pinky11 Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 I am at a total loss here and really need some opinions/advice. I have a wedding planned for October 10th, 2009. A fairly big wedding at that, alot of people involved and lots of money out there. I have been with him for 3 years, engaged for 2. I never thought I would be able to trust a man ever again until I met him. He treats me like gold, he has a great job, he is responsible, doesn't drink too much, wants kids. My entire family is in love with him. We have had our fair share of problems, ex: money, family problems, etc. But never did we ever wavor, we always stayed strong and felt so lucky to have eachother when it was all said and done. The last 3 months have been full force wedding planning and it has been hectic but very exciting. So here's my problem....I found an email, (which I was not looking for) from a girl that talked about "how could you tell me how much you care about me and that you should have stayed with me, you told me that you called off your engagement but then I found out that you are still getting married???" This was written in the beginning of July. When I confronted him about it he said that we were fighting and he was stressed for about a week but that he never cheated on me and he still wants to marry me. I verified this story with her. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to listen to my heart and do what I feel is right. But I don't know what that is. I am hurt and angry. I don't know if I should take this as a "sign". I do know that when I think about not being with him it is scary, I don't think I can live without him, but I don't want to make a huge mistake. I am completely blind sided by this. I have never doubted that we should be getting married and I always thought he felt the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Oh, he cheated all right. maybe not physically, but emotionally, he cheated. The very fact you are posting here, means one thing: You actually DO want to call off the wedding. You don't trust him, you feel betrayed and destroyed, and completely torn up about what he did. His paltry excuse about this being precipitated by an argument you had, is cowardice, because lots of people have arguments, but they don't automatically start affairs with other people, who then write them e-mails claiming to be astonished they're still engaged, lat alone getting married.... This is serious crap, to my mind. Listen to your heart, indeed. Listen to your logic too.... Because both are telling you to put the brake on this, and to do it now.... the way you feel now, would you be happy to put on the dress, and walk down the aisle? I think not. And what makes you think he won';t do it again? Divorces are messy. This seems to be a huge deal.... calling it off, telling the parents, cancelling the reception... Do it. It will take courage, but Do it..... Do it now, or have this black foetid area of doubt in your mind for ever more. Or until the next time..... Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 "I don't think I can live without him" --that was all you needed to say. You CAN live without him, you are just dependant on him, which is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Don't stay with someone out of "necessity", stay with someone out of want and JOY. I don't trust him either, and I think you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
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