Am I doing the right thing??

[EricaH329]

Yesterday I posted a thread wondering why my ex was trying to contact me so badly, after he completely ignored and avoided me for weeks at time. When I finally responded to one of his e-mails asking him to leave me alone, he then went on to say that it's really important and that he needs to talk to me. Turns out, he wanted me back.

 

Now, through this whole emotional rollercoaster that i've been on in the past month, I was finally starting to come to the realization that I can live without him. Of course, I will still be in pain, but I was determined to turn the terrible situation into a positive one.

 

I love him with all of my heart. I always will. He was my first love. And when he called me and started to beg for me back, saying how much of a coward he was, and he was sorry for everything he put me through... I felt like it wasn't fair. He had told me to move on only a week earlier! I had started making progress!

 

After all was said and done, I decided to give him another chance. I love this man with all my heart. But at the same time, I have never had so much anxiety about this in my life. He put me through so much pain and hurt, and I know that will subside over time... but i'm not sure if we can ever go back to being the way we were before. Don't get me wrong, I want more than anything to be back with him, and i'm glad we are, but I have this nagging feeling that it's not the right thing to do... and I hate to admit that.

 

While he was telling me how much he misses me, and how much he loves me, and how much he can't wait to hold me again and just be with me... I realized I was hesitant on saying the same.

 

Maybe it's from the pain and hurt he put me through? Maybe it'll take some time to get over that? I want so much for things between him and I to be better again, but this feeling I have right now isn't giving me much hope.

 

What's your opinion??

[LisaUk]

Why did he break up with you? What happened? what were his reasons?

For any reconciliation to work, you need to address whatever went wrong, it can't just be about being together if you want it to work out.

 

How serious were you? How long were you together? How long did you break up for? All these questions are relevant to whther or not you two will be able to work through the problems in the relationship and rebuild your trust in him.

[EricaH329]

Why did he break up with you? What happened? what were his reasons?

For any reconciliation to work, you need to address whatever went wrong, it can't just be about being together if you want it to work out.

 

How serious were you? How long were you together? How long did you break up for? All these questions are relevant to whther or not you two will be able to work through the problems in the relationship and rebuild your trust in him.

 

Well, it all came down to basically having trouble communicating. He is in the military, and he's off at school right now, and our plan was to get married while he was in school so that wherever he got stationed, I would be able to follow. It had gotten to a point where we were both so frustrated that nothing was working out the way we had planned, that we failed to communicate properly. It was the first time in our relationship that things had gone that wrong.

 

We were together for about a year, and we broke up for about 3 weeks. When he came back to me yesterday asking for me back, he also told me that he realized the problem was a lack of communication. He felt the need to try and figure things out by himself, and when he got stuck on what to do... he figured that it would be easier to break up.

 

I was wary about going back into this relationship, because the same thing could obviously happen again... but he convinced me that this time we are both going in this together. We are both going to figure out what needs to be done, and we are both going to communicate with eachother more effectively.

 

What I failed to mention, though, was that during those 3 weeks of us not being together, he had made an attempt to get back with me... only to ignore and avoid me all over again. I made it very clear to him this time, that if that were to happen again, not only will we never be together again, but I think the hatred that would form from that would be so strong that I don't feel as if we would ever be able to have any sort of relationship, even as friends, ever again. He understands that, and in just the past day i've seen a huge improvement.

 

But... of course... i'm still nervous about this.

[bella16]

I find it so funny that they always come back when we are getting ourselves back on track again and trying to move on with our lives. I am in the same situation, and I love my bf with all of my heart also and would take him back if he decides its the right time.

 

We only been together 6 months and he broke up because our communication sucked also...texting! It tore us apart. He dumped me, I was so hurt and never felt that kind of pain in my entire life and begged and cried...he did not want to hear it. Now he contacts me, wanting to see me. I was doing so good. They always come running back after we've started to heal.

 

I say do what your heart tells you to do if you truly love him. But you need to set some standards if he did hurt you that bad.

[bimmyboy]

Sometimes you don't know what you have until its gone, or until there's the prospect of you not being able to have it. It's obviously difficult to know what this guy is like based on your posts but you have to listen to your intuition. I have acted in similar ways to him in the past and I regret those actions because she didn't take me back. Years later I feel the same way about her. You need perspective I think, If her REALLY loves you he can wait a little while for you while you sort yourself out. A couple weeks of not talking really can give you some clarity