I disagree with the previous poster about this not being a big deal. I do think that this is a big deal. His behaviour towards you IS disrespectful and stems from him having been treated badly in the past. That is no excuse for him to behave in a such a callous and unfeeling manner towards you. I think this is very telling: he's been cheated on so many times by past girlfriends that he just don't care anymore So he doesn't care that he hurts your feelings? You've told him that this bothers you and his answer is that you are over-reacting and that you need to chill out? I stand by what I said previously: If he pooh poohs it as you being really uptight and having no sense of humour about it, you need to re-think this relationship and what you're willing to put up with in order to be with him. If you can't have a simple discussion with him about something that's of importance to you, then this guy isn't the right guy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 You need to do whatever you can to let him know how much you care and to let him know you won't cheat on him like all of the rest. I'm sorry, but I find myself also disagreeing with this statement. You mention that both of you have been cheated on in the past. Obviously, this is a much bigger, unresolved issue for your boyfriend who seems to want to make you pay for the sins of his previous lovers. While I find nothing wrong with reassuring him of your fidelity (and he should be doing the same for you), with the way you described the situation, I'm inclined to think that you are the only one making an effort here. I'd also wonder just how much he cares about you or how much he wants to be in a relationship with you if he's going to go around saying things like he's been cheated on so many times by past girlfriends that he just don't care anymore You need to sit this guy down for a long talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KitKat21 Posted November 16, 2003 Author Share Posted November 16, 2003 I'm fed up with his shi*! I called him this evening around 7:00 to ask him what he was doing and he told me he was going out to the club and he would call me when he got home. Anyway he called around a half hour ago,and when I asked him if he had fun he says"Oh I ended up staying for a half hour then I came home" WHAT THE FUC*!!! I sat around all day missing him and he was home the whole time and doesn't call me 'till 1:30 in the morning!!! I want to give him the benefit of the doubt by thinking that maybe he just wanted to be alone tonight,but when I talked to him on the phone he had nothing to say and whenever I would say anything like "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow" he gets defensive and says "There you go again with your reverse psychology shi*" I just want to give him space and not be clingy. Also he always sounds like somethings wrong by the tone of his voice and when I ask him"Whats' wrong" he says(with a major attitude)"Nothing is wrong!! I've told you 500 times before that if something is wrong I'll tell you" I'm sick of walking on eggshells with him! I should be able to stand up to him and say what I want, but he always cops an attitude if it has anything to do with our relationship! Another thing that bothers me is that he used to call me "Sweetness" all the time and he hasn't said it for the past few days. Does he want out of this or am I going crazy? What the hell am I gonna do? Link to post Share on other sites
Stangel311 Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 Doesnt sound good KitKat Something is going on with him Hes either depressed, losing interest, or cheating on you Of course thats just my opinion You know him I dont Anyway be strong and Take care of yourself thats the important thing Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 16, 2003 Share Posted November 16, 2003 Do you really enjoy this relatinship? Is it really worth it to you to put up with this childish behaviour? I'm guessing that you think that he'll change one of these days and grow up, despite all the evidence to the contrary. This guy is going to continue in his immature ways and I think you're doing yourself no favours by letting him and encouraging him. If I were you, I'd drop him and find a man who has already grown up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KitKat21 Posted November 16, 2003 Author Share Posted November 16, 2003 Were done!!!! I have recited what I'm gonna say to him when I see him tonight. This is not gonna be easy(believe it or not),but I agree with everyone that his behavior is rude,selfish, and unacceptable-- he ain't gonna change I was living a lie thinking he would! I should be with someone who respects me and makes me feel special,I have been nothing but depressed,sick,and hurt for the past two weeks and I can't take it anymore!! I'm gonna tell him that I'm sick of feeling this way-- that all he does is bring me down,and breaks my heart. I think that he isn't man enough to break it off with me himself and is just gonna treat me so bad to where I do it myself!! Well he'll get his wish tonight when I take all my stuff out of his house,tell him to "Fuc* off" and get out of his life!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author KitKat21 Posted November 16, 2003 Author Share Posted November 16, 2003 Another thing--- Can anyone tell me the best way to end it with this guy?( What to say,what to do, etc.) I know this sounds really callus,but I want to make him feel REALLY bad, sorry,and like shi* when I do this. I want him to realize that he's losing a good thing! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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